


Forgive Us Our Trespasses

by Remembertherandler



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Boys Kissing, Dry Humping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Face Slapping, Flashbacks, Forbidden Love, Grinding, Groping, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Injuries, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pining, Separations, Serenade, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Singing, Smut, The feels, Threats of Violence, rhink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:43:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 47,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6817684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remembertherandler/pseuds/Remembertherandler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/>When the love of your life isn't your wife, but your best friend, business partner, and secret lover, you live on the edge of disaster. What happens when well kept secrets are revealed? How do you cope when you feel that you've lost everything but, at the same time, everything you've always dreamed of is finally within reach? When you are faced with the most difficult times of your life, with the truths you've been denying, it tests you to your very core.</p>
  <p>Fic <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3VOfHNGNTA">Trailer</a> by <a href="http://allthedevilishthingswedo.tumblr.com">@allthedevilishthingswedo</a></p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Exposed

**Author's Note:**

> This work has been stewing for a while but, I am nervous to put it out there because my stuff is usually either more innocent, or complete and utter filth. This is something I am pouring more of myself into, one that deals with more complex emotions and relationships.
> 
> As always, your Comments and Kudos are welcomed and appreciated!
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
>  
> 
> _P.S. I Tumble, if you're into that kind of thing[remembertherandler](http://www.remembertherandler.tumblr.com)_  
> 

Link stood, staring at himself in the mirror, his thin frame reflecting back at him. His eyes traveled down his left arm to his hand, bruised, his knuckles red and tattered. He dragged his fingers through rough stubble, straining the skin at his chin and peering closely at the few grey hairs spouting there. He didn’t feel like shaving, but they were filming an important segment today. One he couldn’t get out of. The bright lights surrounding the vanity illuminated dark circles under each of his eyes. He hadn’t slept. He sighed deeply as he turned on the hot water tap, allowing it to run until billows of steam began to rise from the basin. He reached down, placing his hands under the scalding stream. He inhaled sharply, the water burning. He wanted it to hurt, he needed it to, he deserved for it to hurt. He splashed the steaming liquid onto his face and stared back at his reflection, the water running down his face and continuing to his long neck. He shook the can of shaving cream, averting his eyes from his reflection. He couldn’t stand to look at himself anymore. He lathered his face.

He grabbed for his razor, running water over the blades before tapping it against the ceramic surface, staring into the drain of the sink. If only he could shave without looking at his reflection. He took a deep breath and met his own gaze in the reflective surface. _You’re a piece of shit._ He pulled the skin of his neck taught on one side and pulled the razor along his jaw line. He pressed firmly, wanting it to hurt, hoping he might draw blood. _You ruined your own life._ He passed over the same places with the blade multiple times, aggravating the skin beneath. _You’re greedy and selfish._ He grasped the towel roughly from the bar on the wall and yanked it viciously toward him, pulling one side of the bar out of the drywall. _You wanted everything, and now you have nothing._ He wiped the remaining shaving cream from his face, throwing the towel on the floor and walking out of his master bathroom without looking at his reflection again.

He strode to his dresser, dropping his towel to the floor as he passed by Christy’s vanity; the drawers were still thrown open, a few garments draped messily over the sides. He stared at the small fist-sized hole in the wall next to it. _Oh, Christy._ He lowered his head taking a deep breath before pulling open his drawer and plucking out boxers and socks. He tossed his head back and slammed the drawer hard, knocking a photo frame to the floor. A photo of he and his wife, taken on a hike, here in California with their kids and friends. She looked happy and loved. _You ruined this, you fucking moron._ He looked at his own face in the picture. His gaze wasn’t quite directed at the lens, but over it, to the person holding the camera, Rhett.

“Fuck you, Rhett!” he screamed, throwing the frame at the wall, his heavy sobs covering the sound of the shattering glass. “Fuck you for doing this to me!” He sunk to the floor, naked and sobbing. He clasped desperately around his knees, drawing them to his chest. He rocked in place, tears trickling over his arms and down his slender legs. He replayed the previous night in his head for, what seemed like, the millionth time.

\---------------

Christy sat on the edge of the bed, holding her phone to her ear. Her eyes darted quickly from side to side as she listened to the voice on the other end.

Link flicked off the bathroom light as he entered the bedroom. He looked at Christy, confused. “Who is that?” he asked quietly as he peeled off his t-shirt, tossing it aside. It was unusual for someone to call so late, unless it was an emergency.

Christy cupped her hand around the phone, shielding the microphone. “It’s Jessie,” she whispered. “She sounds really upset.” Christy returned her attention to the call.

Link felt like he was going to be sick. _Jessie?… Rhett, No!_ It wasn’t unusual for Jessie to call, but at this hour? After the conversation he’d had with Rhett before leaving the office that night? He felt like his legs were liquefying beneath him. He watched the expression on Christy’s face shift from concerned, to shocked and finally, rage-filled.

“Jessie, I need to go.” She looked up from the floor, her eyes welling with tears and her mouth clenched closed, lips pursed. She ended the call, without saying another word, and threw the phone to the bed before getting to her feet and taking the few steps needed to close the gap between them. She stood in front of him a moment before reaching up and slapping him hard across the face. She winced, rubbing at her hand as she turned away from him.

Link’s face was on fire with the force of the slap. His skin heating up where she had struck him. He reached for her as she headed for the closet, grasping her elbow. A mistake.

“Don’t you fucking touch me, Charles!” She began to weep uncontrollably as she tore her arm away and ripped open the closet door, it slammed hard into the door frame.

“Christy please-“ Link began walking toward her.

She grabbed a boot from the floor and threw it at him, narrowly missing his head. “Link I swear to God, stay the hell away from me right now!” She grabbed a large duffle bag from the back of the closet and pushed past him roughly, shoving him, as she headed for her dresser.

“Christy, I can explain,” Link pleaded. _No, I can’t._

“Explain what?” Christy yelled as she threw open drawers. “How you have been lying to me?” She stuffed the bag roughly. “How you have been _fucking_ your, so called, best friend?” She hauled the bag up draping the strap around her shoulder as she entered the bathroom and began emptying the drawers of the vanity.

 _She's right, you're fucking scum._ Link stood motionless and silent.

“What’s the matter Link, I thought you could explain?” She slammed the drawer and threw back the shower curtain, collecting her things.

“Christy… Christy, don’t.” Link didn’t know what else to say. He couldn’t believe this had happened. He loved his wife, his kids, his family. He didn’t want to lose it but, he loved Rhett too, his lifelong friend, his business partner, his lover. He couldn’t blame Christy for this visceral reaction.

“You make me sick!” She moved back to her dresser, riffling through the top drawer. “All this time.” She stood still, her hands resting on the surface of the dresser, fussing with her fingers, “How long, Link?” she asked, turning, finally making eye contact with him.

Link felt the deepest sorrow he’d ever experienced seeing the pain in her bloodshot eyes. _You did this._ “Christy… I don’t-" he stammered, before Christy cut him off.

“How long, Link!?” She turned and walked toward him, throwing her bag to the floor. “How long!?” She pounded her fists against his chest, collapsing against him, weeping. She began to sob uncontrollably. Her tears running down over his bare skin.

Link began to run his hand over her back, in an attempt to sooth her but she shrugged it off and stepped back.

“Answer me,” she said calmly, the tears still streaming slowly from her eyes.

“Since we started working together in Lillington,” Link said, staring down at his feet. He couldn’t bear to look her in the eye when he admitted to what he had been keeping from her for the better part of a decade.

She blinked rapidly, breathing in deeply. After a few moments she spoke, “I’m taking the kids,” she said plainly, turning from him to pick up her packed bag.

“Christy wait, let them-“ Link followed after her. He wanted to try to explain. He wanted to fix this.

“I’m taking them, Link!” she interjected. “I’m taking them to my parent’s with me.” She opened the door to their bedroom and headed down the hall.

Link felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He ignored it. “Can’t you wait until morning?” he pleaded. “The kids are asleep... I'll sleep on the couch! I'll leave!" He hoped if he could convince her to stay, that he could somehow fix this incredible mess.

“No, I can’t be here,” she said, standing outside of their daughter’s room.

Link reached out, clasping her shoulder "Christy-"

“Get away from me, Link!” She turned, breaking his hold on her, shoving him backward into the opposing wall, “I can’t stand to look at you.” She twisted the knob and entered the room.

He rested there against the wall, longing to follow her, to wrap his arms around her, to beg her to forgive him, but he owed her the space that she asked for. He headed back to their bedroom. Anger building in him with each step. How could Rhett do this to him? He slammed their bedroom door and it rattled in its hinges. He felt his phone vibrate again. _Fuck off!_

Link replayed her last words to him over in his head _‘I can’t look at you.’ _He walked to Christy’s dresser resting his palms on it, hanging his head, his eyes closed. He could hear the kids asking questions in the hall, scared and worried that something was wrong, asking for him. He heard Christy directing them to pack their things, that they were going on a surprise trip and that he had to work.__

He opened his eyes looking down at his hands. Between them sat a gleaming gold ring. Christy’s wedding ring. “No,” Link breathed, his pulse pounding in his ears. “No, no, no!” he hollered, slamming his hands on top of the dresser before sliding his them across it, sending everything on the surface flying. He balled up his fist, throwing it forward, violently driving it through the drywall. The pain shot through his hand and up his arm. He'd likely broken it. _Feel it, you deserve it!_

\---------------

An alarm began to sound from across the room; it jarred him from his self-loathing. _Christy?_ He got to his feet, crossing the room quickly and snatching his phone from the nightstand. He smiled weakly at the sight of Jade, curled up and sleeping peacefully next to his pillow.

The noise had been a reminder about the shoot today but, his phone was riddled with notifications.

Six text message alerts, his heart sank, all from Rhett:

The first, sent at 12:18am, read: **Link...**

The second, sent a mere five minutes later: **Link, please don’t shut me out.**

He scoffed, that was the least he deserved for what he’d done.

The third, sent at 12:38am: **Link, I had to tell Jessie.**

“You didn’t have to anything; you chose this.” He sneered at his phone, hating it for showing him these words.

The fourth, sent at 12:46am: **I’m sorry. I had to… she deserves to know, so does Christy… please.**

Link was fuming, _how dare he even say her name after what he, what they, had done. How dare he?_

The fifth, 1:55am, read simply: **I need you… please.**

Link felt a pang of guilt. He loved Rhett, but he just couldn’t forgive him for this, at least not yet.

The last one came through at 3:05am: **Link, I love you.**

His eyes welled with tears. _I love you too Rhett, but I hate you for this._ He looked around at the empty room, at the signs of Christy that were strewn about due to her rapid departure the night before. The house was silent, normally the kids would be up and pestering him at this hour. Nagging at him and telling him about their plans for the day, teasing each other. He missed the commotion. The emptiness was overwhelming.

His phone buzzed in his hand, a new text message from Rhett: **I’m outside.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Gregory Alan Isakov - If I Go, I'm Going](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3gnxO8bUxQ)
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By @Mythicalea](https://mythicalea.tumblr.com/post/146151438096/remembertherandler-i-missed-our-boysso-i-did)


	2. Kicked Out

Rhett looked at the clock on his dash, 5:45am. He sat with his seat reclined, trying to get comfortable. His tall frame was difficult to squeeze into even the largest vehicles. He peered out the passenger window at the house he had parked in front of. Link’s house. The minivan was gone, only Link’s car was parked in the driveway. _Christy must have left._

He saw a soft light coming from the window he knew to be the master bedroom. _Link is awake._ He felt as if his heart was shattering into a million pieces. He wanted to get out of the car, to go to the door, to demand entry. He knew Link hadn’t wanted this, that it was killing the man that he loved. _I’m so sorry, Link. I didn't mean to._ His eyes dampened with tears as he replayed the heated conversation they shared in their office, less than 12 hours earlier.

\-----------------

Rhett stood stooped over Link, his arms wrapped around his wide shoulders, encircling his neck, as he placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Rhett,” Link tipped his head to the side, allowing Rhett greater access, “I need to get this done,” he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders to try and free himself from the giant man towering over him.

“Do you?” Rhett purred in his ear before gripping it gently between his teeth and suckling. “Everyone’s gone,” he giggled.

A shiver ran its course through Link’s body. “As a matter of fact.” Link was determined now. He shoved his arm up between Rhett’s and his chest, breaking the larger man’s hold on him, “I do,” Link said, spinning in his chair to face Rhett.

Rhett placed his hands on either side of Link, grasping the arms of the chair. His small tongue darted out of his mouth, his eye brow raised.

Link smirked, he was pleased with himself, smug.

Rhett silently accepted the challenge. He pressed his lips firmly to Link’s, immediately deepening the kiss and driving his tongue into the seated man’s mouth. He tasted of familiar notes, all of them Link.

Link moaned quietly, responding to the passionate kiss he was receiving. He reached his hands up to bury them in Rhett’s golden locks but Rhett had suddenly broken the kiss and stepped back.

“Don’t you have ‘pressing paperwork’ to do?” he teased with a wink as he moved to his own chair, plunking down into it.

"Tease." Link spun around, rolling his eyes before settling back to his work.

Rhett watched as Link picked over the minute and tedious details of the following day. It always amazed him how focused Link could be, determined. Sure, it meant that he could be a stubborn jackass at times. But, he was Rhett’s stubborn jackass. He watched Link’s eyes dart back and forth over his screen, the white light being cast on his face made his blue eyes glimmer like sapphires. Rhett smiled.

Link, sensing his gaze, looked up from his screen. “What?” he asked, puzzled by the pathetic love-struck look on Rhett’s face.

Before Rhett knew what was happening, words were spilling out of his mouth. “I want to be with you.”

Link’s eyebrows shot up, visible above his glasses for a moment before a small smile grew on his face. “Rhett, you are with-"

“No, Link.” Rhett was powerless to stop the torrent of words that were about to come flooding out of him. “I want to be with you, only with you.” He stood from his chair and began pacing the room. “I’m tired of living like this, of lying to everyone.” Rhett felt all of the emotions he been bottling up since the two sat at a card table in a basement in Lillington, erupting inside of him. It was like a spark had ignited a tank of gasoline.

Link sat silent. Unmoving, his facial expression almost vacant as his eyes followed his friend, back and forth, across their office.

“I can’t do it anymore, Link!” Rhett fell onto the couch, his hands slamming into his thighs. “I love you.” He brought them to his face, resting his forehead in his palms. “I want you. I don’t want to have to hide it anymore.” Tears began to stream from his eyes.

Link watched, his mouth falling open, as his best friend, his soul mate, his lover, came unraveled in front of him. Like someone had popped him with a pin and he was deflating. He rose from his chair and crossed the room to the couch. “Rhett.” He placed his hand on Rhett’s shoulder, massaging it gently. “We’ve talked about this. Our families… our work.”

Rhett lifted his head, his green eyes stricken red. He stared up at Link.

“Oh, Bo.” Link sank down, crouching in front of him.

“But, Link… I…” Rhett stared into Link’s mournful eyes. “I can’t…” He leaned away, resting his back against the couch. “I don’t sleep anymore, Link.” He wiped his tear-stained cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt. “Because every time I close my eyes, my head is full of you, of us… together.” He tipped his head back, his eyes closing. “I can’t take it. It hurts too much.” He clasped his hand behind his head; his chin began to quiver as he fought to hold back the deluge residing just behind his eyelids.

Link sunk to the floor at his feet, resting his head on Rhett's knee, quiet for a long time before speaking. “Rhett…” he began, uncertainty clear in his trembling voice. “I don’t know what to say.” Tears began to stream silently down his own face.

Rhett felt the knee of his jeans dampening and he looked down at the man huddled between his legs, clinging to him. He smiled.

“I can’t throw away everything I’ve built.” Link sounded resolute. “And everything we’ve built together.” He looked up, meeting Rhett’s gaze. “I’m sorry Rhett,” he pleaded with his eyes. “I’m sorry but, I just can’t.” He got up from the floor, walked to the desk, grabbing his coat from the back of the chair and pulling it on over his weary body.

“Fuck you, Link,” Rhett stated plainly, his voice even. He rose from the couch.

Link turned to face Rhett, adjusting the collar of his jacket, a stunned look on his face.

“So, you get to choose?” He stood still, not daring to get any closer to Link, not when he was this angry. “Fuck you!” he yelled. “I love you, you fucking… you...” He felt the heat rising in his cheeks, his anger building. “You don’t get to decide this for us, Link!” he bellowed, clenching his fists at his sides.

Link began to walk toward him but Rhett had clearly had enough.

Rhett snatched his hoodie from the accent chair in the corner. “I’m fucking done.” He threw open their door and began striding quickly down the hall, trying to get as far away from Link as he could.

“Rhett, wait!” Link called, grabbing his phone and keys before following him down the hall, “Rhett!” he cried desperately.

Rhett stopped, facing ahead.

“You’re not going to-” Link's tone was that of a pleading beggar.

“No, Link,” Rhett interjected. "I’m not going to tell.” He heard a relived sigh from behind him. “Happy?”

\---------------

He hadn’t meant to tell. He had resigned himself to continuing to live a lie. As much as he wanted to be with the man that he loved, to finally feel free, he knew that it wasn’t fair to Link, to their wives and children, or their employees, to risk everything. He was being selfish but, as he sat at the foot of his bed that night listening to Jessie talk about her book club, the kids schooling, the grocery list, he came undone. The truth spilled from his lips like a levee had been breached. He still couldn’t believe it had happened, but it was like a weight had been lifted from him. He could finally breathe.

He looked down at his phone, at the messages he had sent Link, all unanswered. His eyes lingered on the second text he had sent that evening. **Link, I had to tell Jessie.** _Did I?_ He sighed deeply, clicking off his screen. _Yes, it was the right thing._ He tried to convince himself but, the images of his heartbroken wife filled his head.

\---------------

Rhett stood outside in his driveway, barefoot and shirtless. The asphalt still held some heat from the day’s sunshine. _You did the right thing._ He was watching his belongings exiting the front door as Jessie hurled expletives at him. _She should know… she deserves to know._

“How dare you?” She tipped a bin full of shoes onto the front step before disappearing back into the house. She emerged moments later with a handful of button-downs, still on the hangers. “What did you think, I would never find out?” She tossed them into the damp grass; the sprinkler had just switched off.

 _I know it’s not enough but,_ “Jessie, I’m sor-“ Rhett began before Jessie stepped on his words.

“Don’t you fucking dare say you are sorry again!” she hollered, running down the stairs onto the grass. “Don’t you fucking dare!” She stood mere feet from him, her 5’2” frame trembling with anger.

Rhett took a step toward her, reaching out in a feeble attempt to comfort her. “Jessie, please. Just calm down,” Rhett soothed as he continued to approach her. _She deserves to hate me for this._

She dropped to her knees, letting out a heart wrenching wail, her face in her hands. She hadn’t shed a tear until now. “Did you ever even love me, Rhett?” Her words were a muffled mess, wet and breathy.

Rhett felt as if his heart would plummet through his stomach and embed itself into the earth. “Jessie, yes… yes, of course.” His breathing became erratic. _This is the right thing._ He crouched down next to her, feeling the dewy grass between his toes. His back twinged. “I still do.” _I just can’t live this lie anymore._ He reached out to place his large palm on her back. She must have sensed it because she shoved him hard and he toppled over onto the lawn, his sweats dampening where they’d made contact.

“You don’t get to touch me,” she said as she stood. Her tears had ceased, an eerie calm took their place.

“Jessie, I… What can I do?” he said, regaining his footing and standing. “How can I make this better?” Rhett wanted more than anything to ease her pain. _This is the right thing._

“You can take your things,” she said, staring ahead and avoiding his gaze. “And get the hell out of my yard.” She turned and strode back toward the house, the door was still ajar and Barbara came bounding out. “Take the dog with you,” she said as she kicked past his clothing, entering the house and slamming the door.

\---------------

The sound of the door sounded in his head, as clear as when it had happened. He winced. Barbara sat up in his lap, awakened by the sudden movement. “It’s okay little one,” he said, patting her head as she settled. He looked at the clock again. 6:15am. _I’ve waited long enough._ He woke up his phone, the screen still open to his one sided conversation with Link.

**I’m outside** , he typed, hesitating only a moment before pressing send. He paused. _Maybe I should just leave._ He looked down at the messages again. _No._ He lifted Barbara from his lap, placing her in the passenger seat. He climbed out of the car, closing the door softly behind him. He took short strides, crossing the lawn slowly. He smoothed out his shirt with the palms of his hands before reaching up and pressing the door bell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone for reading and a special thanks to those leaving comments and kudos! Your feedback helps encourage me to write :)
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [The Antlers - Two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-BFLjyIb04)  
> [Matchbox 20 - Bed of Lies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn_zRG4z9aQ)


	3. Help Me Forget

**I’m outside.** Link read the text again. He bolted to the window, throwing open the curtain. Rhett’s FJ Cruiser was parked in front of the house; it was empty, aside from a little white dog standing in the passenger window. _What the fuck is he doing here!?_ The doorbell sounded.

 _Asshole!_ Link pulled on his underwear and stormed down the hall, through the living room to the front door. He threw the lock and pulled the door open violently. He felt his rage fade from him as his eyes settled on Rhett’s. The beautiful, normally bright, green eyes were bloodshot and squinted. Dark circles making them look sunken in his sullen face.

“Link, I….” He dropped his gaze, his head hanging down. He began to sob loudly, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head. _I’m sorry._

Link wanted to reach out for him, wrap his arms around the large cowering man and pull him into his chest, rest his chin on Rhett’s shoulder, to sooth him by rubbing his hands over the expanse of his large back. _Oh, Rhett._ He hated seeing him like this but, this was not the time for comforting. He remained still and silent. The compassion he initially felt giving way to anger, it roiled just below the surface.

Rhett finally looked up from his hands, taking in the sight of Link, his thin frame nearly naked, his hair in disarray, and his normally bright eyes dark and weary. His eyes traveled over him until they settled on Link’s wounded hand. _What the hell?_ “Link… Link, your hand.” Rhett reached for him reflexively.

“It's nothing,” Link said, tucking it behind his back.

 _That's not nothing._ Rhett reached for him once again.

"Don't worry about my stupid fucking hand, Rhett!" Link took a step back.

 _He's hurt, and it's you're fault_ “I’m so sorry, Link.” Rhett wiped his eyes with his sleeve. _Sorry? It’s not enough._

Hearing Rhett apologize had him on the brink of exploding. _You’re not sorry._ “How could you do this to me, Rhett… to us… fucking Christ!” Link’s anger boiled over, filling the room.

“Link, I… I don’t know what happ… It just slipped out!” He fell to his knees.

“It slipped out!?” Link was furious now, his face hot with the force of his words. “How the hell does something like that 'just slip out', Rhett!” He turned and took a few steps away before spinning on his heels. “You did this on purpose!” Link said, thrusting an accusatory finger at him. “You couldn’t just leave well enough alone, huh?” Link threw his hands in the air before gripping his hair firmly between his fingers. “I told you I wasn’t ready for this!”

Rhett said nothing. _You’re right._ He kept his eyes on the floor, his tears forming a small puddle between his knees.

Link pulled hard on his dark strands, “You fucking promised me, Rhett!” Link felt the muscles in his legs begin to tremble, struggling to keep him upright.

_Let him yell. You deserve worse for what you did._

“You knew this would happen!” Link’s voice cracked as he felt tears forming in his eyes. The sadness and anger combined, he felt his grip on reality slipping. He was losing control. He suddenly rushed at the cowering man, grabbing his hair roughly and yanking his head back. He wound up his fist. His jaw was tight, his breathing rapid and ragged as he prepared to swing.

Rhett looked up at the man standing over him, poised to deliver a blow. He almost didn’t recognize the eyes that stared down at him, black and hateful. “Do it!” he yelled, letting his head fall limp in the other man’s grasp. He wasn’t going to fight it. _Punch me, Link._ “Fucking do it!” Rhett screamed.

Link suddenly felt the weight of it all, everything that had transpired, like immeasurably heavy yoke around his neck. His hand fell limply to his side as he dropped to his knees in front of Rhett, his head falling forward to rest against Rhett’s stomach, his hands forming fists again as he slammed them against the man’s large chest. “I hate you!” he screamed out, his tears spilled out as he continued pounding his fists, his wounded hand burning with each blow. “I fuckin… I fucking hate you!” He grasped at the fabric of Rhett's shirt, shaking him. _I could never hate you._

 _I did this._ Rhett’s hands rested at his sides. _I did this to him._ He wanted more than anything to wrap Link in his long arms but, he was afraid his touch would only bring him more pain.

Link's hands stilled, his fists opening, palms now resting on firm muscle. _It would be easier if I could just hate you._ He pressed himself closer, his head now resting between his hands on Rhett’s chest. He felt like his body was an empty husk, drained entirely, emotionally, physically. _I need you._ His hands slid down Rhett’s body, encircling him. _I love you._

Rhett gasped at the feeling of Link’s arms wrapping around him, squeezing gently. _Huh?_ He dropped his head slowly, hesitantly resting his cheek on the top of Link’s head. He placed his hand on Link’s back, half expecting him to explode with anger again, he had every right.

Link held tight, squeezing harder.

Rhett began moving his hand slowly up and down over Link’s back, feeling the points of his shoulder blades. He breathed in deeply, feeling almost normal again.

Pressed against his gentle giant, feeling large hands rubbing over his bare skin, the only thing Link needed, or wanted, was Rhett. _I need the pain to stop._ The hurt, the feeling of loss, the pain in his broken hand, all fueled the intense, almost primal lust building within him. _Make it stop, Rhett... please._ He lifted his head abruptly.

Rhett pulled his hand away, afraid he’d pushed it too far by touching Link.

Link regarded the man in front of him, the love and concern obvious in the tortured features that adorned his face. _I need you._ He brought his hands around in front of Rhett’s body, placing them on his chest once more. _I need to forget... just for a while._ He shoved Rhett hard, knocking him to the ground beneath him. He positioned himself, straddling Rhett. _I need you._

“Link.. what-” Rhett watched Link’s feral eyes traveling over him. His body responded to the familiar feeling of his lover against him, he hated himself for it, the man above him was a shell of himself, broken. _You’re taking advantage._ He tried to stop it but, he could feel his pants growing tight. _This isn’t the time-_ Rhett’s inner dialog was cut short; Link’s mouth was on his, greedy and wet.

“Mmmm…” His moans filled Rhett's mouth as he rocked his hips, grinding his ass against the growing erection below him. His hands grasped firmly into Rhett’s, uncharacteristically floppy, blond locks.

 _Stop him!_ Rhett willed himself to break the kiss, but he grabbed firmly onto the back of Link’s neck, deepening it instead. _You idiot!_ His free hand ran down the smaller man’s back, over his round ass, cupping it, groping it roughly. _You need to stop this... you need to..._ “Fuuuc…” he moaned.

Link pulled away, breathless. _I need this._

 _Get up!_ Rhett tried to pull himself up on his elbows.

Link pushed him back to the floor, his good hand pinning Rhett’s shoulder in place. _Help me forget._ His hands moved to Rhett’s belt, undoing it. His painful hand making it a chore.

“Link I think we should sto-” Rhett began to plead. _I don’t want you to stop._

“Shut up.” Link’s voice sounding detached. _Just shut up and make me forget...please._ He pulled the button of Rhett’s jeans free, yanking the zipper open roughly and palming Rhett through his briefs.

Rhett’s head fell back against the hard tile floor of the entry way. _Oh dear god, Link… I want you but..._ , he tried to control his rapidly accelerating heartbeat, _this is a mistake._ He grasped desperately at Link’s hips, rutting against him. _He will regret this. He will hurt. It will be your fault… again._

Link’s sore, broken hand wormed its way under Rhett’s t-shirt, grasping at his pecks and rubbing roughly at nipples. Each subtle movement of his busted appendage, a painful reminder of the night before. His wife's crying face flooded his mind. _No, no, no!_

 _You have to stop this!_ Rhett’s hips bucked.

Link's slipped his greedy hand under the waistband of Rhett’s thin cotton underwear, wrapping around the impressive girth he found there, attempting to drive Christy's pained expression from his mind. _I just want to forget!_ He began pumping Rhett, feeling him grow fully erect in his hand. _I need to forget._ He pulled his hand free of Rhett's shirt and grasped at his own hardness, as firmly as his injury would allow.

“Link…” Rhett groaned, tossing his head side to side. It felt too good. _You need to stop him, now!_ Rhett’s hands shot up grasping Link’s shoulders hard. “Link, stop!” He squirmed himself out from under the tenacious man. “Just stop.” Rhett pushed himself away, returning his swollen member to his now uncomfortably tight jeans.

Link sat still and silent on the floor, trailing his thumb and forefinger over his lower lip, averting his gaze from Rhett, gathering himself. His anger resurfacing quickly in the absence of distraction.

Rhett stood, brushing his hands over his disheveled clothing. He reached out to help Link to his feet.

Link felt a complicated flurry of emotions rushing through his veins. Hurt, lust, fear, rejection, anger, and sadness, all muddled together as he looked up at the man, now towering over him, hand outstretched. He slapped it away. “Isn’t this what you wanted, Rhett?” He sunk further into the floor, his hands falling pathetically to his sides, tears once again flooding his eyes. “You wanted me… You wanted me all to yourself!” His voice was desperate and breathy. “Well, here I am!” He gestured to his body emphatically as he began to laugh through his sobs, sounding almost maniacal now.

“Link...” Rhett couldn’t stand to see the man he loved so defeated, almost a stranger to him in this moment, “I want you.” Rhett tried to sound convincing, but his tone was riddled with concern making him sound uncertain, “Just not like this, not...” _when I know you will hate me for it._ "Just not…” _when you’re not… you._ He couldn’t say the words that filled his head.

“You took everything from me, and now you’re fucking rejecting me!?” Link's voice exploded, echoing around the room as he finally stood. _Fuck you!_ “Get the _hell_ out of my house Rhett!”

“But Link-” Rhett sputtered.

“I said...” Link slammed his palms against Rhett’s chest, knocking him backward. “Get out!” He grasped at his throbbing hand, wincing.

 _What have I done?_ Rhett stumbled backward. He wanted to say something but, the look in Link’s eyes was threatening and foreign. _You should not have come here. It's worse._ He turned, gripping the doorknob, pulling open the door and heading toward his car. He stopped. _Shit!_ “Link, the shoot...” he said, not daring to turn around, his eyes on the ground.

“I’ll be there,” Link said, slamming the door. He leaned against the back of it, staring blankly into the empty room. _Unlike you, I intend to keep my word._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 you all! Please don't hate me. This fic is burning me up on the inside. I need to get it out.
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Creep - Radio Head (this is a cover... but any non-radio edit)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbjfctkzcQM)


	4. I Know You Care

“Cut!” Stevie called, throwing off her headphones with an exasperated look on her face. “You guys!” She threw her hands in the air. “What the hell is going on with you two today?” She slapped her hands to her thighs in frustration as she approached them.

The two men stood in the white space. The lights were hot overhead. They were filming a segment for GMM. They had gotten behind in filming since beginning work on their new project and this needed to be completed for the episode airing the next day. Shot, edited, and spliced. Morgan needed the footage yesterday.

Rhett looked up at her; his gaze had been transfixed on the floor. “I’m sorry, Stevie,” he said, his voice catching in his throat.

Link scoffed loudly, shaking his head, his arms crossed over his chest. “You’re sorry…” he chided.

Stevie, sensing the obvious tension between them, excused the rest of the crew. “Guys, take five.” She shooed them into the hall. They looked confused and somewhat annoyed; this delay would mean a longer day.

Rhett turned his attention to Link, who was staring daggers into the opposing wall, unblinking. _Oh Link._ Rhett felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest seeing the pained expression on the face of the man that he loved so dearly.

“You’ve been sorry an awful lot lately, Rhett,” Link said through gritted teeth. He turned his head, fixing his glare on Rhett. “Fuck you and your bullshit apologies!” He yelled, shoving the larger man.

Rhett stumbled backward, but was otherwise unresponsive to Link’s outburst. _I wish he would just hit me._

“Seriously!” Stevie stepped between them, a hand on each of their chests. “First, Link comes in here with a broken hand and no explanation for it,” she said gesturing to his now bandaged wound. “You guys can’t even look at each other.” She dropped her hands from them. “And now this?” She hung her head.

 _She’s right, get it together!_ Rhett stared down at his feet, he couldn’t meet either of their eyes with his own. “Stevie, I’m sor-”

Link’s entire body began to vibrate with rage, _I swear to God! Don’t say it!_ “I can’t fucking take this!” he screamed, turning from them, folding his hands behind his head and tossing it back, staring into the set lights.

“Link…” Rhett took step around Stevie, who was bewildered and still, and approached Link. He leaned in closely but not touching, not wanting to aggravate the situation. “Don’t do this here… not here,” he whispered into the shorter man’s ear in a pleading tone, standing behind him. _I know you hate me but, not here._

Link took a few deep breaths, attempting to calm himself. _He’s right, this is unprofessional, unfair._ “Fine.” Link was determined to get through this, not to let what had happened destroy the only thing he had left, the only thing remaining with some semblance of order, certainty, in his mess of a life.

”Good… yeah, okay.” Rhett was surprised by how easily Link had been defused, it concerned him. _That should have been harder._ He wanted to reach out and grasp Link’s shoulder, turn him so that he could look him in his bright blue eyes, the eyes that always provided a window to his true feelings. Rhett longed to see them now. _I need to see them._

“Stevie,” he said, not taking his eyes off of Link. “Can you give us a minute?” Rhett said calmly, trying to maintain a professional tone.

She sighed in frustration.

”No! Stevie, stay.” Link turned to her. _Don’t leave me here with him._

Rhett turned to her, raising his eyebrows, wordlessly begging.

She huffed in frustration, but concern was evident on her face. “Whatever.” She snatched up her clipboard and tromped to the door. She turned to them, shaking her head before slamming her back into the crash-bar of the steel door and entering the hallway, leaving the two men, alone, under the hot white lights.

Rhett spoke as the door clicked shut, “Link, are you sure –” he began before Link spoke over him.

“I can do this,” he said, more to himself than Rhett. _I think._ He felt his stomach knotting up.

“Because we can figure something out, reschedule, call it off–” Rhett soothed, putting his hand on Link’s broad shoulder. _You shouldn’t touch him._

 _I wish I could let you leave it there._ “I said…” Link reached for Rhett’s hand, shoving it off roughly. “I said I’m fine, Rhett.” Link's tone was calm but, his mind was clouded with emotion. _I’m not. I’m broken. I’m dying._ He blinked rapidly, trying to contain the burgeoning tears from flowing. _I don’t think I can do this._ He rubbed his eyes, inhaling deeply. _You have to do this._ “Stevie!” he called, knowing she was likely waiting just outside.

Rhett stepped back.

The door opened, slowly at first, as Stevie peeked in.

 _Okay…_ Rhett silently resigned himself, _okay, Link._ He nodded to Stevie and beckoned her with his hand.

”Guys!” she called into the hallway. “Let’s go!” She strode back inside, pausing as she passed them. “You’re sure everything’s alright?” She directed the question to Rhett, since Link only seemed interested in making eye contact with his feet.

Rhett nodded, stepping back to his mark.

Link followed, taking his place next to the taller man. He took a deep breath and painted as convincing a smile as he could manage across his face.

Rhett turned, feeling his heart break as he took in the false smile. It stopped short of his eyes, convincing but, Rhett knew better, a façade, nothing more. _You did this._ He wished he could rewind! Go back to the night before, to their office, to hear Link laughing and teasing. If he could only take back the words that started this mess. 

_Don’t lie to yourself. Going back wouldn’t change anything. You would just fuck it up all over again._ He had to look away from the man next to him, the man that he loved, the man that he’d ruined, before he collapsed under the weight of his guilt.

“Alright everyone!” Stevie gathered the attention of the crew. “Quiet on set.” She looked over to them once more, her eyebrows arched in question.

Rhett nodded in response, rolling his neck and shrugging his shoulders. _Just get through it._

Link shook his limbs, trying to loosen up. _Just focus._ He inhaled sharply, letting out a loud sigh. _You can do this._

“Action!” Stevie called out. The prompter began to run. Link had the first line.

“You wanted it,” Link chirped.

“And we’ve got it!” Rhett finished the sentence, bugging his eyes and mugging for the camera.

“Who need’s Google when you’ve got the two of us?” Link teased, turning to Rhett, smiling and jabbing him with his elbow. _You can do this._

”That’s right Link! Google might be able to give you 43,000 results in 0.2 seconds, but can it answer the age old question that plagues us all?”

“Will It Dodge Ball!?” they said in unison.

\---------------

The lights went down in the studio, Link stood under them as they gave off the last of their glow, staring up at the ceiling. He had asked to be left alone when the shoot was over. Rhett had left first, making some excuse about an important call. _Bunch of bullshit._ Link was just glad to be alone. The day had pushed him to the precipice of insanity. He had been so excited about this shoot the day before, to play, to joke, to relax with Rhett but, everything had gone so wrong. It felt almost like a dream, a nightmare.

He stood a while longer, but the absence of sound and visual stimulus was allowing his mind to wander, to dwell. He headed into the hallway, walking by Morgan’s editing suit, the man sat hunched over the footage they had shot. He stood in the doorway watching. _We actually look happy._ Link watched Rhett’s lanky body bopping around on the screen, attempting to dodge the balloons full of ketchup being launched him. He felt the corner of his mouth turn up for a moment.

“Looks good, Morgan," Link said quietly, sounding despondent.

Morgan jumped in surprise, throwing off his headphones and spinning in his chair. “Oh, Link. I thought you’d left.” He adjusted his headphone-disheveled hair. “No plans with the wife tonight?” Morgan teased.

Link took in a sharp breath, closing his eyes and clenching his fists. _Breathe…_ “Uh, no… not… not tonight,” Link managed. “I’ll see you later…” he said, turning to leave, not waiting for a response.

Morgan shrugged, sliding back on his headphones and returning to his work.

Link felt like he was going to faint, his breathing growing ever more erratic as he stumbled down the hallway. Morgan’s words had torn through him, ripping open the wound that had been festering since his wife had walked out of his life, since everything he held dear had been ripped from his grasp. His lungs refused to fill with air, he was suffocating. _I can’t breathe!_ He stumbled, growing weaker with each step. _What’s happening to me?_ He pushed open the bathroom door, falling into the counter reaching desperately for the faucet. His head felt like it was buzzing, his vision blurring, he felt like he was going to be sick. Fear, anxiety, desperation, panic. He grabbed hold of the tap handle, water began to pour from it, running into his palms before he splashed it over his face. _It’s not helping._ He was ready to give in to it, to collapse and let it take him, when he heard a sound traveling down the hall, permeating the walls around him. _Music?_ He turned off the water.

Link’s heart rate slowed as he tried to decipher what he was hearing. He pushed open the bathroom door, the panic fading, curiosity taking its place. As he moved into the hallway the obscure sound he’d heard in the bathroom came into focus. A guitar. _Rhett._ The sound was coming from their office, Link could see that the door was slightly ajar, the music seeping out and filling the empty halls.

“Clinging to me.” Rhett’s soft baritone voice joined the plaintive chords, “like a last breath you would breathe.” His voice sounded beautiful and pained. “You were like home to me. I don’t recognize the street.”

Link leaned against the wall next to the door, collapsing his weight against it.

“Please don’t close your eyes,” the tortured voice continued. “Don’t know where to look without them,” hitching. “Outside the cars speed by. I never heard them until now.”

_So beautiful._

“I know you care,” his voice in full body once more.

 _I do._ Link felt like the world had stopped spinning.

“I know it has always been there. But there’s trouble ahead, I can feel it,” faltering again. “You are just saving yourself when you hide it.” The guitar stopped for just a moment, Rhett’s voice catching.

Link’s hand came up to cover his mouth, his eyes burning as tears began to form.

The guitar continued. “Yeah, I know you care, I see it in the way that you stare.”

Link’s weight became too much for his legs to support and he collapsed to the floor, crouched against the wall.

“As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it,” louder now. “I’ll be saving myself from the ruin, and I know you care.”

Link felt like a thousand pieces of glass were burrowing their way into his skin, it was on fire. He longed to get up, to go to the crooning man just feet away but he couldn’t gather the strength necessary to pull his weak body from the floor.

“I used to run down the stairs, to the door and I thought you were there.” Warm loving words continued flowing from their office. “To give shape to the comfort of us, two lovers locked out of love.”

The words stung, ringing so true that they pierced his heart. _I love you._

“Oh, but I know you care. I know it has always been there.”

Link pulled his knees to his chest, trying to control his breathing, to hold in his tears. _I’m so tired of crying._

“But there’s trouble ahead I can feel it, you were just saving yourself when you hide it.”

_I’m so sorry we had to hide._

“Yeah, I know you care. I see it in the way that you stare.” The normally confident voice sounded a pale version of itself, grief-stricken and forlorn. “As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it, I’ll be saving myself from the ruin.” The voice was muffled a moment, as if through cloth.

Link felt frozen in place.

“I know it wasn’t always wrong,” the vocal now full of agony. “But I’ve never known a winter so cold. No I don’t warm my hands in your coat, but I still hope.”

All of Link’s anger was melting away, he felt like he was being purged by the gentle sound of this secret serenade.

“‘Cause this is how things, ought to have been and I know the worst of it wasn’t all that it seemed.” The guitar fell silent. “Why can’t I dream… why can’t I dream?” A short pause.

 _Go to him!_ Link gathered what strength remained inside of him and slid up the wall, pushing himself from it and moving to stand in front of the door.

The guitar sounded loudly from the room once more. “‘Cause I know you care, and I know you care.” The words were sobs. “I know you care… I know you care.”

Link pushed on the agape door, and it swung open slowly, revealing Rhett’s trembling frame seated on the couch hunched over his guitar, tears flowing. Link’s body in the doorway cast a shadow over him.

Noticing the change in light, Rhett looked up. “I know it’s always been there.”

_And always will be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to: @rhettyandlinkipoo and @mythicalea on Tumblr for encouraging me to keep going with this emotionally charged work. <3
> 
> This chapter features the lyrics of Ellie Goulding - "I Know You Care".
> 
> UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that there is an ["I Know You Care (Rhink)"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quLzihAOxxI) video on YouTube. Created by a fellow shipper (mythical-rhink). A Rhinky coincidence that is simply amazing. Please check it out. It makes a great companion to this chapter.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading :)  
> <3 RTR
> 
>  
> 
> **My Cover:**  
> [I Know You Care](http://remembertherandler.tumblr.com/post/144513643740/forgive-us-our-trespasses-has-been-a-hell-of-a)


	5. Words Unspoken

Rhett stared at the figure standing in the doorway, obscured by the bright light coming in from the hall. He squinted through his tear dampened eyes to get a clearer view. _Link?_ He placed the guitar next to him on the couch.

Link stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it with his hands behind his back. _Rhett, I love you. I heard you. I do care, more than you know._ He was silent. His eyes traveled to the chair in the corner where Jade and Barbara lay sleeping.

 _Link._ Rhett shuffled in his seat, his instinct willing him to get up, to cross the room and wrap Link in his arms. He resisted. _No. Give him space._

Link opened his mouth to speak, before closing it again and biting at his lower lip. _Just say something!_ He looked away from Rhett for the first time since he entered the room. He sighed heavily, frustrated with himself for his silence. _Rhett needs you._

 _Screw this!_ Rhett jolted to his feet, stepping over the coffee table with ease. _No, you don’t get to decide this for him, remember?_ He stopped in the middle of the room, his legs shaky.

Rhett’s sudden movement caused Link to recoil into the door in surprise.

_He’s not ready._

Rhett’s shoulders slumped, his gaze dropping to the floor. _He shouldn't be ready._ He sighed, turning toward their desks to gather his things and leave Link in peace. 

Seeing Rhett turn his back to him spurred him to action. He pushed himself from the door, closing the space between them rapidly. _Don’t go._ He grasped firmly onto Rhett’s shoulder with his good hand.

Rhett inhaled sharply at the feeling of Link's touch. The grip was firm, but tender, familiar. His eyes closed and tipped his head sideways to rest on Link’s hand. A contented sound escaped his lips. _Is this real?_

Link inhaled deeply, taking his first real breath in what felt like an eternity. Rhett’s beard tickled the skin on his hand. _It’s okay._ He pulled backward on the taller man’s shoulder, encouraging him to turn. _Look at me, Rhett._

Rhett didn’t resist the gentle pull. He turned. Link was only inches away, a soft, almost serene, look on his face. A look he’d feared he would never see again. _Link, I love you._ His eyes moved slowly back and forth between Link’s. _So beautiful._

Link could feel the heat of Rhett’s body radiating from him. The corner of his mouth turned up into a weak smile. _It’s okay. We’ll get through this._ Link reached up, cupping Rhett’s face. _It’s okay._

Rhett eyes closed as he nuzzled into Link’s large hand. _Can we get through this?_

He couldn’t stop the smile crept across his face, couldn’t help feeling warmed to his very core, with Link’s soft touch on his skin.

 _There’s my Rhett._ Link raised his bandaged hand, placing it gingerly against Rhett’s other cheek. _I’m sorry for putting all of this on you._ He moved to press himself closer to the man he held. _It wasn’t fair._ He rubbed his thumbs gently against the soft skin of Rhett’s face.

Link’s gentle touch felt like an admission, a silent apology. _No, it’s my fault._ His smile faded. _I did this, not you._

Link watched the smile disappear from the man he held. _Stop it, Rhett._ He gripped more firmly to the man’s face. _I shouldn’t have let you carry this alone._

Feeling the change in Link’s grip on him, Rhett opened his eyes, meeting Link’s penetrating gaze. _You shouldn’t forgive me._ A tear escaped from his eye, rolling down his face until Link wiped it away. He tried to free himself from Link’s grasp. _I won’t let you forgive me for this._

Link held firm. _Don’t push me away._

Rhett wanted more than anything to allow himself to feel comforted and forgiven, but seeing Link staring up at him, his eyes soft and caring, even after all that had happened, left him feeling as if he was crumbling to dust. _I don’t deserve you._

Feeling desperate, seeing Rhett’s trepidation growing with each passing second, Link pulled the man’s face to his own. Their lips met and Link felt almost whole again, the nagging pit in his stomach shrinking. _It’s okay, Rhett._ He ran his tongue over Rhett’s mouth, an attempt to deepen the kiss. _Let me in._

Link’s mouth against his was like a match, Rhett’s whole body felt like it might go up in flames. _Link…_ The shorter man’s tongue teased against his lips, begging entry. _You deserve better._ He parted his lips slightly, bringing one hand to the back of Link’s head, the other resting hesitantly against the small of his back.

 _It’s going to be alright. I’ll show you._ He dropped his right hand from Rhett’s face reaching it around and grasping the one that rested on his back. He slid it down until it was cupping his ass.

Rhett squeezed reflexively, Link’s body was so familiar to him. _You deserve more than someone who breaks their word,_ his small tongue darted into Link's eager mouth, _who expected to be forgiven after a simple sorry,_ his hand gripped tightly at the dark locks near the nape of Link's neck, _who is willing to take from you now, what he doesn't deserve._ He broke their kiss, pulling back and resting his chin against Link's forehead.

 _Rhett don't._ Link grasped his face again, trying to pull him back down.

Rhett's hands gripped Link's wrists, stilling them. _Don't make this harder._

Link struggled against the grip on him. _Rhett, please!_ He began to thrash.

Rhett finally broke the silence between them. "Stop," he said calmly, pressing his lips into Link's hair.

Still fighting hard to free himself, Link felt his eyes beginning to sting, tears were coming. _No!_ He fought harder.

Rhett's resolve was wearing thin, he needed to end this. _I won't let you cheapen yourself for me._ "Link, stop!" He yelled. Rhett felt him go rigid in his hands before all of the strength seemed to disappear in an instant. He relinquished his grip, taking a step backward.

Link's arms fell to his sides. His head hung for a moment before he collapsed to his knees, his face in his hands. "Rhett..." The name caught in his throat. "Why?" He looked up from his hands, meeting Rhett's gaze.

Rhett felt a pang in his heart, like a cold blade running through it. _Because I love you._ He knew those words would only make it worse. "Because you shouldn't forgive me, I don't deserve it!" Rhett turned away, unable to look at Link any longer.

 _Make him understand._ "Rhett, I was stupid," Link reasoned, still kneeling on the floor. "Thinking I could have it all, not willing to make a choice." His voice was growing louder, an edge of anger detectable to a trained ear. "I forced your hand by denying you what you deserved."

Link's words gnawed at what little of his resolve remained.

Link got to his feet, walking to Rhett and encircling him in his arms. "You are everything to me," he said, resting his cheek against Rhett's back. "And I made you feel like nothing." He kissed between Rhett's shoulder blades. "Don't blame yourself for my mistakes." He turned the man in his arms, looking into his unsure and doubting eyes. "They are mine. Let me own them."

"Link... I..." Rhett felt himself give way, Link's words soothing the aching wounds on his soul. _Okay, Link_ "Link, I lov-" a ringing phone interrupted, Link's phone.

Link recognized the ringtone. _Christy!_ Without thinking he dropped his hands from Rhett, reached into his pocket, pulled his phone free, and answered the call. "Hello?" He said tentatively. His wife's voice came through.

**"Link, I'm only calling to tell you that we made it to Kinston."**

"Christy-" He was cut short.

**"Your parents have been asking about you. Should I tell them, or would you like that honour?"**

Her voice cut through him. _I have to tell my family... my father._ "No, I will tell them." He felt sick.

**"Good."**

"Christy, can I speak to the ki-"

She hung up.

Link's hand dropped from his ear, limp. His phone slipped from his hand, falling to the floor.

Rhett took in the image of Link, broken again. _You did this._ The guilt and the resolve built in him again. _He deserves better._ He snatched his coat from the arm of the couch, collected Barbara from the chair, and walked out of the office. The lights of the hall were bright and nagging. He shielded his eyes as he headed for the exit. He pushed open the door to the parking lot and the cool evening air washed over him.

Link's mind was clouded, he felt like he'd been stricken blind and deaf. He stood motionless. A small bark from Jade shook him from his stupor, he turned to find the office empty, with the exception of Jade, who sitting up in the chair. _Oh no!_ "Rhett!" he called, jogging into the hallway. He heard the door to the parking lot click shut. _No!_ He ran for the door.

Rhett got into his car, falling back against the seat, before he began slamming his fists into the steering wheel. He gripped it hard, gathering himself. _Get out of here! Just drive away now!_ He turned the key in the ignition as he saw Link pushing open the door. _Don't let him stop you!_ He threw the car in reverse and pulled out of the lot.

Link ran toward him, waving wildly. "Rhett! No!" He watched helplessly as Rhett drove away. _Come back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I could bake you all cookies and wrap you in blankets, I would. *Hugs*
> 
> Message/Ask on Tumblr, I love to chat with readers.
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Lies - Glen Hansard](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p9rzjbCaIc)  
> [Alex Dezen (The Damnwells) - None of These Things](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EkRmNhiY90)


	6. Distance

"Goddamnit, Rhett!" Link threw his hands in the air, grasped at his hair, pacing a moment before running back to the door. He pulled the handle. Locked. _Shit!_ He shook the door in its hinges. "Morgan!" He hollered, beating on the door with his good hand, it too beginning to hurt. _Fuck!_ "Morgan!" he hollered, desperate and on the edge of reason.

The door gave way under his fists, Morgan held it open, looking at Link, concern and worry evident on his face. "Link, what the hell?"

Link pushed past him, bumping his shoulder, and headed for the office. He ignored Morgan's question. _Jade, keys, phone..._. He was frantic.

Morgan followed after him, trying to keep pace. "Link, seriously... what is going on with you?"

"Nothing!" Link snapped as he pushed into his office.

Morgan came to halt just outside the door, remaining in the hallway.

 _Apologize._ "Look, Morgan, I'm sorry." _Where the hell are my keys!?_ He spun around, finally spotting them on his desk. He grabbed them and plucked his phone from the floor before turning, his eyes fell on the forgotten guitar. _Rhett..._ "I don't have time to explain. I need to go." Jade had jumped down and now stood at his feet, he picked her up, tucking her under his arm. "I'm sorry." He moved to the door.

Morgan, who stood clutching either side of the door frame released his grip and turned to the side, clearing a path. His expression that of confusion.

Link headed back to the parking lot without another word. He climbed into his car, sliding the key into ignition, and shifting into reverse before he realized he didn't have a plan. He sat with his foot on the break. _How am I going to find him?_ He drummed his fingers on the wheel, tossing his head back to the seat. _Just drive! You can think while you drive!_ He lifted his foot and backed out onto the road, heading in the direction Rhett had only minutes ago.

Link's phone rang, startling him, he swerved, eliciting a honk from the driver in the adjacent lane. "Fuck off!" He honked back. He fumbled in his jacket pocket for his phone, it was his generic ring tone, so he knew it wasn't Christy or Rhett. He finally freed it from his pocket and looked down at the illuminated screen. _Stevie._ He briefly considered ignoring the call before deciding against it and sliding to accept. He set it on his lap, turning on speakerphone. "Hello?"

**"Link... Link, it's Stevie." ******

Link rolled his eyes, "I have caller I.D. Stevie, what do you want?" He knew he should be trying to control his temper. None of this was her fault. _Don't be an asshole!_

**"Look Link, I don't know what is going on between you and Rhett right now, and I'm not sure that it is any of my business but, he just showed up here."**

_He's at Stevie's!_ His eyes darted back and forth taking in his surroundings, he was headed in the wrong direction to get there. He searched for a place to turn around. "I'm coming! Just don't let him lea-"

 **"He's gone, Link,"** she interjected. **"He called and asked if we would look after Barbara."**

 _What the hell is he doing?_ "Stevie, did he say anything else?" Link felt his heartbeat quickening and sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. "Did he say where he was going?"

 **"No, he didn't."**

Link felt himself deflate, his only lead slipping away.

**"He told me he would back Sunday night, that's it."**

Link was silent. _What am I going to do now? Where would he go? Think!_

Stevie inhaled loudly before speaking. **"I know it is not my place, but, whatever is going on with you two, you can sort it out."**

Link held his eyes closed a moment, rubbing them with his thumb and forefinger under his glasses. He sighed.

 **"Link, you can."** Her words were pure, compassionate, and loving.

Link felt like someone had punched him in the chest and he suddenly couldn't breathe. _You don't know that!_ He couldn't speak. _You don't know anything!_ He signaled to pull off the road. _Everything is different now. Ruined._ The thought of living the rest of his life without Rhett, without his family, overwhelmed him. He couldn't take a breath, he felt like someone had a grip on his throat and was choking the life out of him. He pulled the car to the curb.

**"Link?"**

His phone fell to the floor, he grasped at his throat in an attempt to remove the invisible hands he was sure he would feel. Everything around him began to shift out of focus, blur into darkness. He closed his eyes and was greeted by Rhett's smiling face. He heard the music that had pulled him from these same depths, only an hour ago, filling his head. _Rhett, I love you._ Link felt the grip on his throat loosen. _I love you._ Rhett's face faded away. He opened his eyes. He was suddenly hit with a violent wave of nausea. He ripped his seat belt away before opening the driver door and spilling into the street, a car swerved around him as the driver hurled expletives and laid on his horn.

 **"Link!"** Stevie's voice sounded faintly from behind him.

Link crawled in front of the car, clamoring for the curb. He gripped firmly before violently retching. He hadn't eaten in nearly a day. Yellow bile poured out burning and stinging. He dry heaved a few times before rolling over and seating himself on the curb, his head hanging, his arms draped lazily over his knees.

"You okay, Man." A passerby had stopped, concerned by the sight of the man in front of him.

"Uh, yeah... yeah. I'm fine." Link gestured the man to move along. "Just car sick," he lied, as he tried to spit the taste from his mouth.

"Alright, whatever you say, Dude." He slid his headphones over his ears and continued down the sidewalk.

Link wiped his lips with his sleeve, swallowing the sour flavour in his mouth. He rose from the curb, walked to his car, and climbed back in the driver seat. Jade looked at him, her head cocked to the side before hoping from the passenger seat to his lap. _Sweet thing._ He picked up his phone from the floor, the call was no longer connected. The only notification, a text message alert from Stevie.

**What ever is going on, let me help! Call me back!**

_You can't help me,_ he scoffed at the message, _I'm not sure anyone can. I have to do this alone._ He took a deep breath, his mind poured over the events of the last two days, everything playing through his head, he winced and cowered as he relived each painful moment. He lingered on the memory of his phone call with Christy. _You have to tell your family._ He lifted his gaze to his reflection in the rear view mirror. _You need to go to North Carolina._

He was certain in his realization. _Give Rhett space. You won't find him until he wants you to anyway._ He turned the key in the ignition. _Get some distance._ He reached for his phone and typed out a text to Stevie.

 **I'm going to N.C. for the weekend. Will you watch Jade?** He felt guilty for even asking, but he knew Stevie would agree. His phone buzzed in his hand.

**Link, I'm not sure you should be leaving right now.**

_I don't care._ **Stevie, will you?** A few moments passed before his screen lit up.

**Yes.**

He shoved his phone in his pocket, placed Jade on the passenger seat, and pulled back onto the road.

\---------------

Link sat in his uncomfortable seat, crammed against the window of the plane. He looked out at the endless expanse of farm country, like a patchwork quilt of greens, browns, and yellows, that covered the ground below. _Home._ A smile crept onto his face. He generally missed this view, since he slept through most of his flights but, he knew that the next couple of days would be some of the hardest in his life, and he'd been unable to sleep. The ground grew closer. Though he feared what lay ahead when he departed this flight, he couldn't help but feel comforted by the thought of being back, back in place where everything had been easier, simpler. A voice came over the P.A.

***Attention Passengers, we are preparing to make our descent into the Raleigh-Durham International Airport. Please fasten your seat belts and return your trays to the upright position and thank you for flying with us today***

Link didn't mind flying, but the landing was always his least favorite part and he rarely flew alone. In fact, his usual travel companion on flights like these was Rhett. _I wish you were here._ He looked to the seat that Rhett would normally occupy, hoping to see the tall man, one leg crammed into the back of the seat in front of him, the other jutting out into the aisle. Instead, he was presented with a glasses-wearing elderly man, his mouth hanging open and drool spilling out onto his shoulder. He smiled. _That's me in thirty years._

He looked out the window, the ground was rapidly approaching, he braced himself. The plane stuttered as the landing gear hit the ground, his seat rumbled beneath him and he gripped the armrest of his chair. They slowed and began to taxi toward the gate, coming to a halt, the seat belt light went out.

Link reached down and uncliped himself, feeling instantly relieved and free. He was anxious to get off the plane and stepped awkwardly over the now conscious but confused gentleman in his way. He had only his carry-on and knew he would be avoiding baggage claim. He hit a snag in the aisle and felt himself growing frustrated. _Get out of the way!_ His anxiety was building. Someone's bag was stuck in the overhead compartment and several people had joined in effort to free it. _Oh, for God's sake!_ He pushed forward, reaching for the stuck bag. "Here, let me help," he said as he grasped it firmly before yanking it free.

"Uh, thanks!" the appreciative young woman chimed.

He nodded, flashing a false smile before sitting the bag down and jutting his hand forward to part the crowd. When his typical hand-plow failed, he employed the 'butt-touch' method. It garnered him a few glares, but he was making progress. He smiled at the memory of the day they filmed the episode of GMM where they had shared their epiphany with the internet. _Triple threat position..._ His mouth turned up into a small smirk. Rhett had been so silly and openly handsy on camera. Link recalled reprimanding him for it after filming but, regretted it with every part of himself now.

 _You're an idiot. You made him feel guilty, and for what?_ It hadn't been the only time, he'd always been so preoccupied with how their touches would be perceived by the audience, that he never saw how much it hurt Rhett when he shrugged away, made snide comments, or rubbed the transgressions in his face. _He deserves better than you._

Link managed to squeeze by the remaining passengers, exiting the plane, passing through the jetway and into the terminal. Feeling some of the weight lift from him in the more open space. He shook his head, trying to temporarily erase the thoughts of Rhett. _You're not here for Rhett._

He breezed through security with only minimal hassle before passing by the endless sea of airport kiosks and vendors. He stopped only to get coffee before finally making his way outside. He closed his eyes, the feeling of the sun on his face soothed him. He filled his lungs with the fresh, familiar North Carolina, air. He exhaled slowly. _Home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for you comments, kudos, and encouragement. I cannot express how much they mean. 
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Dotan - Home II](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTVKeVReIgc&list=LLsPQA5b3Z2PunnuKxgolHLA&index=38)


	7. Recollections

Rhett stood in the small gravel driveway, his eyes heavy with lack of sleep. It had been nearly two days since he’d managed to close his eyes and rest. He looked up at the small white house sitting back from the road. It was surrounded by a well manicured lawn and flower beds, the newly burgeoning spring flushing them with colour. He looked back over his shoulder at the sign that marked the end of the driveway. **_‘McLaughlin’._**

 _I don’t think I can do this._ He turned back to face the house, taking a few small tentative steps forward before stopping. _I shouldn’t have come here._

\---------------

Rhett sped away from the studio, images of Link filling his mind. _I can’t stay here._ Rhett’s foot hung heavy on the gas pedal and his speed increased. _I have nowhere to go even if I wanted to stay._ He couldn’t go home, _Jessie won’t even answer my texts_ , he couldn’t go back to the studio, not after that. _Go back to him!_. He punched his thigh hard, probably leaving a bruise. _You can’t go back there._ He felt like a lost boy on a school field trip calling for his mother. His heart leapt in his chest. _Buies Creek._ He felt like a small light had been turned on in the darkness of his broken soul. He’d decided. _Home._

\---------------

Rhett could see his mother standing in the kitchen window, likely huddled over a load of dishes. She was laughing. He smiled at the scene. He watched as his father approached her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her cheek. They were happy. He dropped his gaze to the ground. _I can’t do this._ He brought his hands to his hair, tugging it. _This will kill them._ His mother and father had always been supportive, but they were traditional and expected a lot of their son. _What am I going to say? ‘Hey Mom! Hey Dad! I just popped by to tell you that my wife kicked me out, that I may never see my kids again and, oh yeah, I’ve been sleeping with Link for the better part of a decade.’_ He scoffed at himself. _Coming here was a mistake._ He turned, heading back to the rental car that he’d parked on the side of the road, when he heard a screen door opening behind him.

“Rhett?”

He turned at the familiar sound of his father’s voice. He nearly burst into tears just looking at the man.

“Rhett, what are you doing here!?” He was excited and gleeful as he approached him.

“Dad,” Rhett managed, though his voice was shaky. “I’m just in town for the weekend, I’m sorry I didn’t call first.” He looked down at his feet as his father came to stand in front of him.

“Nonsense!” His father reached, beckoning him into a hug. He patted his back roughly. “It’s good to see you Son.” He broke the hug, taking a step back and looked Rhett up and down. “You’re looking skinny Boy!” He teased, nudging him in the shoulder with his fist.

Rhett smiled weakly, stumbling back.

”Now come on inside, your mother is going to be so excited to see you.” He draped his arm over Rhett’s shoulder, and began to lead him to the house. “Link in town as well?”

Rhett’s stomach did a somersault. _Link…._ He stopped, planting his feet firmly to the ground. “I’m sorry.” He shrugged off his father’s embrace. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay.” _I’m not ready._

The man looked confused and slightly irritated. He opened his mouth to speak, but Rhett beat him to it.

“Look, Pops.” He took a few steps backward toward his car. “I’m sorry,” he stammered, stalling, trying to come up with a convincing lie. “I… I uh, I forgot that I have a meeting, in the city,” he said, gesturing and rolling his eyes, trying to convey his false memory lapse.

“Rhett…” His father’s face was contorted, concerned, and skeptical.

 _Lie better!_ “I’ve got to meet Link.” His voice caught as the name tripped over his tongue. He felt a shiver run down his spine. “In Raleigh. I’m sorry.” _I wish you were here..._ He patted his father’s shoulder before turning to jog back to his car. He stumbled as he climbed into the driver seat, cramming himself into the too-small sedan. He turned to see his father, standing motionless in the driveway. _I’m sorry._ He waved weakly, started the car and sped off, sending dust from the shoulder of the road flying in the air behind him.

 _I should never have come here!_ He sped down the narrow country road, trees whipped by the window. _What did I think? That coming here was going to magically fix everything?_ He made a sharp right turn onto an even narrower dirt road, dust flew from his wheels. _Idiot._ He switched off the air conditioning and rolled down the window, the warm air blowing his hair and stinging his eyes. _You’re going to have to tell them, so figure it out!_ He’d been so preoccupied by his thoughts and self-hatred that he hadn’t realized where he was. He was approaching a familiar place. A place he could never forget.

Ahead of him was a sharp, nearly ninety-degree turn in the road. He smiled. He pressed on the break, pulling off to the side of the road. _The turn that wrecked us both._ He unclipped his seat belt and got out of the car. He leaned against it and kicked at the dirt beneath his feet as he recalled his minor accident in the very spot.

He and Link were taking a drive in his newly acquired Dodge Dynasty, that they'd affectionately referred to as, 'Nasty'. He’d underestimated the severity of the turn and the car spun out of control, ripping one of the tires from the rim. _We were so scared…._ This event, though traumatic at the time, was now a fond memory. Made even more so because, not a year later, Link had tipped his truck in the ditch trying to make the exact same turn. He closed his eyes and let himself drift back to the warm summer afternoon. 

\---------------

“Wooooo!” Link called as the truck bounced over the hills and valleys of the newly plowed field.

“Floor it, Link!” Rhett yelled, slapping Link across his bare chest, holding on the holy-shit handle with his other hand. “Woohoo!” he howled.

“I love this freakin’ truck, Dude!” Link turned, smiling at him, his eyes bright and happy.

 _Dang._ Rhett shook his head. “This is the funnest thing I’ve ever done in my Life!”

Link reached his hand out for a high-five

Rhett slapped it hard, laughing. He looked down at the clock in the dash. _No._ It was due time they got back, his parents would be expecting him home for dinner. He frowned.

Link eyed him suspiciously. “What’s up, Bo?” he said as he slowed the truck to a stop, shifting it into park and turning to face Rhett.

”It’s just,” Rhett gestured toward the clock. “We oughtta be gettin’ back.” _I’d rather stay._

“Oh.” Link looked disappointed. “Yeah… I guess so.” He dropped his gaze to his lap. He sat silent a moment before looking back up at Rhett, a mischievous grin on his face.

Rhett knew that look. _What have you got up your sleeve, Neal?_ He raised his eyebrow.

Link laughed. “I was just thinkin’... if we have to go, we can at least take the long way,” he winked.

Rhett smiled, shaking his head. _I love you._

Link pulled out of the field and back onto the dirt road, really giving it the gas. He turned on the car radio and Merle Haggard’s voice filled the air.

Rhett smiled, placing his face in the breeze coming in his window. _I don’t think I’ve ever been happier._ He was startled out of his revelry by a sharp gasp next to him. Rhett looked out the window and saw the cause. They were approaching **_the_** corner, as it had become known, from the opposite side.

”Oh shiiii…” Link gritted his teeth as he cranked the wheel hard, in an attempt to avoid Rhett’s mistake of locking the breaks. The truck began making the turn.

 _That was close._ The truck’s right wheels lifted from the ground and it toppled gently into the ditch. _Oh shit._ Rhett’s body collided with Link’s, he lay pressed against his friends bare skin.

Link looked up at him, wide-eyed and stunned, their faces mere inches apart. Link’s eyes darted back and forth between Rhett’s.

Rhett bit at his lower lip. _What is happening?_ Before he could stop himself he was pressing his lips to Link’s.

Link gasped, but didn’t move.

 _What are you doing?_ Rhett pulled away, it was over in an instant.

\---------------

 _Our first kiss._ Rhett ran his forefinger over his lips. He mouth turned up into a lazy smile. It had been a silly mistake, adrenaline and fear induced insanity. The two had never spoken of it again, like a silent agreement had been struck. There were moments while in college that Rhett thought the wall might come down, but their relationship remained unchanged. Until a late night in their dank basement studio in Lillington changed everything.

Rhett felt his pulse quicken. _Link._ He tipped his head back, the sun light, trickling down through the leaves of the tree overhead, danced on his face. _I wonder…_ He pushed off of the car, pulling the handle and clambering back in.

Rhett turned the car around and headed back into town. He drove past the the small shop where he’d met Link on his bike as a child, and past the elementary school where they had met. As he passed over the Cape Fear River, brown with sediment, heading for Lillington, he recalled the endless summer afternoons he spent with Link, swimming and playing. Each landmark he passed triggered a flood of memories, stirring up a complicated mixture of emotions. Happiness and joy, while recalling his past; guilt, for his deception and dishonesty; fear, of what the future would hold; and longing, for Link.

Rhett pulled up in front of the house, it hadn’t changed, with the exception of the ‘For Sale’ sign that adorned the lawn. He got out of the car and sauntered to the end of the walkway. The front door opened and a women stepped out facing the door, locking it before turning to face him.

“Oh,” she gestured emphatically. “Are you here for the open house?” She walked toward him smiling, her hand outstretched.

Rhett reached for it, shaking it weakly.

“Look, you just missed it but, I tell you what.” She held her hand to her face, talking out of the side of her mouth, feigning secrecy. “You go on in.” She handed him the keys. “Just leave the keys in the lock box there by the door,” she winked heading for her car.

Rhett looked down at the keys in his hand. He had come here hoping for just a glimpse at this place, the place where he and Link had shared one of their formative intimate moments, now he held the keys in his hand. _Just go in._

He walked slowly to the front door, throwing the lock and pushing it open. He stared into the familiar foyer. He walked down the narrow hallway to the kitchen. He looked out the window over the sink into the backyard. He closed his eyes, flashes of his oldest child rolling in the grass played across them. He squinted hard, trying to erase the painful images. _Not now._ He had come here to recall a happy memory. He passed through the kitchen into the back porch. He placed his hand on the doorknob to the basement, turning it and descending into the familiar space.

He ducked his head as he neared the bottom of the narrow stairs. He flicked on the light and the fluorescent bulbs hummed to life. The back wall was still the same bright green it had been the last time he’d stood in this very spot. _No one painted over that?_ He walked slowly through the space and ran his hand along the bright paint. _I’m glad. _He turned and laid both of his palms against it. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift through the hazy memories of the hours he had spent in this basement with his best friend. The one he was searching for came into focus.__

\---------------

Link stood at the camera, fiddling with the settings and attempting to remove the memory card containing the footage they had just captured. A livecast. He was jabbering on about how he’d thought it went well and that he was excited to upload some of the content.

Rhett wasn’t listening, since they’d stopped filming his mind had been preoccupied, stuck in a memory the two had been recalling. Link’s accident on the mountains in Boone, when he’d broken his pelvis and sustained a pretty serious head injury. _I could have lost you._ Rhett winced again, seeing Link’s body flying though the air all over again in his mind.

“Rhett?” Link said, his tone conveying slight annoyance at being ignored.

Blinking rapidly, he pushed the images from his mind. “Uh, yeah?” he responded, sounding a little dazed. “I’m sorry, Link.”

“What is going on with you?” Link teased, elbowing him gently.

“It’s just…” He struggled to find the right words. “I don’t want you to think I thought it was all a joke,” he blurted out.

Link looked at him, puzzled. “What are you talking about?” he said as he began coiling up cable around his arm.

 _I’m talking about the fact that I just spent twenty minutes making light of the fact that you could have died, or never been you again._ “Your accident,” he said, staring down at the floor.

Link scoffed. “Rhett, it’s fine. That was years ago man.” He patted him on the shoulder and walked around the card table. “Besides, it was pretty hilarious,” he chortled.

Before Rhett knew what was happening his words were exploding out of him. “It’s not funny Link!” He rushed toward Link, placing his hands on Link’s broad shoulders and gripping tightly. “You could have been killed.”

Link pulled his face away, shocked by Rhett’s sudden outburst. “Rhett, calm down and stop exaggerating,” he said as he attempted to shrug free of Rhett's grasp.

 _Don’t you understand?_ “Link,” he said, forcing his friend to make eye contact. “Do you have any idea how scared I was?” He released Link’s shoulders, but remained close.

Link swallowed hard, but did not step away. He was silent, aside from his now slightly labored breathing.

“You weren’t you… I thought you might never come back to me.” Rhett averted his eyes from Link’s penetrating blues.

“Rhett, don’t wor-” Link tried to interject.

“Do you know why Will went to see you first that night?” Rhett asked, not actually waiting for a response. He continued. “Because I was cowering in the bathroom, sobbing and weeping like a fucking child!” He turned from Link, facing the brightly painted green wall. “I didn’t want you to see me like that, even if you wouldn’t remember.” He rested his palms on the wall, leaning forward and hanging his head. “I didn’t let the nurses tell you but, I stayed with you all night… I couldn’t just leave you there alone... broken.” Rhett felt tears forming in his eyes as his mind conjured up an image of Link, lying in the hospital bed, riddled with tubing, the monitors beeping a constant rhythm. _I had to be with you._ He felt a hand on his shoulder, tugging at him. He turned and his eyes fell on Link’s face, damp with tears, his chin quivering.

“Rhett, I…” Link's words were strained, choked.

Rhett reached up and grasped him firmly behind the head and pulled their faces together, pressing his lips firmly to Link’s. _Soft... like I remember._ He felt Link’s body tense and then collapse against his chest, knocking him backward into the wall. He grasped at Link’s narrow hip with his free hand.

Link moaned quietly against his lips. Rolling his hips forward, brushing against Rhett.

Rhett parted his lips and grazed Link’s with the tip of his small tongue.

Link met it with his own, as they began to explore each others' mouths.

Rhett lowered the hand on Link’s hip, grasping the underside of his thigh, hitching his thin leg up around his own hip and pulling him closer. He could feel Link growing hard against him. _Oh, Jesus._ Everything they were doing was foreign but felt so incredibly familiar, right.

Link pulled away from the kiss, panting, his pupils blown making his normally bright eyes appear black and wanton.

 _Beautiful...._ He lowered his mouth to Link’s slender neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin. His jeans were now uncomfortably tight. He rutted against Link, desperately seeking friction.

Link tilted his head to the side, allowing Rhett to burrow deeper. “Rhett…” he whispered, breathless and dazed.

Rhett dropped Link's leg from his hip and reached for the zipper of Link’s jeans, undoing them quickly and palming the hardness he found within. He groaned.

Link grasped at the bottom of Rhett’s t-shirt, pulling it over his head and bent forward, peppering the newly exposed skin with small kisses before backing away to remove his own.

Rhett released Link from his grasp and began fumbling with his own zipper, freeing himself and sliding his pants down over his thighs. He grabbed Link’s face, lifting it to his own. _I love you._ He kissed him deeply once more. _I have always loved you._

Their desperate hands traveled over one another, discovering something new with each touch. Both learning the others' curves, and appreciating what they had taken for granted for so many years. Their hands fervent and willing over each others' hardened flesh as they climaxed together, panting, sharing soft kisses and giggling wildly. It never felt wrong, it was profound and beautiful.

\---------------

Rhett rubbed his hand over the paint as tears ran down his cheeks. _I will always love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than average, but... it was required.  
> <3 RTR
> 
> This chapter included fictionalized re-tellings of stories told by RandL in the following videos:
> 
> [Our Funny Car Accidents](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCq1dPZsl_w)  
> [True Story of Link's Broken Pelvis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0eiJIgVc9s)
> 
> _Please also note that a factual error on my part had previously listed the location of the studio in this flashback sequence as being "The Kave" in Fuquay-Varina. However, some *Boopitty Boop Boop* and some friendly advice has lead me to correctly identifying it as the Lillington Basement. This error has been corrected in previous chapters. Thanks @Ladycynthiana!_
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [City and Colour - Comin' Home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjMsWarn8BI)


	8. Hard Truths

_Just breath, you can do this._ Link’s heartbeat pounded in his ears. _You have to do this._

“Sweetie?” His mother’s soft serene voice, full of a familiar southern drawl, settled on him. She was holding out a coffee mug and seating herself next to him at the kitchen table.

Link took the cup from her, setting it on the table. _You have to tell her._ He ran his finger of the rim of the glass, tracing slow circles. He felt his palms beginning to sweat, the worry that his loving mother may be moments away from kicking him out of her house and life forever. He wasn’t sure he was ready to accept the reality that may soon be upon him. _It doesn’t change anything._ He grasped the handle of the mug and brought it to his mouth, _You came here to tell her,_ he took a slow sip, _you have to tell her._

“Charles Lincoln Neal,” her tone was authoritative but, not angry. “You showed up on my doorstep without even a phone call.” She reached out and took his bandaged hand into her own “You’re hurt.” She rubbed her thumb over the back of it. “And you’ve barely spoken since you arrived.”

 _If I speak I might lose you…_

She reached out taking his other hand and grasped the two firmly, tipping her head down, weaving side to side, until she managed to force eye contact. “Tell me what’s going on,” she encouraged sweetly.

_I don’t know if I can._ “Mom,” his voice sounded weak; he tried to hold the fraying pieces of it together. _Just tell her!_ “I… Chr… Christy left.” His eyes filled with tears and he dropped his forehead to the table. There was no going back, he felt like he was being sucked down a drain, slowly disappearing, fading.

Link’s mother released his hands. She pulled them away, resting them briefly on the table before slumping back in her chair with a small thud. “Link, what happened?” Her voice filled with concerned curiosity.

“She took the kids!” He pushed himself from the table, sending his chair sliding over the floor and crashing into the wall. “She took them and she left.” Link clenched his fists and brought his knuckles down on the table, he felt a twinge of pain in his bandaged hand. _Tell her why, you coward.”_

“Well, I’m sure you two can work it-”

“No!” he yelled, turning around, not wanting to look at his mother when he crushed her with his words. “No, Mom. We can’t.” His voice was even. _It’s over._

“Link, marriage isn’t easy, you-” She stood, beginning to move toward him.

 _Say it!_ “I cheated on her.” Link no longer heard her footsteps.

She said nothing, but a gasp escaped from her before she cupped her hand to her mouth.

 _Drawing this out won’t change anything!_ He reached up running his fingers through the long hair on the top of his head, leaving it in a state of disarray afterward. _Just fucking say it!_ “I’ve _been_ cheating on her,” he corrected. “For about seven years.” Link waited for a response that never came, there was only silence behind him, “With…” _Oh, God. _“With, Rhett.”__

The potential finality of what he had just confessed hit him hard, he felt vomit rise in his esophagus before swallowing it back down. He collapsed to the floor, and began to sob loudly into his hands. _Stop crying! You did this to yourself you pathetic bastard!_ His tears came more rapidly, he began to hyperventilate, feeling faint and out of control. He had come here knowing it could be the last time and in this moment he was certain it was. Behind his closed eyes, he imagined the look on his mother’s face behind him, hot with rage and disappointment. He felt so alone.

Link’s mother’s eyes were wet with tears, her eyebrows furrowed and nostrils slightly flared; her chest was rising and falling rapidly. She took in the image of her son, broken in front of her. All of her conflicting emotions became secondary to the pain plaguing her only child. 

Just when he thought his body would give way and everything that he was would evaporate, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He took a sharp breath in surprise, whipping his head around instinctively. He wasn’t met with the face he’d been sure he would find.

 _Mom?_. Not anger but, concern, worry, fear, and love. He shuffled on his knees to face her, looking up at her, like he had when he was a child.

She ran her hand gently through his hair, remaining silent.

He tipped his head back, his breathing stabilizing, heart rate slowing, appreciating the loving touch he was receiving in this moment he expected to be filled with hateful words, and pain. _How can you still love me?_

She knelt on the floor in front of him lifting his head and pressing her nose to his. “Listen to me.” Her voice calm even as tears flowed from her eyes. “You are my son,” she said, pulling her face away, looking into his eyes, holding his head in her hands. “You will always be my son.” She leaned in, encircling his neck in her arms and resting her head on his shoulder.

Link wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her closer to him. “Mom,” he murmured. “I love you.” He released his grip on her, pulling away. _Dad._ His brows furrowed and he looked away.

“Link?” she asked, noticing his newly distracted appearance. She brushed an errant cluster of hair from his forehead.

“Dad.” he said simply, not meeting her gaze.

A small sound escaped from her lips.

“How…” he sputtered, “how am I…” He got to his feet, walking to the sink. He leaned into the counter, looking out the window into the yard, “how am I going to tell him?” He felt a lump in his throat, like it was choking his air supply.

“Don’t.” Link’s mother’s voice was firm, and resolute. “Don’t you tell him.”

Link turned to face her. She was standing, looking directly at him. Her soft expression replaced by one of pure fear. “I can’t keep lying… I’m so tired of lying!” He shoved his hands in his pocket roughly.

“He won’t understand.” She looked to the floor, picking at her fingernails. “I don’t even know if I can accept it.” Her stare remained fixed at her feet.

Link’s heart dropped to his stomach. This had all been a lie. He pulled his hands from his pockets and pushed himself from the counter. _I knew it._ He reached for his jacket on the back of the chair when his mother grabbed his forearm.

“Don’t.” She gripped harder. “I just mean that, I’m going to need some time and,” she said timidly, sounding apologetic. “I think you should wait to tell your father.”

“No,” he said, firmly. _I’m ripping this off like a fucking band-aid._ “I’m telling him.” He shook his hand lose from her grasp and snatching his jacket from the chair, “today.” He reached up, cupping his mother’s head in his hand, and pressed a kiss into her hair. “I love you,” he hummed. He released her, crossed the kitchen and pushed through the screen door. _Dad._

\---------------

Link sat, staring at the steering wheel of his car, his hands wrapped tightly around the hard leather material. His bandage lay tattered in the passenger seat. His knuckles were freshly bleeding and still bruised. He reached up and punched the roof of the car hard with his wounded hand, the pain was a relief. Something tangible.

”Fuck you, you ignorant bastard!”

His car was parked in front of a small rundown property on the outskirts of town. It looked unkempt and disheveled. _Ugly house for an ugly man._ Link reached into the backseat and pulled his carry-on into his lap, riffling through it in search of the extra bandages he had packed. His mind full of the hateful words he had heard only moments ago. _‘Faggot.’_ He winced. _‘Weak.’_ He shook his head. _‘No son of mine…’_

He’d simply walked out, ignoring the hateful words that had spewed from his father’s mouth. He’d wanted to lash out and strike the man, to make him see that loving a man wouldn't prevent him from punching his lights out. Instead, he'd struck the wall, for the second time in as many days. He'd walked away, listening to the ignorant, thoughtless words following him out the door.

“I don’t give a shit what you think!” he screamed. “I don’t need to be your son!” He would have cried if he had any tears left to shed. _Fucking prick!_

He wrapped his fresh wounds, looking out at the expanse of pavement in front of him. This was the road to Kinston. He brought his hand to the key in the ignition, hesitating. _You should call her first._ He looked down at his phone plugged into the dash. _She’s not going to answer._

He turned the key and the engine roared to life. _Fuck it._ He pulled on to the road, looking at his father’s house in the rear-view mirror as he drove away. _Like a fucking band-aid._

\---------------

Link passed through the familiar streets of Kinston, a town he had become very familiar with. He and his family spent each Christmas visiting family and much of that time had been spent here. He followed the familiar route he took to reach the outskirts. The drive had taken him nearly two hours and the sun was low in the sky. He’d blasted the radio on the drive to distract him from his thoughts. It had worked, without it he may have turned around but, here he was, pulling onto the familiar terrace.

 _This is probably a mistake._ He slowed the vehicle, creeping forward. From a few houses down, he could see that there was someone standing in the White’s front yard, Christy’s father. _This was definitely a mistake._ He pulled the car to the curb, looking over at the house. His heart leapt as he looked down the driveway into the backyard.

 _The kids!_ He unclipped his seat belt and reached for the door handle, pulling it open and sliding out. He pushed it closed, not taking his eyes off his three beautiful children playing in the yard, their excited laughter traveling through the air and filling his ears.

”What in the _hell_ are you doing here!?” Christy’s father’s voiced boomed in his head, drowning out the happy sounds that had filled it moments ago. “You better get the hell off of my property, right now!” he hollered, his face bright red with anger.

“I just need to see them-” Link tried to step around the man, to get to his destination, but he was gripped hard by the elbow.

“I said, leave!” He reeled back and struck Link hard in the face with his large fist, sending Link's glasses flying across the yard.

Link felt pressure building behind his eye. _Fuck!_ His vision was blurred, the pain was excruciating. “Gahh!” He called out as he folded his body and clasped his head in his hands.

“Dad?” a small voice sounded from the side of the house. “Kids, go inside.”

_Chirsty!_

“Link?” She sounded scared and confused. “What… What are you doing here?” Angry now.

“He was just leaving,” her father said confidently.

Link looked up at her and her mouth fell open.

“What did you do!?” she shouted, shooting an accusatory glare at her father.

"Link…” She stepped toward him and begin reaching out her arms before she stopped herself.

Link stood, his eye squinted and now nearly swollen shut. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come… I just… I needed to try to-”

Christy interjected. “It’s over, Link.” She did not avert her eyes from his disfigured appearance. “I’m not doing this.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Dad, can you please go inside,” she said, not shifting her gaze.

Link was sure he heard a growl escape the man’s mouth as he wordlessly retreated into the house.

“He shouldn’t have hit you,” she said plainly.

“No, I deserved that and more.” He winced as he touched the skin around his swollen eye. “I was a jerk.” _A jerk? You’re an asshole, a piece of shit lying asshole._ “I don’t even know what to say.” He looked down at the ground, his vision causing the appearance of the grass to blur.

“There’s nothing to say.” She ran her hands through her long blond hair.

“The kids?” Link’s voice tripped over his words.

“You are their father, I have no intention of trying to keep them from you.” Her voice was even. "I will not punish them for your mistakes." She finally looked away from him to the backyard where they had been playing moments ago. “I just need some time.”

Link felt a rush of relief at her words. His heart broke for what he knew he was losing, but he felt an overwhelming sense of calm knowing that his children would have their father, since he'd grown up without his own, and that he would have them. _She deserved so much better than you._ “Christy, I…” He struggled to find the right words, “thank you.”

“I think you should go,” she said, looking at the watch on her wrist. “I don’t want the kids to see you, it would just confuse them,” she reasoned.

He longed to hold them, to hear their stories, to simply be with them but, he knew Christy was right. “Yeah, you’re right.” He took one last look at the house, the yard, hoping to catch a fleeting glimpse of them before he turned to leave, he bent down to pluck his bent glasses from the grass.

“You’re a great father,” Christy said quietly.

Her words stung and soothed him at the same time. He felt a single tear run down the side of his nose as he walked to his car. He sat inside as he watched her enter the house. He’d lost his wife. Everything they had built, gone. His chest felt like it was being crushed by the weight of the earth. His lungs small and unable to allow him breath. He pulled at his hair, tugging it roughly. His mind swam with the memories he had shared with her in their time together. He had loved her, truly. He just knew that it wasn’t the same as the love that he felt for Rhett. _Rhett…._

He had tried to push the man from his thoughts since arriving here. Trying to get the distance that he had convinced himself was a good idea but, now in this moment he wished with all of himself that he could cross the country in an instant and crawl into Rhett’s loving embrace. _I need you._

His flight was booked for the following evening at 8pm and he knew he wasn’t going to catch anything sooner. He felt anxiety creeping through him as he thought about Rhett. He’s just left him, hadn’t tried to find him. _What if he’s hurt?_ He dug out his phone and dialed Rhett’s number, his thumb hovering over the call button. _You were right to give him space._ He locked the screen and shoved it back in his pocket.

He let his head fall back against the headrest. His eye was throbbing and it distracted him from the pain in his hand. He looked down at the bent frames in his hand, he wrenched them as close to straight as he could and placed them on the dash. He reached for his bag, yet again retrieving his first aid kit. He wiped at his painful eye with gauze padding, he pulled it away and it was soaked in crimson. He felt woozy for only a moment before suddenly being struck by an epiphany. _Blood._ If he couldn’t be with Rhett, he would be with the memories of him, and what better place than the pasture where they had become blood brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [X Ambassadors - Unsteady](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY)  
> 


	9. Admission

The keys felt heavy in his hands. Leaving this place meant he couldn’t hide in his memories anymore, couldn’t bury his head in the sand, couldn’t pretend things were as they had been, once. _Everything has changed._ Rhett dropped the key’s into the box. _Time to stop pretending._ He walked slowly back to his car, taking a moment to appreciate the house before heading back over the River, to face whatever may lie ahead.

The short trip over the bridge to Buies Creek wasn’t long enough, before he knew it he was parked in front of the same manicured property, the same charming sign adorning the end of its driveway. _No backing down._

He turned off the car and closed his eyes. He smiled as his subconscious gifted him with images of Link. His bright young face smiling up at him from the grass when they were children. His corn-flower blue eyes full of happiness when they stood on stage collecting their first Webby. His perfect lips curling into a smile whenever he said... _I love you._

The conjured images of Link swirled in his head, reminding him why he was here, why any of it mattered. Though he did not know what the future would hold, he was more certain than he’d ever been that he was exactly where he needed to be.

He pulled his weary body out of the car and walked toward the house. His father sat in his rocking chair on the front porch, his head buried in a book. _Just like Dad._ He continued up the gravel driveway, the sound of the stones noisy underfoot.

The older man looked up from his musings. “Rhett… I thought you said you had a-”

“Meeting?” Rhett finished the sentence as he approached the porch.

Rhett’s father rose from his chair, leaning his elbows on the rail.

He dropped his gaze to the ground, twisting the toe of his shoe in the gravel, the picture of guilt. “I’m sorry.” He brought his hand to his head, rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger. “I just, I had to leave.” He met his father’s gaze as he admitted his lie.

“So, no meeting then?” He looked at his son, an eyebrow raised.

“No, no meeting.” Rhett smiled at the facial expression his father wore. _I come by it honestly._ His smile faded, what he’d come to tell these people who had brought him into this world, raised him, supported and encouraged him, could mean losing them forever.

Rhett’s father pushed away from the railing, turned and descended the short staircase before reaching out and placing his hand on the shoulder of his much taller child. “Is there something you need to say, Son?” His grasp tightened.

He felt the tension in his chest melting. _It’s time._ “Yeah,” his voice cracked. “Yeah Dad, there is.”

\---------------

Rhett sat in his parent’s living room, his palms sweating as he cracked his knuckles, clasping and then releasing his hands, his elbows rested heavily on his knees. His head hung and he stared down at the carpet, counting the colours in the pattern. His father sat across from him in a large arm chair, sipping at tall glass of water.

“Can I get you anything Rhett, Sweetie?” His mother called from the kitchen. “I’ve got those biscuits you like and I can put on some tea-”

“I’m fine, Mom,” he said, leaning back and making eye contact with her through the dining room. “Just come sit down, please?” He patted the seat next to him.

His father looked over at him, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Always making such a fuss over you,” he smiled.

_We’ll see after today…_

“Now what is it you wanted to tell us?” his mother said, sitting down next to him and patting his back gently before her hand came to rest.

Rhett’s heart began to pound hard against his breastbone, his pulse audible in his ears. _Just breathe._ He got up from the couch, his mother’s touch disappearing from him. _Just breathe._ He moved to stand by the large picture window, facing away from them.

“Rhett, whatever it is,” his mother’s shaky voice sounded scared and full of trepidation. “You can tell us.”

His father was silent, aside from sharp inhale of breath through his nose.

 _I love you both._ He rested his clenched fist on the edge of the window, letting it take some of his weight. “Link and I… we…” His tongue felt like it was weighed down by an anvil, keeping him from saying the words. _End this._ “Jessie kicked me out.” _Start there._ “She had every reason to.” He turned to face them. Panic clear in his mother’s expression, his father’s was skeptical and contemplative. Rhett watched as his eyes widened and his mouth fell open before clenching closed again. _He knows._

“You… you didn’t? You…” He stood from his chair, still holding his glass, condensation running down over the fingers that gripped it tightly. “What the hell is wrong with you!?” His face reddened, the vein in his forehead throbbing wildly.

Rhett stood motionless, unresponsive, bracing himself for the explosion he feared was coming.

“I don’t understand.” His mother’s gaze shifted back and forth between them rapidly, searching for an answer, “what’s going- ”

“Link!” his father yelled at her, the force of his grip shattering the glass in his hand, sending water and sharp shards cascading down to the floor. “Diane, he’s been stepping out on his wife.” He brushed the remaining glass pieces from his hand; small spots of blood covered his palm. “With Link.”

She gasped, cupping her hand to her mouth, “Rhett, no,” her muffled voice hitched as her eyes glistened with tears. She stepped toward him, hesitating in front of him before shoving him roughly. “How could you!?” She turned away, slumping forward. “With… Lin…” Her body straightened and she spun to face him. “You make me sick!”

Rhett couldn’t speak. _There’s nothing to say._

His father reached his arm around her, pulling her into his chest, she began to sob loudly. Her arms now draped around his shoulders. “I think you should leave.” His voice was cold and steady, his eyes were fixed on Rhett’s.

The cold stare bored into him. His father was looking at him like he was a stranger. _Please… don’t do this._ His heart stuttered in his chest, struggling to find an even rhythm. “Dad… please-” Rhett’s voice was full of anguish.

“Get out of my house,” he spat. “I can’t stand to look at you.” He finally averted his eyes, looking at a picture that hung on the wall, a picture of Rhett with his arm draped around his best friend after a championship basketball game. “You and that little… You have been up to this all along, haven’t you?” He pushed his wife away.

She collapsed onto the couch, still weeping.

“No, Dad… it’s wasn’t like th-” Rhett took a step toward him as his words were stamped out by hateful yelling.

“Bullshit!” he hollered, striding across the room and snatching the photo from its place on the wall. “Look at you two!” He threw the photo to the floor, the glass shattered.

“Dad, stop.” Rhett said, determined to put a halt to his father’s runaway thoughts, but the raging man in front of him exploded. _Please… please don’t be like this._

“You get out of my house!” he yelled, closing the space between them. He grabbed Rhett’s shoulder hard in his bleeding hand and shoved him toward the front door.

 _You knew this would happen._ He could have easily stood his ground, refused to move his large frame but, he didn’t resist. _This was always going to happen._ He stumbled as his father forced him forward. He looked over at his mother.

Her eyes were red and wide as she watched her husband forcing their youngest son out of their lives.

_They were never going to accept this._

His father reached for the doorknob with his free hand, throwing it open and shoving Rhett out onto the porch. “Go!” he said sternly as he slammed the door, the force of it vibrating the boards of the decking.

Rhett stood facing forward, his head hung low. His eyes transfixed on the small chips in the paint of the boards below. He wanted to collapse, to let the earth swallow him up and to leave no trace. He was numb, his heart rate slow and steady, like the near-constant pain and emotional turmoil had desensitized his body. _Move._ He tried to will himself to lift his feet, to walk away but felt as if they were anchored in place. _If I walk away, I may never..._ He turned his head, looking through the window in the door.

His father sat on the couch, cradling his distraught wife, running his hands over her back. His face shiny, his eyes wet.

He’d never seen his father cry. _Oh, Dad…_ his heart sank. He wanted to go to them, to offer comfort, but he knew that if things were ever going to get better, what they needed was time. _Give them time._

He loved his parents with all that he was. They were good people. Though, in this moment, they had displayed an ugliness almost unrecognizable to him, he couldn’t help but hope that they may come to understand and accept what he had shared with them, in time. He turned away, not wanting to prolong the guilt that he felt seeing their distraught faces, knowing he was the cause. _Give them time._

He lifted his feet and walked down into the grass. He began to realize that in this moment where he expected to feel completely destroyed, an empty shell of himself, alone and scared, he didn’t. He was calm and at peace in the knowledge that he was finally living a truth. _I needed to do this._ His secrets were exposed and it freed him, his heart soared with a lightness that he’d forgotten existed. He looked up at the sky, the sun sat just above the horizon, casting a pink-orange glow over the small valley in front of him. He smiled as he stood, appreciating the beautiful gift of this moment, feeling his heart swell, his soul finally free to love its mate. _Link…_

He needed to see him, touch him, to hold him and beg forgiveness for pushing him away, to apologize for walking away when he’d needed him the most. _How could I have just left you?_ Then he remembered the levity he’d experienced only moments ago. _I needed to come here._ he pushed the images of Link, broken and battered, from his mind. _I’m sorry Link but, I needed to do this._ Though coming to this place had brought him more relief than he’d realized was possible, he wished that he could will the following day into an early existence, to be on his way home, on his way to Link. He took a final appreciative look at the burnt orange sunset before crossing the lawn and getting into his car.

 _I could just drive back._ He shook his head. _Don’t be an idiot._ He turned the key in the ignition, pulling his seat belt across his chest. _I could sleep._ The last time he’d slept was a small nap he’d managed to cram in the afternoon the day before the shoot. He was flagging but, he feared what his dreams might show him, what they might haunt him with. He wasn't ready to face them.

 _I need to see him._ He’d done it earlier, he’d recalled Link with precise detail like he’d been standing in front of him, he could almost feel his touch. _Find him in your memories._ He sat a moment, contemplating his options. He was in Harnett County, a place they had shared many happy moments but, none of them seemed right. He searched through the recesses of his mind before his mouth turned up into a lopsided smile. _Perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended to have this out earlier but, I was having some serious computer TROUBS!  
> Love you, my beautiful readers!  
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Band of Horses - The Funeral](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPW8y6woTBI)  
> [Susie Suh and Robot Koch - Here With Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzR8BCmV9Ew)


	10. Carolina Sky

Link pulled up over onto the shoulder of the familiar stretch of road along Keith Hills. The sun was casting orange hues through the stand of sycamores between the road and creek. He breathed in deeply; the air was heavy and earthy, smelling as if it had just rained. The sound of water trickling through the creek bed was like a shot of Novocain to his aching and fatigued body, slowly starting to numb his pain. His head still pounded, his swollen eye throbbed but, as he closed his eyes and focus on the sounds around him, drawing in a breath and exhaling slowly, the pain began to subside. He meditated on the flashes of his past, in this place, that flickered though his mind's eye. The sounds and smells making them more vivid and detailed than he could have imagined possible.

Rhett’s lanky body running into the river, kicking water, laughing as he splashes. His green eyes staring down from the large rock in the pasture, his face full of wonder as he talks about the future. His long finger outstretched, wet with blood, as they solidified their life-long bond.

Link could almost smell the metallic notes of the crimson fluid. _Rhett…_ He gently closed the door of the car and began pushing his way into the trees. The light was fading, the orange glow darkening as the sun dipped below the trees. He ducked and bobbed under branches, finally reaching the banks of the creek. The sounds of the slowly running water combined with the last calls of birds settling for the night in the branches above him. The leaves rustled in the gentle breeze. His eyes fell on the large fallen tree crossing over the creek, the one the two had used as a bridge to the pasture all those years ago. _Still there…_ It looked pretty solid, but he had his doubts. _Afraid of getting wet? Just go._

He placed his right foot on the log, it was slimy with age and decay. _This is probably a very bad idea._ He looked around and considered his options. It was either cross the log, walk through the frigid waist deep creek, or walk a mile upstream to the next crossing. He looked across the narrow expanse of water and could see the large rock jutting out from the ground just behind a large post. He nudged his crooked glasses up his nose. _Rickety log it is._ He shook his head as he stepped up, planting both feet and holding his arms to his side to help balance his weight. He took a tentative step forward.

He wobbled as he brought one foot in front of the other, he felt his foot slip and he teetered over the edge of the log, flailing his arms wildly before regaining his balance. _Almost there._ He leapt the remaining distance, not wanting to press his luck with the thirty year old lumber. His planted his feet firmly on the earth. With each step toward the adjacent field, he felt closer to Rhett. He climbed up over the gate, sitting atop for a moment before pushing himself off. _This place…_ he looked around, though his slightly blurred vision, _It’s like we never left._ He felt his physical and emotional pain drift away, like the cool breeze was washing it from his skin, carrying his burden, releasing him.

He ambled to the rock near the corner of the field. He and Rhett had spent countless hours in this very spot, sitting atop the large boulder planning their future, talking about school and girls. He grinned, running his fingers over the smooth, hard surface. The remaining tension that lingered in his muscles gave way. He slumped to the ground, turning, his back resting against the cold, firm wall, one knee bent. His head fell back and he looked up at the darkening sky. A few stars had come into view. _I miss this._ His eyes closed slowly as he breathed deeply, his body in a relaxed state for the first time in nearly three days. _I miss you._ He tried pull open his eyes, wanting to look up at the glimmering dots as they blinked on in the sky, but they remained sealed. His weary body begged him for rest. _Just for a little while._ His mouth fell open and he began to drift.

\---------------

The wind whipped in through Rhett’s open window, throwing his hair out of place. He ran his hand through it, ruffling it further between his fingers. _I needed to come here._ He felt soothed to his core by the sound of his tires on pavement, the rhythm of the engine, and the rush of each tree he passed. Sunlight played across his face, the visor protecting his eyes from the blinding glow, before the light slowly faded as the sun finally disappeared over the trees at the horizon. He crested a gentle rise along the manicured grass of the golf course and slowly brought the car to a stop on the shoulder, the steering wheel rumbled in his hands as he passed over the rough ground. _Strange._ He brought the vehicle to a stop, but to his surprise, behind another dark sedan.

 _Someone must have a rod out._ This was a pretty narrow part of the creek, not a particularly popular fishing hole but, he hadn’t been here in years. He hefted himself from the driver’s seat. His back ached, longing for the rest he’d been unable to give it. _You’re getting too old for all nighters, McLaughlin._ He placed his palm against it the small of his back and rested the other on the roof of the car, stretching out his sore muscles. _I can't rest... I need to see him._

He closed the door and walked around the front of the car, glancing at the one parked in front. An Enterprise sticker gleamed in the remaining sunlight. _A rental?_ He shrugged, he’d seen stranger things in North Carolina than an errant rental car.

The light was fading fast, the sky darkening with each step. He made his way down the shallow ditch and pushed several low-hanging branch aside before stepping out of the small stand of trees. The creek babbled in front of him, the sound bringing a smile to his face. He took in the sight of the familiar clearing that opened up in front of him. The bend of the creek cutting though the landscape just as he’d remembered, he could feel his pulse quicken _I can be with him here._ He could see the pasture through the trees on the opposite bank. He looked at the rotten, nearly crumbling tree that formed the old crossing. _I’m sure as hell not crossing on that._ He was sure that, as a child, he would not have hesitated to trust it with his life but he wasn't a kid anymore. _Looks like I’m getting wet._

He peeled his clothes from his body, until he stood in only his boxers, if it hadn’t been for the rental car, with no apparent owner in sight, he’d of had those off too. He balled his clothes up, tucking his phone, wallet and keys inside his shoes at the centre of the bundle, and began to wade into creek.

He gasped, sucking in air rapidly. The water was cold against his skin, it was still spring and the icy mountain runoff running in the creek reminded him with each step he took. _Should have used the dang log._ The water level continued to rise until finally reaching his waist; he held his hands over his head and continued across as the water began to recede. He stepped out on the opposing bank shaking his limbs. His eyes traveled the length of the creek in both directions, checking for any prying eyes, before he reached down and pulled away his soaked boxer briefs. He rung them out quickly and hauled on his jeans, struggling to pull the tight legs over his damp flesh. He pulled on his shoes but left his bare chest exposed. The breeze on the cool beaded drops seemed to be helping the tight muscles in his back.

He approached the gate, it was latched but not locked. He lifted the clasp and pushed it open enough to squeeze through, closing it behind him. He turned around, resting his back against the gate post. _I can feel him._ He breathed deeply, closing his eyes, letting the sensations of this beautifully familiar place take him. He looked up at the sky, a few faint constellations were coming into view. He thought fondly of the gift he had given to the man he loved. _Linkstar._

He pushed himself from the post and began to cross the darkening pasture, to the rock, to the place where he’d promised a shared future to Link, to the place he had come to relive those happy moments. As he drew closer, he could discern the outline of a slouched body against the hard stone. _There’s someone here… the rental car._ He took a step closer to the figure huddled against the rock; their features were obscured in the failing light. He wanted to call out, not wishing to startle whoever lay resting in the field he’d hoped to find empty. As he got closer he detected a familiar curve to the body in front of him, the shape of the shoulders and tilt of the head. His brow furrowed as he tried to glean more details from the shadowy shape. _It can’t be…_

_Link?_ His heart began to beat erratically against his breastbone, his breath became shallow and labored. _I’m hallucinating… I haven’t slept._ As he closed in, the obscure lines and shadows, that had been concealing the identity of the stranger, gave way. He took in a rapid, stuttering breath. 

“Link?” He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Link’s mouth hung slightly agape, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

 _How is this possible?_ He thought his heart would beat clear out of his chest. He fell to his knees at Link’s feet. Suddenly his elation gave way to fear as his eyes traveled over the sleeping man lain in front of him. “No…” he whispered, as his eyes surveyed the damage. Link’s eye was dark and swollen; a cut adorned the skin of his brow, a small smear of blood leading from it toward his hairline. He moved closer, digging the knees of his jeans into the soft damp grass.

 _What’s happened to you?_ He looked down at Link’s bandaged hand, laying limply beside him, fresh blood had soaked through the dressing. Rhett reached for it, taking it gingerly into his own, cradling it. _I’m so sorry._ His eye’s began to sting, filling with tears as he took in a sharp breath. He had to look away. He dropped his gaze to the hand that he held, his eyes closed and he began to softly weep.

Link felt something against his hand and it roused him from his unconscious state. His initial response was that of fear. _Shit! I fell asleep._ The drug of this place seemed to have worn off and he felt a throbbing in his face. He opened his right eye; the night sky had replaced the soft glow of twilight. His eyes dropped from the star-filled darkness to the source of his rousing, he found his battered hand resting in that of another. A familiar grasp, one he’d known his entire life.

“Rhett?” Link couldn’t believe what he was seeing, _I’m dreaming._ he shook his head slightly, _I must be dreaming._

Rhett looked up from their joined hands. Their eyes met. “Link-”

“You’re here,” Link slurred, still dazed with sleep. His mouth turned up into a goofy smile. “What a nice dream.” He leaned forward, propping himself to a more upright position with his good hand. “You’re shirtless and everything,” Link giggled. _I hope I remember this one._

Rhett grinned, gently shaking his head. “This isn’t a dream Link,” he said, releasing Link’s hand and gently resting it on his lap. “I love you,” Rhett professed without hesitation or pretenses. He reached up, cupping Link’s face in his large palms, careful to avoid the wounded eye. He winced as his moved his thumb just below it. “I’m here.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Link’s cheek and pulling away. “You’re here, and I love you.” He looked into the face of the man that he’d been longing for his entire life, for longer than he’d even realized.

Link’s impaired vision finally focused, the reality settled in and he was suddenly overcome. “Rhett, I…” Link was speechless, left clawing for words to express the emotions he felt. _I love you? Not enough._ He smiled weakly, basking in the glow that was emanating from the man in front of him. He reached up and grasped desperately at Rhett’s bare shoulders. His frustration at his inability to find the right words left him stammering; he inhaled deeply and his feelings began to flow freely from his lips, charged with raw and powerful emotion. “I… I love you, Rhett.” He reached his hand behind Rhett, burying it in his blond locks. “I have always… loved you.” He brought his lips to Rhett’s forehead, resting them there a moment before moving to press their noses together. “I will _always_ love you…” He lowered his mouth to Rhett’s breathing the last word against the soft skin of his lips. “Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [The Swell Season - I have Loved You Wrong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RCUJav54NU)  
> [Will Johnson - Little Raider](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAS0evGbgYo&index=88&list=LLsPQA5b3Z2PunnuKxgolHLA)
> 
> **Fanart for This Chapter:**  
> [By @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/146333345160/hey-what-if-forgive-us-our-trespasses-ch)


	11. An Oath Unbroken

Rhett pulled Link to his chest, wrapping his arms around his back, kissing him passionately. _I love you so much it hurts._ His hand traveled up over Link’s shoulder blades and settled on the back of his head. He drove deeper into their mouth’s embrace, waves a pleasure shot through him. _I thought I might never taste you again._

Link’s hands clawed desperately at any part of Rhett he could reach, grasping at his hips, shoulders, and pert ass. _I needed you, and here you are._ Rhett’s mouth was moving hard against his own, his beard rubbing against Link’s sensitive skin. He wrapped his tongue around Rhett’s, exploring his mouth, allowing the sensations to carry him away, to lick his wounds. _Here you are._

Rhett broke their kiss, panting and gasping for air. “Link… I…” He released his hold on the smaller man and brought his fingers to his swollen lips, the feeling of Link’s soft mouth lingering on them, he traced his lower lip with his thumb as he gathered his thoughts. His eyes surveyed the breathless man in front of him, he grimaced at the sight of Link’s beautiful face, battered and swollen, his glasses sitting off kilter. _Who the hell did that to you?_ He clenched his fists, angry and protective. _Who!? I swear to God…_ He clenched his eyes shut in an attempt to calm himself. _Later… don’t ruin this with anger._ He took in a breath, exhaling slowly through slightly parted lips.

“How did you know I was here?” Link asked, sensing Rhett was lost in his own thoughts and seemingly distressed.

Link’s soft words calmed him. “I didn’t…” He shook his head. “I just…” he gestured at the field. “And you were here.” _Like a dream._ He got to his feet, holding his hand out to Link to help him up.

“I needed to be here,” Link said, accepting Rhett’s gesture and stumbling to his feet. He released Rhett’s hand dropping his gaze to the ground. “When you left…” He turned away and began dusting the grass and dust from his clothes.

“Link, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have just walked away.” Rhett placed his large hand on Link’s broad shoulder, squeezing gently. “I just didn’t know what else to do.” He stepped closer and pressed his lips into Link’s chestnut hair. “I had to come here... to face this.”

“We could have done this together.” There was a slight edge to Link’s tone but his movements were gentle. _It’s okay, I understand._ He reached across his chest, placing his bandaged hand over the one clasping his shoulder.

Rhett winced as the rough gauze abraded his skin; he bent down and pressed a soft kiss to Link’s exposed finger tips. “Walls don’t make good punching bags, Link.”

Link leaned his head against Rhett’s cheek. “How do you know it was a wall?” he asked as he breathed in the scent of the tall man at his back, his eyes closed, feeling comforted by the soft touches.

Rhett brought his lips to Link’s ear. “Because I know _you_.”

“It was _two_ walls, if you must know,” Link teased, smiling weakly. In the embrace of the man that he loved, he began to feel so light that he could lift from the ground.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Rhett turned Link in his hands, looking down at his weary face. _Still so beautiful._ “Of course one wall wasn’t enough.” His mouth turned up into a gentle smirk.

“Naturally,” Link smiled.

Rhett brushed a few hanging strands of hair from Link’s forehead before pressing his lips to it. _You have no instinct for self-preservation, do you?_ He smiled against Link’s skin.

Feeling Rhett’s lips on his forehead, carefully avoiding the swollen mess of his left eye, brought on a question. “You’re not going to ask me about my face?” He pulled his head back, looking up at Rhett. _I’m surprised it wasn’t the first thing out of your mouth... always so worried._

“I’m not sure I can take knowing,” Rhett said, averting his eyes, his anger roiling inside of him. _I know exactly who it was._ He chewed at the insides of his lips. “You told him, huh?” He tried to control his anger. _That ignorant piece of shit._ He turned from Link, looking up at the night sky, clouds were building, they drifted lazily over crescent moon.

Link reached for him before dropping his arms to his side, sensing Rhett’s rage building in the air around him. _Don’t push him._ “Yeah, right before I came here,” Link said, nipping at his bottom lip and nodding. “He was a jackass but, he didn’t hit me.”

Rhett’s balled up his fists relaxed at his side. _Who then?_ Link continued before he could ask. _Later..._

“I told my mother,” Link stammered slightly, recalling his emotional conversation. “I drove there from the airport.” He ran his hand though his hair, scratching at the top of his head. “I felt like running but, I knew I had to tell her…” he trailed off.

Rhett felt like his eyes beginning to sting with tears. _You are so much stronger than me._ Rhett thought about Link’s insistence on keeping their life together a secret, always resenting what he'd viewed as weakness, thinking Link was just afraid of having to tell everyone, to explain. _I was an idiot._ It was clear to him now that it was Link who was braver. He hadn’t kept their love a secret out of cowardice, but out of duty and dedication for the life he had built. _I shouldn’t have taken that from you._ Rhett had only been able to face the same truths because Link had given him the strength he needed in that beautiful basement memory.

Link watched Rhett’s expression, pained and sorrowful.

“I couldn’t tell my folks, not right away.” Rhett’s eyes were fixed on the ground. “I went to Lillington… to the house.” He looked back up meeting Link’s gaze.

Link knew why Rhett had gone, it was the same reason he had come to this field. _The basement._

“I needed to… to be with you.” His voice was weak. “Somewhere I could remember us.” He pushed his hands into his pockets. “You’re the only reason I had the strength to go back.” He fiddled with some balled up paper at the bottom of his pocket. “I finally told them and they…” His eyes welled up and tears began to flow as the image of his dejected parents flashed in his mind. “They…” He began to sob loudly, collapsing and folding his body, his chest pressed against his thighs.

 _Oh, God… Rhett._ Link placed his hand on the larger man's back rubbing it, in an attempt to sooth. _It’s going to be okay, they’ll come around._ He didn’t say a word for fear it could be a lie, but they were good people and, they loved their son.

Rhett’s breathing began to even out as Link’s comforting touch soaked through him. _Link is here, it’s okay._ He stood, wiping his face with his arm. “Jessie hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts.” He drew breath through his nose, “I left messages… I…” Rhett threw his hands in the air. “I called her from the airport and she answered without speaking, I could hear the kids…” He hit the butt of his hand to his forehead. “But she hung up,” he sighed, the tears burgeoning again.

Link felt sorry for Rhett, Christy _had_ spoken to him, had comforted him with the promise of his children and Rhett was being tortured by the thought of losing his own.

 _She may never speak to you again. That fleeting sound of your children in the background may be the last you ever get._ He felt he was losing his grasp on reality, falling into a dark pit. Link’s voice cut through the fog of his thoughts.

”Just give her some time, Rhett,” Link said, placing his hand on Rhett’s shoulder. “She knows you love those kids.” He solidified his grip, squeezing gently.

“You don’t know that, Link!” Rhett hollered, shrugging Link’s hand from him. “You don’t know that.” He stepped away, turning and clasping his hands behind his head.

Link's hand fell to his side. “Rhett, I know Jessie. Just give her time.”

Rhett closed his eyes, images of his family filled his head. His children laughing and playing. Jessie’s smiling face, full kindness in the image his mind had presented. _She may never forgive me for this but, he's right, she wouldn’t keep the kids from me._ He had to believe that, the alternative was too painful to bare. _Give her time._ Rhett dropped his hands and nodded, calming his breathing.

Link’s mouth turned up into a small smile as he watched Rhett body relax in front of him. He dropped his gaze to his hands. He picked at the skin around his nails, before gripping the gold ring that encircled his finger. “I went to Kinston,” he said quietly, “to see Christy.”

 _Christy? Is that who hit you?_ Rhett turned to him, his eyes reddened by the tears that had fallen. “Christy did that to you?” Rhett was shocked. _That’s a hell of a right hook._ He reached up and gently rubbed Link’s bruised cheek with his thumb.

“No.” Link brushed away Rhett’s hand. “Her father.”

“Oh.” His anger over Link’s injury faded slightly, more acceptable at the hands of the guilty party.

Link pressed his finger to the cut on his forehead before pulling it away to inspect; it seemed to have stopped actively bleeding. The wind had picked up and was carrying a chill, common for a spring evening in Harnett County, Link shivered. He rubbed at his shoulders, looking up at Rhett who stood in front of him wearing nothing but his jeans _Show off._

 _He’s cold._ Rhett stepped around the shorter man and freed his jacket from the bundle that lay near the base of the rock, he returned and stood behind Link placing the jacket over his strong shoulders, running his hands over the toned arms he could feel beneath.

Link smiled contentedly. “Aren’t you cold?” he asked as Rhett continued to rub, warming him with each pass.

“I’m fine.” He dropped his hands and moved back to face Link.

“I saw the kids… they were playing.” Link’s eyes were closed, his children’s smiling faces danced in his mind. “I tried to go to them and he stopped me…” Link opened his eyes, meeting Rhett’s. “With his fist.” He gestured to his eye, his mouth turned up in a weak grin as he pushed up his glasses with the back of his hand.

Rhett grimaced, shaking his head quickly. “And Christy?” He asked, almost afraid to hear the rest.

Link looked up at the ever darkening night sky. “She was...” Link felt his throat closing and his eyes dampening. “Gracious and…” his voice hitched. “Kind.” He turned from Rhett, grasping at the back of his hair with his good hand, gripping it tightly. Rhett’s jacket fell to the ground.

Rhett watched his tortured friend and lover, wishing he could stop the pain. _I’m sorry._

“She said I was a good father.” He dropped his hand from his hair. “And I thought I might die.” He crouched to the ground, grasping at the long grass, pulling it from the earth.

“You are, Link.” Rhett stepped toward him, scooping his jacket up off the ground and pulling it on.

Link scoffed. “Well, I sure as shit don’t feel like it.” He picked up a rock and threw it into the darkness. “Not when I can’t see them.” He stood. “Not when they had to travel across the country to get away from me.” He kicked at the ground, driving the toe of his shoe into the soil. 

Rhett stood silent behind him, wanting to wrap himself around the tortured man. _Give him space._

“I’ll still get to be their father,” Link said turning back to face Rhett. “It’s more than I should expect after what we…” _Don’t say that... not when Rhett is struggling._ Link pulled his damaged glasses from his face.

Rhett took in a sharp breath, his children flashing in his mind again, his worry returning. _Jessie won’t keep them from you... she won't._. He finished Link’s hanging sentiment. “After what _I_ did,” Rhett emphasized. “I did this,” he said, taking Link’s glasses from his hand and placing them gingerly back on his face. _I did this to you._ He looked to their feet. _I did this to myself._

“ _We_ did this,” Link corrected, lifting Rhett’s chin. “ _We._ ” He looked deeply into Rhett’s eyes. “And _we_ will get through it.” Link pulled Rhett to his chest. He wrapping his arms around Rhett’s large trunk, and rested his head against his chest, “together.”

Rhett felt his heart swell, and his pulse quicken. _We._ He wrapped his arms around Link’s shoulders, cupping the back of Link’s head and placing his chin atop it. “Together.”

Link felt so comforted in Rhett’s arms, where he belonged, where he’d always belonged. His mind at ease as collapsed his weight into Rhett, feeling as if they were becoming one. He recalled the times Rhett had held him like this, comfortingly, when he’d needed it most, a few of those times, in this very field. _After the oath._ His mind drifted to another time, in the same place.

\---------------

“I want us to do something big!” Rhett said as he stood atop the large rock, his long arms spread wide. “Like, really big!” He spun in place, the sunlight danced across his face.

Link watched him, smiling widely. The air was warm with the heat of early summer, smelling of freshly plowed earth and cut grass. _I’m so lucky._ “Like what?” he asked, standing from the grass and dusting off the back of his shorts.

“I don’t know, Man… just something.” Rhett jumped down from the rock and walked toward Link, swinging his arms wildly.

Link reached down and yanked a handful of grass from the ground. “Well, you’re gonna have to narrow it down, Rhett,” Link said teasingly, as he twirled the blades between his fingers.

“Who says?” Rhett questioned, his tone cocky and joyful.

Link shook his head, rolling his eyes. _Just like you, wanting it all._ “Rhett, come on, everyone wants to do ‘something big’,” he quoted in the air, and employed a mocking tone, “you’re always saying stuff like this,” Link giggled, “you gotta have goals, Dude,” Link said, tossing the balled up grass at Rhett.

Rhett deflected the greenery, grinning from ear to ear. “Link, not everything has to be perfectly laid out and set in stone," he said, exasperated at Link’s lack of imagination. “I just don’t want to get stuck, stuck in a boring life, doing boring things.” Rhett kicked at the ground, tucked his hands in his pockets, and dropped his chin to his chest.

 _You could never be boring._ Link walked to Rhett and nudge his shoulder with his fist. “Alright Rhett, something big, together.” _As long as I’m with you I don’t care._

Rhett’s face brightened, and then his eyes narrowed, his lips curled into a grin.

 _Uh oh._ Link recognized the expression. “What?” he asked hesitantly.

“You got any paper? A pen?” Rhett stepped past Link and rummaging through his bag.

 _What are you up to Bo?_ He turned and watched as Rhett dug though his backpack, pulling out his trapper keeper and ripping a few pages from it. “There’s a pen in the pocket,” Link said, walking to stand next to him, reaching for the zipper. Their hands collided as they both reached for the tab at the same time. Link felt like an electric current was running though him, this happened when they touched unexpectedly. _Woah._

“Uh, sorry Link.” Rhett stepped away.

Link pulled the implement from the pocket. “Alright Rhett, now why do we need these?” Link asked, tossing the pen to him.

Rhett snatched it out of the air deftly. “I just thought that, while I have you convinced, we’d better write this down,” Rhett said as he walked to the rock, resting his back against it and sliding to the ground. “I thought you might like the formality of it.” He twirled the pen in the air, teasing Link with his flippant tone.

Link settled next to him on the ground, his leg brushing up against Rhett’s. _I love being so close to you._ “What should it say?” Link nudged his elbow into Rhett’s side. “‘Something Big’ signed ‘Rhett and Link’?” Link teased.

“Shuuudddup!” Rhett pushed him, laughing.

 _I love this._ Link was glowing, his heart full of appreciation for his friend. _I love you._

“I think it should say: ‘We, Rhett James McLaughlin, and Charles Lincoln Neal, on this the 14th day of June, 1990, do so solemnly swear that we will…’” he trailed off, tapping the pen to the page.

“‘That we will never forget the vow that we make on this day, to achieve something great, together,'” Link chimed in his best announcer voice.

“Hey, now that’s pretty good, Link,” Rhett praised as he scrawled down Link’s words, mouthing them as he wrote. He read it over and gave an approving nod, before he began rooting around in the grass.

 _Now what is he doing?_ Link shook his head. “What now?” he asked, not sure if he wanted the answer.

“Looking for something sharp,” Rhett said as he pulled a small shard of glass from the earth.

Link swallowed hard. “Wh.. what is this, a blood oath now?” Link said, feeling queezy at the thought.

“I think it’s gotta be, Man.” He crossed his legs and turned to face Link. “Here, look, I’ll do it first.” Rhett took the small, ruddy piece of glass and drew it along the palm of his hand, wincing as a small trickle of blood ran out.

 _Oh no._ Link felt his head going fuzzy at the sight of the bright fluid streaming from Rhett’s hand, he wobbled in place before Rhett’s hand grasped his shoulder.

”Woah, Brother…” Rhett said, steadying him, “you alright?” Rhett moved to wipe away the blood when Link stopped him.

“No don’t.” He grabbed Rhett’s wrist, “I want to do this.” _I want to do this with you._ Link steeled his resolve and jutted out his hand. “You’re going to have to do the cutting part though.” _What am I doing?_ He squinted one eye closed and pursed his lips, bracing himself.

Rhett smiled, taking Link’s hand in his own and dragging the shard as gently as possible over the soft skin of Link’s palm.

Link winced as the pressure gave way to a dull sting. He didn’t have a chance to look down at the flowing blood, Rhett had already tightly clasped his hand, the warm liquid was wet between their palms. Link looked into Rhett’s warm green eyes, content and loving. _Together._

“Brothers,” Rhett said, clapping his free hand to Link’s shoulder and pulling him into a hearty and loving hug.

“Brothers,” Link replied. 

\---------------

Link’s eyes welled with tears as the memory filled him to the brim with happiness. They had smeared their bloody palms on the binding documents they created and, though they had long since lost them, they still had each other. _Together._ Link felt a drop of water on the back of his neck, then another on his forehead as he looked up for the source of the first. The sky was now a hazy grey, the moon and stars long since hidden by a cloak of clouds. The drops began to increase in frequency.

Rhett mirrored Link, looking up at the heavens. The sky opened up on them, pouring down cold drops over their tired, emotionally ravaged bodies. _Shit!_ Rhett grabbed at Link’s right hand, pulling him to toward the edge of the pasture. “Come on, Man!” Rhett laughed. “We’re gonna get soaked!”

Link steadied himself, halting their movement. Water soaking through his green army jacket and dampening his t-shirt. He looked at Rhett's jacket clinging to him, showing the lines of his long body. 

Rhett turned at the sudden jolt of their ceased movement. “Link! Come on!” He smiled, water running down through his limp hair, trickling over his face. He reached up pushing the soggy hair from his eyes. He pulled at Link’s hand on last time before giving up the fight, letting his arm go limp.

Link grinned at the feeling of Rhett’s submission. He pulled the taller man toward him; their drenched bodies collided as the water continued to rain down over them. Link grasped at the collar of Rhett’s soaked jacket. His beard was beaded in water, his eyes squinting as it flowed over them. His blond hair flopped over his forehead, the way Link liked. _So, perfect._

Rhett, wrapped his hands around Links back grasping at the wet material of the jacket he wore. _I love this on you._ He brought his mouth to Link’s neck grazing his teeth at the skin below his ear. He hummed into the dampened flesh. Water ran down from Link’s hair, beading on his cheek. He moaned as he brought his face in line with Link’s.

“Together,” Link breathed deeply before pressing his lips to Rhett’s, their tongues dancing as they clung to each other. The passionate embrace ignited a fire inside of Link, he felt like the water soaking their bodies might transform to steam, leaving them dry under the deluge of water. _Forever._

_Always._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fact checked this chapter, but... some details are scarce or vague. The specific dates of the aforementioned oath are fictional. All I could find to indicate an exact time for this was that they were in high school. I know they graduated in 1996, so I selected 1994 (thanks to a reader I have changed the date to be more fitting of the time the oath was completed). 
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> _You can listen to the story of their blood oath in Ear Biscuits - Episode 22: "Rhett and Link - Childhood"_  
>  **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Death Cab for Cutie - Black Sun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuLvFN4n36g)
> 
>  
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/144881815695/link-grinned-at-the-feeling-of-rhetts)


	12. Soul's Mate

Rhett drank in the moment, standing in the rain, the wetness of their bodies pressed together. The heat that radiated out from Link, warming his skin, set his soul ablaze, the cold rain, sent shivers down his spine. The two sensations, so strongly juxtaposed, commingled to create an overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation. _You are what I’ve always wanted, needed._

Link’s mouth moved fervently over Rhett’s, tasting the nuances of him. He moaned into his lover’s parted lips. _Here, this place, with you,_ he pushed his tongue forward, invading Rhett’s mouth, feeling it welcomed and embraced by Rhett’s, _it’s perfect._

Rhett began to feel breathless, buried in Link’s mouth. He broke the kiss gasping desperately for air. He pulled away, water trickled down over Link’s perfect cupids bow, pooling in his parted lips, his blackened eye open slightly, soothed by the cool rain water. Rhett smiled at the beauty before him. _You are everything I’ve ever needed. ___

Rhett, I… The sky flashed, illuminating them drenched, panting, and wanton in the high grass. Link was uncertain if it had been real until a thunderous rumble filled the air, vibrating his chest and exciting him further.

Rhett looked up at sky, the rain was hammering down. It lit for a second time. _Shit._

Link felt Rhett’s hand firmly on his forearm.

“Link, we really have get outta here!” Rhett laughed. “This is just getting crazy now!” He shook his head, releasing Link’s arm and jogging to the rock, picking up his bundled shirt and socks, clapping at his jeans for his phone, glad he’d invested in a waterproof case.

Link watched as Rhett’s long drenched body bent over, appreciating the way his soaked jeans clung to him. _Dang._ Another crash of violent light and sound, closer.

Rhett ran back to Link, grabbing his bicep and dragging him playfully toward the gate. “You look like a downed rat!” he laughed, shaking his head as he unlatched and pulled open the gate. 

Link loved the feeling of Rhett’s strong hand, leading him. The sound of his booming voice put his mind at ease. They passed through the gate and headed toward to bank, the raindrops were impeded by the canopy of tall trees but the ground was slick. Link slipped and stumbled forward. “Uh, woah!” Link said, falling against Rhett’s solid back.

Rhett reached behind himself, clapping his hands around Link’s back, steadying the smaller man. “Easy there!” He chuckled as he took Link’s un-bandaged hand in his own. They’d reached the bank of the creek, it ran high with water, the rainfall fueling a aggressive flow. _Well… I’m not getting back in that._ He felt the hand drop from his, he turned to see Link mounting the log. _No!_

Link steadied himself on the end of the rotting wood, taking a deep breath. The sky called out above him, startling him and he slipped before regaining his balance, arms outstretched.

Rhett reached for him. _Don’t be stupid, you’re already hurt!_ “Wait! Link!” he called.

Link took one final breath before bracing himself for the crossing. _Don’t fall in._ He took off, running at full tilt, his feet squelching against the dampened wood. He looked down at the rushing water below, feeling as though it was waiting to pull him in.

Rhett looked on, his mouth agape. _You’re crazy!_

Link’s foot caught in a furrow and he felt himself being launched forward, he folded his body instinctively, clutching his bandaged hand to his stomach. _Fuck!_ He tumbled onto the opposite bank, the muddy earth caking itself to his jeans and the arm of his jacket.

Rhett watched as Link fell to the ground, where he remained, unmoving. His huddled body illuminated by a flash of lighting. “Link!” Without a thought, Rhett clamored for the fallen tree, crossing it in an instant and dropping to his knees next to Link, the thunder rolled. “Jesus! Are you alright?” He pushed Link’s shoulder, turning his face from the earth, he wore an asinine grin. “Oh for God’s sake!” Rhett laughed as he stood, his knees coated in mud.

Link reached for him. “I meant to do that.” He said, biting at his lower lip.

Rhett snickered. “You scared the shit out of me, Man!” He took Link’s hand, hauling him up from the bank.

“Got you across that log, didn’t it?” Link teased, winking his good eye.

Rhett rolled his. He looked through the trees at the cars. “Let’s get the hell out of this mess!” He ducked through the remaining underbrush, tripping over a branch and falling against Link’s dark blue SUV. Palms laying over the roof.

Link, tripping over the same fallen limb, fell into Rhett as the tall man turned to right himself.

Rhett felt some of the wind knocked from him as Link fell against him for a second time. _You sure are making a habit of that._ His mouth turned up into a smirk as he took in the appearance of the smaller man, now illuminated fully under the street lamp. Link’s hair was matted to his face, concealing the worst of the damage to his eye. _My Link._ A small smear of mud lay on the side of his nose. The right arm of his jacket black with damp earth. He reached up taking the collar of Link’s soaked and sullied jacket, pushing it over is shoulders and pulling it away, throwing it on the roof of the car.

The feeling of Rhett’s hands grazing over his collar bones had Link buzzing. With his jacket peeled from him, the rain began to soak through his blue Henley, reaching the skin below. His head fell back as he drew in a lung full of the damp, weighty air. _Home in your arms._

Link’s exposed throat called to Rhett, begging for attention that he was more than willing to provide. _So fucking beautiful._ He bent forward, placing his parted lips to the base of Link’s throat, sucking gently and grazing the skin with his teeth.

Link’s moans were joined by the eruption in light and sound in the sky above, the storm directly overhead. _I could be struck dead now and die happy._

Rhett reached behind him, grasping desperately for the handle of the rear door, he pulled it, the door gave way, unlocked. He pushed it open awkwardly, releasing his mouths’ hold on Link. _More._ He turned pulling his jacket from his body, and tossing it on the floor of the car, his bare chest now exposed. He climbed into the backseat, his hand outstretched to his dazed lover.

Link took it, feeling his body being pulled, he reached for his jacket on the roof, tossing it to the floor with Rhett’s as he took his place on the seat next to Rhett, closing the door behind them. The rain pattered loudly against the roof, filling the car with a rhythmic sound.

Rhett’s breathing was labored, his chest heaved. He looked over Link's body, his Henley clung to his broad chest, wrinkling in at his narrow waist _I fucking love that on you._ Rhett reached for it, taking it delicately between his fingers at the hem. He lifted it, revealing A blue-grey cotton T-shirt, soaked, Link's nipples peaking through. He looked down at Link’s hand, the bloody bandages soaked through. He took it into his, and carefully removed the layers of gauze, taking his time, turning Link’s wrist as he twirled the material away, dropping it to the floor. “Link…” He looked at the damage, Link’s raw knuckles wrinkled from the dampness, purple and black blotches covered the back of his hand, his pinky finger displaced by slight swelling. _I want to make this go away._ Rhett brought Link’s ravaged hand to his mouth, placing his lips gently to the bruises and nicks.

Link smiled at the sight of Rhett’s loving touch, damp hair tickling his sensitive bruised flesh. _It doesn’t even hurt._ He reached toward Rhett with his free hand, tilting his head up with his bent index finger. “I love you,” he said as their eyes met. He pulled Rhett’s face to his, their lips met and their kiss was filled with passion.

Rhett pulled away, his green eyes hooded with longing. “I love you too, Link” he declared, blinking slowly before he peeled the layer of material still shielding Link’s toned body beneath, dark curls of hair covering his firm pecks leading to his defined shoulders. _So gorgeous._ He pulled it carefully over Link’s head and arm, not wanting to aggravate his wounds. Light from the storm filled the cabin.

Link’s eyes poured over Rhett’s bare chest, his heart beat thrummed in his ear as he took in the magnificent sight, only a few small hairs adorned it, he’d taken to waxing, and Link loved it. A distant rumble of thunder vibrated through them. Link ran his hands over the smooth flesh in front of him, breathing deeply and exhaling a wanton sound. He pushed against Rhett, knocking him back against the opposite door.

Rhett winced as he sucked air through his teeth. His back stinging, his body wrenched awkwardly to the side.

 _Idiot! His back!_ Link froze, hovering over the pained man. “Rhett, I’m sor-” His words were cut short.

“No,” Rhett said, hauling his legs from the floor, and positioning them across the seat, straightening his body and easing the tension in his back. “I’m fine.” The concern clear on Link’s face, hovering over him, filled him with comfort and warmth. _You are what love is supposed to feel like._ Rhett grasped firmly at the nape of Link’s neck, pulling their mouths together again. Natures wrath sounded once again.

Link fell against Rhett’s chest, unable to hold up his weight with only a single arm for long. He melted into the familiar feeling of his partner’s capable mouth. Their tongues moving lazily together as Link reveled in the feeling of their bodies heaped together in the cramped seat. He felt Rhett’s awakening desire hard against his thigh. _I want you._ His own body responding in kind. _I need you._ “Rhett…” he purred as he parted their kiss for only a moment, the sounds of the storm fading from his perception, only sensations of Rhett registered within him.

Rhett’s hands trailed over Link’s back, tracing lines over the defined edges of his shoulder blades, the growing hardness of the man above him against his abdomen, delivering a new level of pleasure. He reached desperately to free the flesh he longed to touch from its damp denim prison. He fumbled with Link’s button and zipper, growing frustrated with each passing second. _I need to touch you._

Link smiled into Rhett’s lips, sensing the larger man’s frustration, a common occurrence in these situations. He ended their kiss, pushing his upper body away until he was straddling Rhett on his knees. _Always so impatient._

Rhett followed him, seeking the contact Link had broken. _Come back._

Link watched as Rhett propped himself up on his elbows before pushed him back to the seat, wagging his finger. Rhett had arrived here, in this place where he’d come longing for comfort, bringing him just that. _Let me comfort you._

 _Fuck, Link! You’re killing me._ Rhett groaned, bringing his hands to his head and running his fingers roughly through his wet locks. In this moment, where so many things were uncertain, Rhett needed this, needed it like oxygen. Like his life depended on it.

Link pulled his glasses from his face, leaning over and placing them on the driver’s seat. He reached for the button of Rhett’s jeans, freeing it easily and sliding down the zipper, surprised to find no further barrier between it and Rhett’s hardened member. _All the better._ He grinned as he wrapped his hand around it.

“Link…” Rhett’s head fell back against the seat, his eyes rolling wildly at the sensation. _You are incredible._ His breath hitching and catching as he struggled to fill his lungs. _You are my soul’s mate._ He pulled his hands from his hair and gripped firmly to Link’s hips, bucking his own.

“I love you,” Link murmured, releasing Rhett from his grasp.

Rhett looked up in response to the loss of stimulation. He watched longingly as Link freed his own desire. _I need to feel you._ He reached for it, encircling it with his large hand. “I’ve always loved you.”

Link grabbed for Rhett’s throbbing flesh once again, stroking it in time with those he was receiving. He’d been convinced that he could never feel this loved again, everything had been, and was still was, so broken. Changed. _This will never change._ He writhed at the incredible sensation of Rhett’s touch, his hand on his lover’s wanton flesh, and the emotional release of allowing Rhett back into his heart. _This is forever._ His body ached for release, needing to be free of the tension building in his gut. “Oh, God.” He looked down into Rhett’s paralyzing beautiful grey-green eyes, as they fluttered closed, his mouth parted, tongue pressed softly to his lower lip. _You are my forever._

Rhett wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold himself back. Link’s skillful hand worked him over, driving him to the edge of release. His eyes focused in brief moments on the handsome man that sat astride him. A man he had spent his life with, a man he knew better than he knew himself, a man he longed to spend every day of the rest of his life with. _Forever, Link._ Pressure began to build and he began to thrust sharply in time with Link’s movements, his body hungry for release.

Feeling Rhett bucking beneath him, had Link straining to hold back his orgasm. _I need to be with you._ “I want you to finish with me, Rhett,” Link moaned, tossing his head back.

Link’s words were fuel to the already burning flames. “I’m so close.” He chewed at the inside of his lip. “Come with me, Link,” he begged, with breathless desire.

Link held nothing back. “Rhett!” He called as his climax coursed through him, building from the base of his spine and rocking him to his core. The evidence of his pleasure splattered over Rhett’s working hand as the larger man’s own spilled out, pooling on his stomach.

“Link…” Rhett panted. “Link, I love you so much.” Rhett felt a tear roll down his cheek. _I love you so fucking much it hurts._

Link fell forward onto Rhett’s chest, feeling the warm fluid between them. He was content. The sounds of the rain had ceased and Link could not recall when they'd stopped. Everything was perfect in this moment. _I love you more than you could ever think possible._ He opened his mouth to speak the words that had run through his mind. “I lov-” he was cut short by a jarring sound from beneath him. A cell phone.

Rhett’s heart stopped. The familiar tone sent a wave of anxiety through his entire body, quickly replacing the desire, pleasure, and release he had been overwhelmed with only a moment ago. _Jessie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 <3  
> RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Joshua Raiden - Winter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHlf08yTPiU&list=LLsPQA5b3Z2PunnuKxgolHLA&index=57)
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By @Valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/144907761515/a-small-preview-of-the-new-illustration-that-im)  
> [By @Valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/144913954700/rhetts-breathing-was-labored-his-chest)


	13. In the Rear-View

Link’s body went rigid against Rhett’s. He recognized the familiar tone of the ringing phone. He’d spent enough time with Rhett working long hours and on the road to know he’d set a tone for his wife. _Jessie…_ His fluttering heart skipped in his chest. _What have we done?_ He pulled his body away from Rhett, their sticky union clinging to him. It rang out again.

Rhett fumbled for his phone, tucked in his back pocket, the sound of ringing, muffled by the seat cushion. He felt Link’s weight shift away. _No._ and he wanted with every part of himself to pull the smaller man back to his chest, to ignore the ringing phone, to be present in the beautiful, precious moment they had just shared. _You have to answer it._

Link reached down pulling his damp t-shirt out of his Henley and wiping away the evidence of their passion. “Answer it, Rhett,” he said, averting his eyes and tossing the shirt to Rhett. _We shouldn’t have done this, not now._ He zipped his jeans and pushed Rhett’s legs aside, settling on the seat next to him, _not with things…_ The phone sounded a third time. he looked over at Rhett, who was still stunned. “Answer it!” Link felt himself losing his temper. _How could you have thought everything could be like it was?_

Rhett shook himself from his stupor, quickly wiping his stomach with Link’s shirt, sliding himself to a seated position, and pulling the phone from his pocket. The screen read **‘Jessie’**. He swallowed hard. He was suddenly struck by the realization that, he wasn’t ready to have the conversation he feared was waiting for him when he answered. _Breathe._ He drug his finger slowly over the screen, reluctantly accepting the call.

He could hear a few muffled sounds on the other end before he spoke. “Hello?”

The other end of the line was quiet.

“Jessie?” Rhett implored.

Link looked away from the pained expression Rhett wore, suddenly feeling as though he were intruding. He pulled on his damp Henley, the cold fabric soothed his still flushed skin; his heart was still racing from the intensity of the emotions and sensations that had coursed through him. He reached for the handle of the door, pulling it and pushing the door ajar, when he felt a firm hand on his elbow.

Rhett’s finger tips dug in. _Don’t you dare leave me._ He begged silently with his eyes.

Link stared into fearful, doubting, green orbs. His heart ached for Rhett; this phone call could change everything, for them both. _I’m not going anywhere._ Link pulled the door closed , and turned to face the panicking man at his side.

“Jessie!” Rhett’s voice cracked as her name fell over his tongue.

 **“Daddy?”** A small voice said, another sounded in the background full of giggles and an audible smile.

Rhett felt his heart lurch in his chest, his eyes instantly red and wet with salty tears. _Oh, God…_ He felt himself falling apart. His body felt like it was full of lead, weighed down by the magnitude of the life he had chosen with each small decision he’d ever made. _How did I get to this place?_ “Yeah, Son,” he managed to choke out, his voice sounding meek and breathy, “It’s me.” _I need to be with my children._

Link’s head shot up from its downward stare. _The kids._ A lump built in his throat. He looked on as Rhett’s expression grew darker, more tortured with each passing second. In that moment, he was both envious and relieved. Envious, that Rhett was hearing the sounds of his children’s words, but relieved to not being going through the hell of hearing them ask questions, hearing the longing and worry in their small voices.

Rhett could hear small sound, coming through the lines. The clanging of toys and the quiet laughter of his smallest son.

 **“Mom said you had to work.”** A small squeal sounded from the background. **“Shhhhhhh!”**

Rhett’s mouth tried to turn up into a smile, but never made it. _Always bickering._

 **“When are you coming- ”** The young voice began to ask before a loud sound interrupted him.

 _A door?_ He heard Jessie’s voice, loud but distant.

 **“What are you doing with that!?”** The footfalls grew louder, muffled sounds of fabric against the microphone. “Hello?” Her voice came clearly over the line.

Rhett panicked, his nerves still frayed from the brief conversation with his beloved child. _She hadn’t meant to call…_ He contemplated hanging up briefly before determining that it was childish and that she would easily be able to determine who was on the line. _Grow a pair and speak!_

 **“Hello?”** she repeated, exasperated and tired.

Rhett could sense her frustration, building more quickly than was normal for the usually even tempered woman. _You did that to her. She’s there alone with the kids._ He knew she was about to hang up when he finally spoke. “Jessie…”

She inhaled quickly, a small gasp escaping but, she remained silent.

“Jessie, I…” _What the hell do I say? _“I…. The kids, they…” Rhett stumbled, his voice high and uncertain, the tension creating a taut feeling in his throat as he struggled to complete a single coherent sentence. His lungs seemed to grow smaller, his chest tight.__

Link wished he could pluck Rhett from this moment, take him away, spare him this pain. His brow furrowed in concern as he laid his palm over Rhett’s thigh. _I can’t do anything else._

Rhett felt the anxiety beginning to overwhelm him, faltering as the feeling of Link’s hand held it at bay. “They called, I-”

 **“Stop talking, Rhett,”** she cut in, her voice was cold and curt.

Rhett swallowed hard, his heart pounded against the inside of his breastbone. His eyes fell to the hand on his lap; he laid his own over Link’s. _I don’t think I can do this without you._

 **“I didn’t want to have this conversation…"** Her voice broke, betraying her previously abrupt tone. **"Over the phone."**

 _Oh, Jessie…_ He let out a huff of air, biting back the words he wanted to say. _I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I had to tell you._ He hated himself for thinking those words would be enough. _Don’t say a fucking word to her, not if it’s going to be that pathetic._

**“Rhett, I can’t do this."**

A shot to the gut. _This was coming… you knew this was coming._ He pulled his hand from Link’s, turning to look out the window. The rain had stopped but slow trickles of water still ran slowly over the fogged glass. _Isn’t this what you wanted?_ He felt guilty for his thought, but couldn’t deny the truth in it. He had long felt his life with Jessie was a lie, a fabrication. A construct that he had grown comforted by but, one that could not satisfy him in the way that he’d longed for. _The way he can…_

Link placed his hand on Rhett’s upper arm, pulling himself closer, resting his forehead against the larger man’s shoulders.

 **“I want a divorce,"** she said, her voice terse once more. She fell silent.

Rhett listened to her irregular breathing, she was waiting for a response, a rebuttal, a plea. _There’s nothing I can say, nothing._ He was overcome with guilt at the lie of a life he had forced this beautiful woman to suffer. She deserved more respect than he had offered. He unexpectedly felt a pang of resentment for the man resting against his back. _I’d wanted to tell her so many times._ He shrugged Link’s hand away.

Link recoiled, staring at the back of Rhett’s dampened hair.

 **“I’m keeping the house.”** Her voice was full of emotion now, tears evident in the wet sounds of her snuffling. She paused again.

Hearing her cry, knowing he was the cause, that he had brought her to this place. The guilt was overwhelming.

 **“Say something!”** she yelled, as she began to sob into the phone.

Link could hear Jessie’s voice carry though the car’s interior, bouncing and reverberating with the depth of her pain. _We have hurt so many people._ He turned from Rhett, not able to watch any more. Jessie’s sobs filled his head. He shoved his fingers in his ears, unable to listen to the mournful sound any longer.

Rhett's eyes burned as the tears pushed their way over his eye lids. “Jessie…” He wanted to say everything and nothing at the same time. Nothing seemed right, every soothing word seemed disingenuous. He wished he was driven to beg, to try to fix things, to be the husband she always thought he was. _But you’re not._ He thought back to the feeling he’d had only a few hours ago, standing in the light of the setting sun, finally free of the burden that years of deception and falsehoods that had plagued him. _You’ve never been what she needed or, was owed._ He balled his fist and drove the heel of his hand into his forehead. _You have to let her go._ Tears flowed freely over his face, collecting in his beard and trickling down his neck. “Okay…” He spoke the only word that held any truth in that moment.

Her sobbing stopped abruptly, rapidly replaced with quick angry breaths. **“You’re serious!?”** she yelled.

The force of her words cut through Link’s pathetic attempt to protect himself. He wanted to open the door, let the heavy air spill into the night but, he’d made a silent promise to be with Rhett, to not leave him. _Face what you have done._ His body felt drained of the earlier joy and elation he had felt in the embrace of his lover, replaced with anguish and sorrow. _Accept the consequences._ He removed his hands from his ears. _You don’t get to hide from this because it’s hard._

Rhett sat silently, listening to her erratic breathing, her desperate tears.

 **“Tha…”** she sputtered. **“That’s it then?”** Her words were plagued with torment. **“You’re not going to fight for this?”** She sucked air through her running nose. **“For us?”**

He felt like his heart was being ripped to shreds. _There’s nothing left to fight for._ He couldn’t bring himself to crush her with that truth but, there was no going back. He spoke the only words that would form on his lips. “I’m sorry.” _Asshole._

 **“Fuck you!”** she screamed.

Link winced at her words, heavily laden with angst and pain. He cradled his broken hand, the ache, soothed by earlier caresses and love, had returned.

Rhett pulled the phone from his ear, squinting and drawing his lips together in a tight line.

 **“Fuck you,”** she continued. **“Don’t call here.”** Her voice became steadier as her resolute words continued. **"Don’t come here."**

 _No,_ Rhett began to panic, he knew that he could no longer stand to exist in the lie he’d been forced to live, but his children were everything to him. “Jessie, the kids,” he moaned, his voice heavy with begging undertones.

 **“Don’t you dare bring them into this,”** she spat. **“You will see them when, and _if_ , I say.”**

 _If?_ His eyes widened, his breath coming fast. “Jessie, please! You can’t keep them from me!” he cried out. _No!_

Link’s eyes welled with tears, they spilled from his eyes. _You told him this wouldn’t happen._ He cupped his face in his hands. _He will never forgive you for costing him those boys._

**“We'll see.”** Her voice was angry, but riddled with discernible pain. 

The line went dead.

“Jessie?” He shook the phone violently in his hand. “Jessie!” He clenched his fist around it before thrusting it forward and striking the headrest of the seat in front of him. He winced, as his hand absorbed the impact.

Link reached for his hair. _What the fuck have we done?_ He clasped the dark strands tightly between his fingers. His eyes were clenched closed as he gritted his teeth, exhaling loudly through slightly parted lips. The tension on his damp locks sent tingles over his scalp that burned.

Rhett opened the door, cramming his phone back into the pocket of his still rain dampened jeans. He climbing out and moved to stand in the middle of the road. _No, I can’t lose them._ He spun around slowly, hoping this place, which had provided him with such clear answers and comfort only an hour earlier, could do the same again. “No!” he screamed out as he tossed his head back, baying his bare chest to the sky above as he collapsed to his knees on the hard pavement, his hands buried in his hair, clawing for anything tangible. He was losing himself. He looked up, the clouds were moving off, revealing heavenly lights once more.

Link grimaced at the sound of Rhett’s grief-stricken call. He pulled his lower lip between his teeth, biting it gently as tears streamed readily down the side of his nose and cheeks. _I’m so fucking sorry._ He drew in a sharp breath through his nose. _I wish I could take it away._ He began to weep, his head falling between his knees, his hands clasped around the back of his head, nails dragging at his skin. _I can’t fix this._

Rhett pulled his hands from his hair and they fell limply, coming to rest palms up on his thighs. The gleaming metal ring on his finger caught the growing light of the moon, gleaming. He twisted it around once before roughly ripping it from his hand. “Fuck you!” he screamed as he threw it into the darkness. His hands balled into fists as they pressed to the pavement, his head falling between them, his back contorted and painful as his tears joined the rain water in soaking the dark surface.

Link felt like a piece of him was evaporating into nothingness. The sound of Rhett falling apart, eating away at his soul. _Go to him._ Link slid across the seat, his wet jeans clinging to the material. His feet met the gravel shoulder, his eyes fell on the crumpled figure, an image to accompany the tortured sounds. His heart caught on fire in his chest, his lungs burning. He wasn’t sure what dying felt like, but he imagined it was much like this. _I can’t fucking help him!_ He drug his hand through his hair, his breathing was rapid and unsteady. _Try!_ He took a few hesitant steps toward the trembling figure before him. _You need to try._

Rhett could hear the approach, and he was suddenly filled with rage. _Get away from me._ He straightened on his knees.

Link reached for him, grasping his shoulder gently.

“Get your fucking hand off of me!” Rhett’s words shocked him. _Stop. Don’t push him away. You need him._

“Rhett, please!” Link begged. _Don’t._

 _Link, I need you._ His words came forcefully from him, “I said, don’t touch me!”

Link pulled his hand to his chest. _Rhett, no._

The taller man got to his feet, facing away from Link. _I wish things were different._ “I can’t be here.” Rhett wanted nothing more than to stay and let this beautiful man comfort him but, looking at Link only reminded him of what he had lost and what he may still. It was too painful.

Link felt Rhett slipping away from him and it filled him with grief. “We can…” Link spluttered, knowing his words were useless. _He’s leaving._ “We can go where ever you-” His words were trampled.

“I can’t be here!” Rhett yelled, turning to face Link. _Oh, God. I need you._ “I can’t be with you!” he bellowed, pushing Link away. _No!_ His words betrayed him but he couldn’t stop them from flowing out. 

Link stumbled backward. _He’s leaving me, again._ He hung his head.

Rhett begged with his body to allow him to reach out and pull Link to him, to burrow into the warmth of the man he loved but, his body moved forward and past him. _Don’t let me leave, Link._

Link turned, clearing a path. _Let him go._

_No._ He pulled at the handle of his car, throwing himself into the seat and yanked the door closed. He looked out at Link, his wet eyes fixed on the ground. _I love you._ He shifted the car into drive and pulled onto the road, he watched in the rear-view mirror as Link looked up. _I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was the most emotional I have been while writing, during this chapter. It may not have the same effect on each of you but, you have all been so caring and supportive that I wanted to share some of my experience as an author.
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [The Yawning Grave - Lorn Huron](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmtCz1a3ikc)  
> [Amber Run - I Found](https://youtu.be/Yj6V_a1-EUA)
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/145061844200/remembertherandler-soooooosince-i-am-not-sure)  
> [By @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/145100273905/forgive-us-our-trespasses-ch-13)
> 
> **My Cover:**  
> [I Found](http://remembertherandler.tumblr.com/post/145105184895/valvenaut-i-have-no-idea-how-to-put-into-words)


	14. Careening

Link stood in the road, watching Rhett drive away for a second time. His heart felt like a wretched shriveled version of itself. _No._ He walked to his car, leaning against the driver door. _Not again._ He wanted to hate Rhett for leaving him, standing alone in the dark, cold and damp; like to despise him for denying them, the comfort they needed from one another now more than ever. But, every fibre of his being felt only sorrow and pity. _I know why._

Link pushed himself from the car, turning to face the open rear door. The floor of the backseat was covered in crumpled clothing. He plucked Rhett’s maroon jacket from among the heap, the material was soft, and damp. He felt the familiar burn of burgeoning tears in his eyes as he rubbed the material between his fingers. He let himself sink into sorrow for only a moment before it was replaced by indignation and purpose. _I’m not going to let you leave me…_ he clasped the damp jacket to his chest, _not again._ He pushed the rear door, before throwing open the driver’s and climbing in. _Not again._

He turned the key in the ignition, pulling his seat belt across his chest as he steered onto the road. He turned on the windshield wipers, clearing the beads of water that muddled his view. The road was dark and wet. Link sped along the winding road toward town. _He had to have gone this way._ It was getting late and there weren’t many cars on the road. _That rental will stick out._ The sparsely placed street lights cast their light over the slick pavement, the glare creating a yellow glow in the dark night.

The road leading into Buies Creek from Keith Hills was a familiar one, the bends came and went. His eyes darted, searching for any sign of Rhett, until he caught his reflection in the rear view mirror. His eye was blacker now; the swelling had spread to his temple, his hair in disarray. _Jesus Christ._

He looked back to the road, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with the back of his hand. He sucked air through his teeth, wincing as they dug into his swollen eye. _Fuck!_ He hit the steering wheel, his hand burned. “Fuck!” He was growing frustrated, his weak body, injured and cold, adding to his fragile state. _Where the hell are you!?_

He was speeding, trying to find the man that had left him standing in the road, as he approached a sharp curve in the road. The pavement held a large pool of water. _Shit!_ He swerved, to avoid hydroplaning, drifting over the median; he jerked the wheel into the skid, pressing the break to the floor. “Oh, shit!” He gritted his teeth, gripping hard to the leather wheel in his hands, his knuckles white with the pressure of his hold, the adrenaline coursing through his veins keeping any pain at bay.

The tires squealed loudly as the SUV fishtailed in the road before turning abruptly, jarring to a stop near the shoulder, facing the adjacent field. His grip remained firm on the wheel, as he inhaled deeply, the tension in his shoulders subsiding. _Jesus…_ His heart raced in his ears, the shock caused his head to buzz. His eyes were closed, face tipped toward the wheel. _Idiot… driving like a fucking idiot._

After gathering himself for a moment he looked up. The headlights sprayed into the distance, catching a mist in the air. _Fog?_ Link focused his gaze, peering through the haze. A dark sedan came into soft focus, the sedan he had watched speed away only minutes ago, it’s font end crumpled into a tree, the engine emitting soft plumes of smoke and steam, the source of the foggy haze. His eyes blew open as he gasped, clapping his hand to his mouth. _Rhett!_

\---------------

Rhett averted his eyes from the reflection of the broken man shrinking in the distance. _Link… I’m sorry._ He barreled down the road, his mind full of worry and confused feelings. Jessie had ripped a part of his soul from him. _If?_ He rubbed at the rut in his finger where his ring had resided. He punched at the steering wheel _I can’t lose my boys._

He pressed the gas pedal further, traveling quickly down the familiar road, he didn’t have a plan or a destination, he just needed to get away. He felt sick, nauseated by the reality of what he may face. His breathing became labored as he struggled to gather oxygen. He rolled down the window, the cool air streamed in and he took in deep drags of it, trying to clear his head.

The smell of freshly fallen rain, mixed with earth from the surrounding crop fields, lived in the air that filled his lungs, a gentle reminder that he was home, where he had come here in search of a truth. He’d come home to finally feel free from a burden that a decade of lies had placed heavily on his back. To finally accept what he’d known for most of his life, that he loved the man who was supposed to be his friend, someone he was never meant to love, but did, more than he’d thought possible.

In this moment, when he felt so lost, he’d driven away from the only comfort he had in the world. _Why!?_ He lifted his hand from the wheel, punching his thigh. _You can fight for the kids, but if you leave him now…_ he placed his palm against his bare chest, _you may truly end up alone._

As he barreled down the rain-blackened asphalt, he was filled with a certainty that had eluded him until this very moment. “Not without Link.” He said, his voice solid and unyielding. He rolled the window closed, he no longer needed the reminder, he’d made his decision. _Link._

He reached in his pocket, clasping at his phone. He held it in his hand, resting it against the wheel. His eyes fixed on his phone, his finger hovering over Link’s contact. He looked up at road and was confronted by the sharply banking turn just ahead. Panic overwhelmed him, his eyes widened as he grasped frantically for the wheel. _Son of a bitch!_

His phone slipped from his hand, falling into the foot-space of the passenger seat. He gripped the wheel, trying to correct, but he was going too fast, the road was too wet. The wheels careened into the large pool of standing water, sending the car into an uncontrolled skid.

Rhett clambered to make sense of it. _Is this it?_ His mind was suddenly awash in images, his true surroundings fading away. His children’s smiling faces, as clear as if they were standing before him, stared up at him, their bright and joyful expressions filled him with joy. His parents, holding each other, tenderly, in the kitchen window, happy. Link, flashes of the moments he had shared with the man that he loved, watching him grow before his eyes in an instant. From an innocent goofy child, to the confident and mesmerizing man who he longed to hold, to be with now, if only to say goodbye.

The world flooded back in, the sound of the wheels in gravel, his seat belt digging into his chest as the vehicle bounced and jarred over the rough ground. Rhett watched helplessly as the car barreled toward a large tree. He closed his eyes, bracing himself. _I love you._

\---------------

”Rhett!” Link called out again, clawing for the door handle, fighting with the seat-belt, unable to get a grip on it, his fingers fumbling before finally freeing himself.

He tripped over his feet as he clambered out of the car, grabbing for the swinging door to right himself. _No, no, no, no!_ He felt like his legs would give out, as if made from nothing but amorphous jelly. He tried to run, but his feet would not carry him. He stumbled forward, reaching for an invisible rope to help him stay upright. “Rhett, please!” He cried out, his voice broken, the words sounding more like a pained howl.

His footing faltered yet again as he traversed the narrow ditch, he grabbed at the trunk of the sedan, pulling himself forward. The smell of the damaged engine was heavy in the air, stinking and burning. He reached forward grasping at the sill of the driver’s window. _Please._

Rhett sat stooped over the steering wheel, the deflated airbag pinned under his bare chest. His arms hung limply at his sides. His head tilted to the side, facing away from Link. He was completely still.

“Rhett!” Link screamed. _Oh, God! No!_ He reached for the handle, pulling desperately, it squeaked and groaned but would not yield, the force of the impact displacing the metal, sealing the entrance. _No!_

He slammed his fists against the window. “Rhett! Fuck! No..." His forehead came to rest against the glass.

 _You need to call for help!_ He dropped his hands from the glass, gripping at the pockets of his jeans. _Shit!_ His phone was still in the SUV. _I can’t leave him._ He pushed away from the glass, feeling his way around the car to the passenger door. _Please._ He gripped the handle and the door gave way.

Link dove into the front seat, reaching frantically for Rhett, he learned awkwardly over the center console. Rhett’s eyes were closed, a gash on his forehead, over his left eye, oozed crimson. The hair of his temple coated in the thick fluid. Link took Rhett’s face carefully between his palms, blood running down through his fingers. “Fuck! Rhett! No!” He reached his trembling hand below the bleeding man's chin, seeking a pulse. “Please no!”

His fingers came to rest against a steadily thrumming vibration. “Oh, thank God!” Link’s forehead head dropped between his arms, a light illuminated the space in front of the seat he was kneeling on. _Rhett’s phone._

He relinquished his grip, wiping the blood across his chest, it soaked into his shirt, feeling warm against his skin. He reached down and grabbed at Rhett’s phone, the screen was lit, his contact open. _Oh, Rhett. If this is my fault I will never forgive myself._ He closed the contact and dialed 911.

As the phone rang in his ear, he looked out the mostly shattered windshield, his eyes widened as he realized where they were, the soccer field, where Rhett had defended him against a relentless bully when they were only children. The moment Link felt, what he was sure was, love for the first time. He turned back to Rhett’s slumped body, placing his palm softly against his cheek, the other clasping the phone to his ear. _I fucking love you._

The feeling of Link’s warm hand against his cheek stirred him deep within. Rhett’s eyes fluttered open and in his clouded vision, Link’s face stood out.

“Rhett!” Link was overcome by the sight of Rhett’s green eyes. He was there. He was alive. Link lifted his shoulder, pinning the phone to his ear and running his other hand gently through Rhett’s hair. “I love you.”

Rhett smiled weakly, content. _Heaven._ Link’s voice was the most beautiful sound he could imagine in this moment.

“Yes, there’s been an accident…” Link’s words disintegrated into silence.

\---------------

_A flash of bright light, a gloved hand._

_A soft palm against his own. ___

_Sirens._

_Masks… tubing… beeping… silence._

\---------------

Rhett stood, his hand wrapped in Link’s. The sun shining down, the heat of it soaking into his skin, warmed him to his core. He looked over at the beautiful man at his side. His eyes shielded behind green sandblasted sunglasses, his grey 'pie hole' T-shirt clinging to his perfect body, broad shoulders jutting out proudly. He was wearing one of Rhett’s favorite pair of jeans, they hugged his hips. On his feet, black flip flops. _Perfect._ Link was looking ahead, a wide smile on his face.

Rhett looked down at their joined hands; something on his left ring finger drew his eye, not his wedding band, something different, wider covered in small markings, engravings. He looked over at Link’s to find a matching one.

“Would you look at them,” Link gestured ahead. His voice was low, smooth and relaxed. Slightly different than Rhett remembered, free.

Rhett was enraptured with the beauty before him, but tore his gaze away, following the line of Link’s slender arm with his eyes. His heart leapt in his chest. Under the shade of a large tree, five children ran circles around two small dogs, laughing, teasing and playing. Their smiling faces full of joy as their laughter carried through the air. Jade and Barbara’s small excited yelps rang out as they rolled together in the grass, nipping and pawing.

Rhett bit at his lower lip, trying to hold back the emotions that were flooding to the surface. _This is perfect._ He reached up, placing his hand on his forehead, running it down over his cheek before it came to rest gently over his mouth, then finally falling from his chin and dropping to his side. He felt Link squeeze his hand.

“I love you, Rhett.”

Rhett looked up to see that Link had pushed his sunglasses up, resting them in his hair, sending a few hairs astray. His head cocked to the side. His eyes gleamed in the bright sunlight, his mouth turned up into a lop sided, but hauntingly beautiful, smile.

Just as he began to part his lips, to mirror Link’s sentiment with his own declaration, the image began to fade, to dim and gray out, leaving blackness in its wake. Though the feeling of Link’s hand in his remained.

\---------------

_Rhythmic beeping._

_Voices, distorted and distant._

_Steady breathing, close. ___

\--------------

Rhett opened his eyes, the room coming into focus; he squinted at the bright fluorescent lights. He looked down at his feet that were covered in a thin cotton blanket, his arm, sprouting tubing leading to an I.V. stand next to where he lay. The smell of antiseptic hung in the air. His nose was dry, he rubbed his upper lip against the tubes protruding from it. _The hospital._

He recalled the accident, his head aching slightly, likely dulled by the influence of the drugs being pumped into his arm. He reached for his head with his right hand, wincing, squinting and clenching his teeth as he grazed over the stitches on his brow. He closed his eyes and a faded image filled his mind. _Link...._ He had been there. _Hadn’t he?_ Rhett panicked for a moment, his skin flushing with goose bumps, before he finally registered the warmth in his left hand.

He looked down, his large hand clasped tightly in a familiar, strong, beautiful one. He followed the lines of Link’s arm to his broad chest, his blue Henley stained with blood, his chest rising and falling slowly. His head was flopped awkwardly to the side, resting near the edge of the bed. A five o'clock shadow had formed on his face. Rhett smiled weakly, still dazed, but maybe the happiest he'd ever been. He was still alive, and he was with Link. _I’ll never leave you again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just LOVE to each and every one of you!
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Kodaline - All I Want](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ)
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By: @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/152479054017/the-feeling-of-links-warm-hand-against-his-cheek)  
> [By: @rhettyandlinkipoo](http://rhettyandlinkipoo.tumblr.com/post/145066438172/i-couldnt-study-without-getting-this-out-of-my)  
> [By: @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/145303467350/he-reached-up-placing-his-hand-on-his-forehead)


	15. Breaking Protocol

Link paced back and forth, bright fluorescent bulbs cast harsh light over his surroundings. The air smelled sterile and was dry in his throat. His body ached, his wounds throbbing with the strength of his pulse. His mind raced with thoughts of Rhett’s limp body, bleeding and broken. _I should never have let you walk away!_ He ran his hand through his hair, dried remnants of crusted blood flaked off, sprinkling his forehead. He pulled his hand away and stared at both of his palms. Rhett’s blood stuck in the creases of them and in edges of his fingernails. He looked down over his shirt, caked in the same. He felt sick. _If you hadn’t let him walk away._ He looked at the closed door, behind which lay his dearest friend and soul mate. _I need to see him!_

He turned, pushing past a small crowd surrounding the nurse’s station, shoving them to the side as he slammed his palms against the counter, ignoring the pain in his hand. “You need to let me see him!” Link hollered, his voice full of rage and desperation. _You can’t keep me from him!_

A shocked nurse looked up from her screen, her eyes darting over his features. “Sir, I’ve told you.” She slid her reading glasses down over her nose, peering up at him, pity in her expression. “We can only allow visitation from immediate fam-”

Link stomped on her words, bellowing back. “This is fucking horse shit!” He slammed his hands down again before pushing off from the desk, spinning around and clasping them behind his neck. _I am his family. _He clenched his jaw, tension building in his neck as he poured over the events of his arrival at Harnett County Hospital.__

He’d traveled with Rhett in the ambulance, holding his hand, never letting it go, bending to place gentle kisses to it, his tears streaming over their intertwined fingers. The trip to Lillington had been short but, all the while, Link professed his love. Rhett’s eyelids had fluttered a few times as he struggled to speak before the paramedics administered a shot that stilled his movements. Link had stroked Rhett’s limp arm as he climbed out the ambulance, passing through large sliding doors into the emergency room. The paramedic’s voices had been a distant echo as they called out their arrival, a nurse grabbed onto the rails of the gurney; she’d pushed at Link’s hands, forcing him to relinquish his hold. As she’d wheeled Rhett away, his hand fell limply off the side of the rolling bed. Link’s heart had shattered into millions of fragmented shards, watching Rhett disappear through the swinging doors.

The image had burned itself into Link’s psyche, torturing him more and more with each passing second that he was denied access to Rhett. Deprived of the comfort Rhett’s presence would bring him, and prevented from offering it in return, left Link quivering with anxiety and guilt. _I could have stopped this._ He turned back to the woman at the desk.

“Well, have you been able to get in touch with his family then!?” Link screamed at her, throwing his hands in the air. _Now I can’t even hold you. Be with you._ Other patients and waiting families had begun to stare. “Because, I don’t see _them_ standing here!” His anger was intensifying, combining with worry and remorse.

Link had provided the hospital with contact information for Rhett’s parents, and Jessie. He had to. He knew that it was the right thing to do. Regardless of how they’d reacted to the truths that Rhett had revealed, they deserved to know, they needed to know. He hadn’t had the nerve to call them himself. _They wouldn’t have answered._ He scoffed to himself. _I’m the last person they would speak to._

“We’ve left messages with the next of kin you provided,” She said, standing and removing her glasses completely. She looked over him, her eyes lingering on the obvious, his bruised eye, his battered hand, and his bloody clothes. “Why don’t you let me take a look at you.” She turned to another attendant behind the desk, beckoning him to take her place as she stepped around the counter, reaching toward him. “That looks pretty bad.” She pulled a glove over her hand, gesturing at his.

“I’m fine.” He yanked at the sleeve of his t-shirt in a pathetic attempt to try to cover up. He covered his bruised knuckles with his other hand, attempting to shield it from her.

“And your eye.” She lifted her hand to his stubbly chin, tilting it and tipping his face into the light.

He leaned away, brushing his messy hair down over the worst of the damage. “I said, I’m fine.” He’d actually been glad of his injury and his disheveled appearance, it would make him harder to recognize in such a familiar place. The last thing he wanted was to be pestered and prodded. He looked down at the caring woman before him. Her face painted with concern and worry.

“Just let me look at it.” She brushed the hair away, grimacing at the bruise and abrasions, placing her thumb over the cut in his eyebrow. “That could really use a stitch or two.” She pulled her hand away.

“I don’t need stitches.” _I need him._ He stepped back from her. _I need him!_ His face was hot with his growing frustration. “Clearly you can’t help me!” He brought his fingers to his lips, gnawing at the skin around his nails, tasting the metallic flavour of blood. He began to pace, frantically once more. “Just let me fucking see him!” he yelled out. The room around him fell silent, he could feel eyes on him, stares from all directions.

“Look... Charles, was it?” She asked, reaching out for his arm, grasping it lightly.

He nodded, sighing deeply, annoyed. _Who gives a shit what my name is?_

“Charles, I can’t let you in there.” Her voice was tortured, clearly feeling the pain and sorrow radiating from him. “I wish I could, but its protocol... until he’s conscious...”

“Fuck protocol!” He threw his arms in the air, turning away from her. “He’s in there because of me!” His voice was desperate and breathy, the words coming out weakly, challenged by the lump in his throat. His body felt like it was giving way to the building anxiety. He was no longer able to remain standing, his knees gave way and he crouched to the floor, grabbing at the hair hanging over his forehead. _I don’t give a shit about your stupid protocol!_

He was overcome with fiery rage and resentment. Everything that had happened throughout most of his life, feeling like a sick joke, as he crouched on the floor, cowering. He felt as though the world was conspiring against him, preventing his happiness at every possible turn. He’d denied the love he knew was true for so long, holding it at arm’s length, in a pathetic attempt to maintain an unsustainable status quo, that perhaps he deserved to have it taken from him. Deserved to have it denied in return but, he wasn’t ready to accept that reality. He’d come too far, _they’d_ come too far, sacrificed too much. 

“Charles?” a small voice sounded from behind him.

 _You can’t keep me from him._ He stood, reinvigorated and resolved. In this moment he wanted for nothing but Rhett. _I’m going to find you._ He turned to face the nurse, he placed his palm on the ball of her shoulder. He looked down at her badge. _Elia_. A lopsided smile formed on his face. “I’m sorry, Elia.” He pushed her gently aside and began to walk briskly toward the closed ward doors, his eyes fixed only on his goal.

“Wait!” she called, reaching for him. “You can’t...” She jogged after him. “Charles!”

Link pushed through the swinging doors. The hallway beyond was wider, full of gurneys, Doctors huddled over charts, an elderly man sat in a wheel chair, a bandage around his leg, an I.V. bag attached to a hook over his head. Link stood still a moment, his eyes darting through the space.

“Charles, stop!” a familiar voice sounded at his back.

He began to rush down the hall looking into the rooms on either side, darting back and forth, weaving through the long corridor, resting against the walls as he searched. “Rhett!” he called out, his hands clasping desperately at door frame after door frame.

“Someone call security.” He heard her voice directed backward, away from him. “Charles!”

 _I’m going to find him._ Link turned a corner, running into a supply cart, knocking a few boxes of tissues and gloves to the floor, his eyes fixed ahead. He stepped around his mess, tripping over it and stumbling. “Rhett!” He cried out again, his eyes were wet. He didn’t know when he’d started to cry, but the tears flowed freely. His heart skipped a beat as he neared the next room. Looking through the small window, his eyes fell on a long, lean, resting figure. _Rhett._

“Sir,” a stern voice rang out.

A hand encircled Link’s elbow, tugging at him. He ripped it away. “Get your fucking hands off me!” His eyes had not left the figure that lay just out of his reach. The hand grabbed for him again and he whipped his head around. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Link spat. He was so close, would the world rip this from him?

A young man, dressed in a black uniform, carrying the typical accoutrements, stood next to the slight nurse. “Sir, please. You know you can’t be back here,” the man reasoned, seeing the obvious desperation on Link’s battered face.

 _No!_ Link pulled his arm free once more before grasping for the handle and pushing open the door. _Rhett..._

Rhett’s large frame lay still in the bed.

Link began to weep, loudly, his hand clasped to his mouth muffling the mournful sounds.

“Sir, I’ve asked you politely.” The security guard stepped into the room.

Link could feel the guard’s approach when a small voice carried into the room.

“It’s okay, Dan.” The soft voice was comforting and low, “It’s okay.” She clasped her hand on Link’s shoulder.

Link turned, to see her mouth was turned up into a small apologetic smile, her eyes glistening with the beginnings of tears. He clenched his lips into a ghost of a smile, trying to hold in the flood of emotion that threatened to breach the levee within him. _Thank you._

“As long as you're sure?” The man took a step back from them, relaxing.

“I’m sure,” she said, her eyes still lingering on Link’s.

The guard shrugged and walked out, lingering briefly before disappearing past the door frame.

Her hand dropped from Link’s shoulder.

Link took a few hesitant steps toward the bed. _Oh, Rhett._ Each breath he drew, caught in his throat. A sob escaped his lips as he brought his hands to rest at the end of the bed.

“I’m going to give you some time,” she said, turning from him and walking toward the door.

Link turned toward the compassionate woman. “Than... thank...” he stammered, struggling to speak the words he wished for her to hear.

“You’re welcome.” She smiled over her shoulder at him, a wet streak visible on her cheek. She continued out the door, closing it behind her, it latched with a small click.

The room buzzed with the sounds of monitors. The lights were dim. The sound of Rhett’s heart monitor was oddly soothing, Link smiled, closing his eyes and listening to its steady rhythm. _It means you’re still with me._ He opened his eyes, taking in the image of his treasured friend and lover.

A hospital gown peeked out from under the thin blanket, the tied strings hanging from the nape of his neck. Oxygen tubing ran from the unconscious man’s nose, an I.V. line tapped to his large hand that rested aside his body. A small cut on his left brow was cleanly stitched closed. He appeared to be otherwise unscathed, outwardly.

Link looked down at his hands and shirt. _All this blood... from that little cut..._

He walked alongside the bed. His left hand was draped widely over his mouth and chin, his right, tracing over the rough cotton fabric, coming to rest against Rhett’s, he clasped it delicately, his tattered fingers stinging with each subtle movement. _I’m so sorry._

Rhett’s chest rose and fell, slowly and steadily. The giant of a man, looked so small and peaceful.

As he watched Rhett’s gentle breathing, listened to the incessant beeping monitors and the drip of the I.V., a deep sense of familiarity ran him through. They had been here before, the roles reversed. Link reached for his glasses, pulling them from his face, holding them between his thumb and forefinger as he rubbed his dampened eyes with the back of his hand. _You were there for me._ He pushed his glasses back onto his face and grabbed for the chair in the corner of the room, never releasing Rhett’s hand from his own. He pulled it close to the bed, settling into it.

 _I will be here for you._ He bent forward, both hands now cupping Rhett’s, rubbing against the plastic I.D. bracelet. He pressed his lips to the back of Rhett’s hand, allowing the gentle caress of them to linger. He recalled the night Rhett had told the story, the story that had led them to this place, to this very moment. He pulled away, leaning his back against the chair, his hands still cupping Rhett’s.

Rhett had poured his heart and soul out that night, exposing his feelings, not knowing if Link would feel the same. He’d been brave in the face of uncertainty and it had resulted in one of the most beautiful memories the two had ever shared. Link recalled the events of that night with immeasurable fondness, but also guilt. He’d never been truly honest with Rhett. Not about everything.

“I should have told you,” he said quietly, his eyes fixed on Rhett’s visible pulse, thrumming through the vein in his neck. “I should have told you that I knew you were there.” His eyes drifted closed, the hazy memory of his beautiful young friend, slumped in a chair, much like the one he now occupied, invaded his thoughts. Link remembered the feeling of Rhett’s hand closed around his own as he lay wounded and broken. It was the only thing he'd remembered from that night but it was as vivid as his most prized memories. “I knew you were there.” He was comforted by his secret admission, the tension drained from him and he felt himself drifting. His eyes fluttered open, taking in one final image of Rhett before his body gave in to its need for rest. _I knew you were there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to extend a special thank you to @mythicalea for helping me with a few medical particulars and about hospital protocol. I have attempted to make this as realistic a representation of the atmosphere as possible. This chapter is dedicated to you my dear friend. Thank you!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
>  
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [The Antlers - Kettering](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8We0FVflGaU)
> 
>  
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/145618655180/just-let-me-look-at-it-she-brushed-the-hair)  
> [By @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/145198764635/i-keep-my-promises)  
> [By @ow3love](http://remembertherandler.tumblr.com/post/146379121570/im-not-proud-of-this-its-been-months-since)


	16. In the Morning Light

Rhett lay still, soaking in the feeling of Link’s hand in his, not wanting to move, not wanting to let go of this moment. Everything was such a mess but, this… this was everything. Link was everything. _How could you have been so stupid?_ Rhett bit down hard on his lower lip, squinting as his eyes dampened, shaking his head weakly. _Leaving him. Driving away._ His mind drifted to the brief moments before the car had struck the tree, he closed his eyes and the same series of images filled his head. Link’s face featuring so prominently in them brought a weak smile to his face. _He was with me. He will always be with me._

Link’s breathing was steady, his body limp in the chair. His brow was slightly furrowed.

 _Just rest._ Rhett could see that Link was not resting peacefully. He moved his thumb gingerly over Link’s in an attempt to sooth, feeling the resting man’s steady pulse thrumming against his palm. _I’m here._ He tried to contain it, but a small sound escaped his lips as he drew in a quick breath. Hating himself for it, knowing it would be enough to wake Link from his precarious slumber.

\---------------

Link’s eyes were fixed ahead into darkness… nothingness. The air tasted stagnant and wet. He listened for keenly, trying to tune into his other senses in the absence of sight. He was confronted by the total absence of sound, feeling like it was tugging at ear drums. His heart’s rhythm accelerated, his skin was cold and clammy. He felt his veins fill with an ominous panic. A small pinhole of light came slowly into being, illuminating a tiny pinprick of the encompassing darkness. It glimmered in the distance. He peered at it, desperate to close the distance that separated him from it, to move away from the cloying dread but, his body felt frozen in place. _Move._ He willed his limbs to obey but they only felt heavier. He tried to speak but his voice was silent. He felt like a prisoner inside of his dysfunctioning body, held down, suppressed. _Help!_ His silent breaths came faster as he tried to call out. _Rhett!_

The light grew brighter, teasing him with the hope of escape. He reached out to it, his hands invisible in front of him in the darkness. The glowing light grew brighter still. He finally felt his body give way, stumbling rapidly toward the growing circle, growing warmer with each clumsy step. A familiar sensation began to wrap itself around him. He smiled, allowing himself to be drenched in comforting waves of relief. _Rhett._ The light enveloped him, replacing the encompassing darkness with blinding white.

\---------------

Link’s right hand was warm, the aching in it soothed by a gentle heat, his neck stiff. His eyes were welded shut with sleep and dried tears. The sounds of the room began to fill his head. A small gasp, bleeping electronic monitors, the hum of the lights. He was suddenly struck by the realization that he had allowed himself to sleep, that he had been dreaming, that he faltered in his vigilance. _No!_ He had promised to watch over Rhett, to be there for him, in case he woke. He willed his eyelids to part, the room was hazy; dim light cast dark shadows around the room. The windows still dark with the night sky. He blinked to clear his clouded vision.

Rhett watched as Link’s eyes focused from their daze. His blackened eye spattered with a yellow tinge, the swelling no longer forcing his eye closed. A small reddened vein traced a line on the white of Link’s wounded eye. Rhett was angry at himself for waking the exhausted man he clung to but, the first glimpse of Link’s bright blue irises had Rhett melting into the bed. The eyes that had followed him throughout his life, that had comforted him in times of need, that looked lustfully at him during passionate embraces, that stared loving into his, every day of his life. _You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen._ His face lit with a smile, his cheeks balling up and his eyes watering just enough to glisten.

Link’s tired eyes fell on their joined hands, squeezing gently before tipping his head, allowing their eyes to meet. Rhett’s smile was like a warm blanket for his soul. _You’re okay._ He mirrored the expression, getting up from his chair and leaning over him. He reached his hand behind Rhett’s head, cupping his neck and pressing a firm, lingering kiss to his forehead. He stared at the wall as his eyes began to stream with tears. _I don’t know what I would have done…_

Rhett closed his eyes, carefully storing away the feeling of this moment in the recesses of his mind. _I love you._

Link pulled his lips away and brought his forehead to Rhett’s, their noses touching. “Don’t you ever do that to me again,” he whispered. “If I lost you…” His voice fell to pieces, cracking and weak, “I… I might–”

“I love you,” Rhett interrupted. “I shouldn’t have left you like th–” Rhett’s pleading tone was plaintive and apologetic.

“Stop,” Link said, pressing his lips gently to Rhett’s for a moment before pulling away and looking into his eyes. “None of that matters now.” He shook his head gently. _You’re alive. You’re here. You’re with me._

Rhett reached for Link, to pull him to his chest, to feel Link’s heart beating against his own but the sound of the door startled him from his revelry. He peered around Link’s looming body to see figures standing in the doorway.

Link turned to see the nurse, who had allowed him to share this beautiful moment, standing in the opening, but she wasn’t alone, Rhett’s parents stood behind her, their eyes full of worry and duress.

Rhett’s mother’s eyes wet with tears. She shoved violently past the nurse stumbling into the room and rushing to the bed.

Link stepped away, releasing Rhett’s hand. He felt a pit growing in his stomach as he registered the loss of the comforting sensation that had pulled him from the darkness of his mind, that had soothed his pain.

“Rhett! My baby!” She began to cry as she pulled his hand into hers, bringing them to her face and kissing every inch of skin she could reach. “Oh God! I’m so sorry.” She placed his hand on his chest and brought the back of her hand to his forehead. “How could we have…? Are you okay?” Her other hand was still clasping Rhett’s against his chest.

Rhett was in shock. The comforting touch of his mother was not something he’d expected to feel again. He’d hoped she would one day forgive him his trespasses, but had prepared himself for a reality in which she would not. He was overcome with gratitude for everything that he was being offered in this moment, life, love, forgiveness, and hope. “I’m fine, Mom.”

Link looked to the door. Rhett’s father stood motionless in the opening. His gaze shifted to the nurse. He smiled weakly and mouthed a thank you, his eyebrows raised, conveying genuine gratitude.

“You’re welcome,” she whispered as she returned his smile. She turned away, looking over he shoulder a moment longer before walking away.

Rhett’s father stepped aside, clearing her path as she departed. He walked into the room and stood behind his wife, his hands on her shoulders as she comforted Rhett. He tore his eyes away from his broken son, turning to look at Link. He pressed his lips together, shaking his head.

Link, sensing the growing tension, began to step toward the door.

“Link, no!” Rhett’s voice rang out. He stared at Link’s back, willing him to stop. _Don’t you leave me._

Link stopped, dropping his eyes to the floor. _It’s the last thing I want._ He took another painful step away feeling the warm feeling that had filled him draining away. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, gripping it firmly, encouraging him to turn. _Just let me leave._ He turned his head, expecting to be met with eyes full of hatred and anger, but instead found Jim McLaughlin’s eyes warm and glistening with tears.

The older man pulled Link to his chest, wrapping his arms around him, cradling Link’s his head to his chest. “Thank you,” he murmured, running his hand over Link’s back. “Thank you for being there for him when we weren’t.”

Link inhaled sharply at the unanticipated kindness.

Rhett’s father grasped at Link’s shoulders, pushing him away and taking in the sight of him. “My God, Son… are you alright?” His face was wracked with concern.

Link was speechless. He’d expected many reactions from Rhett’s father, maybe even a second black eye but, never this. _How?_ Never concern, love, and compassion. “I’m fine, Sir,” was all he could manage, the corner of his mouth turning up into an appreciative smile.

Rhett pulse quickened. His breathing was shallow and stuttered as he watched two of the most important men in his life embrace. _Oh, Dad… Thank you._

He released Link’s shoulders dropping his hands to his sides.

Rhett’s mother turned to them, stepping between them grabbing Link’s shoulders and moving to the tips of her toes to press a kiss to cheek. “Oh, sweetheart.” She looked down over his shirt, at his hand. “What’s happened to you?”

Link reached up clasping his hand delicately to her forearm, looking at her reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’m fine,” he said, forcing eye contact. “I promise,” He smiled, rubbing his hand over her arm.

She pulled him into a firm hug.

Rhett smiled at the scene playing out in front of him. _I’m so lucky._ He shook his head in amazement. His parents loved him, and they loved Link. He knew that but, hadn’t everything changed when he’d revealed the true nature of their friendship, their relationship? As he looked at their smiling faces and their caring touches he pulled air deeply into his lungs, breathing it out through parted lips. _Whatever I have done to deserve this moment, I am truly grateful for._

Link looked over Rhett’s mother’s shoulder at the man he loved. Rhett peaceful expression was like a dose of painkillers, the lingering aches in his tired bones, his hand, his face, fell away, leaving him feeling content and elated.

Rhett smirked before clearing his throat. “Uh, I hate to state the obvious here… but, I _am_ the one in the hospital gown.” He’d never thought that he could be in same room with these three people and feel jovial and lighthearted again.

Link pulled away from the embrace. He was grateful that these people, who had been such a large part of his life could accept him and forgive something he wasn’t even prepared to forgive himself for, and may never be. _Give them some time with him._ “Look, I’m just going to give you guys a few minutes.” He looked at Rhett reassuringly seeing the concern on his face. “I’m just going to get some coffee. I’ll be back.” He placed his palms together at his chest and tipped his head before walking backward toward the door.

The hallway was nearly deserted, the commotion of several hours ago a distant memory. He stepped into a small bathroom. The lights above the mirror were bright and alarming. He squinted. He looked at his reflection, the blood on his shirt now dry and black, his battered eye yellowing with age, stubble peppering his chin. He turned the faucet and placed his hands under the streaming water. Red swirls spiraled toward the drain. Rhett's blood finally washing away, taking with it the anguish of the last three days. Link sighed as his body relaxed, the water running over the knicks on his hand burned but, the catharsis overpowered the pain. He turned off the water and shook the remaining drops from his hands. He took a final look at his reflection, a small smile gracing his features.

Link walked to the lobby, standing for several minutes looking out the large glass windows into the night. The first hints of the morning to come had painted themselves across the lowest reaches of the sky, subtle pink hues creeping up from the horizon. _Beautiful._ Link headed toward the lounge next to the reception desk, the room was small and smelled of stale brewed coffee. He reached in his pocket, pulling out his soggy wallet, the leather sticking together as he pulled at it removing a bill and shoving it into the machine. Link pressed the button, making his selection. A cup fell into place and began to fill with the hot liquid. The display flashed the time. **5:25 am**.

Link groaned, resting his palm against the cool metal surface of the coffee machine. He reached under his glasses rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He tilted his head from side to side, trying to loosen his stiff neck. _Fucking chair._ He was exhausted, but thinking about the events that had transpired only minutes ago left him feeling only happiness. _We can get through this._

He looked down at the steaming drink, grabbing it and turning to head back to Rhett’s room when he felt his pocket vibrate, a muffled ringtone struggling to be heard through the thick material of his jeans. He reached into his pocket pulling out the shaking phone, Rhett’s phone. He looked down at the screen, registering the familiar tone. **Jessie.** Link gasped, jarring the cup in his hand, spilling the scalding fluid on his hand and dropping the cup. It fell from his hand and splattered on the linoleum floor.

“Sh… Shit.” Link had forgotten he still had Rhett’s phone. Of course Jessie would call. “Fuck!” He contemplated answering it. _Don’t be a fucking idiot._ It was not his phone call to answer and hearing his voice on the other end would only make things worse, scare her, rub in the fact that Rhett was with him, that they were together. He let the phone continue to ring as he stepped over the brown puddle at his feet. He walked briskly through reception and found himself outside of Rhett’s room as the phone fell silent in his hand.

Rhett stared through the door at him. “Link?” he asked, his voice weighty with concern.

Link stood in the door frame, leaning against it, allowing it to take some of the weight that had settled on him since the phone had jarred him back into the reality of their situation. _I could still lose you._ Rhett’s room was empty, his parents no longer huddled to his bed. “Where did–” Link began before Rhett cut in.

“I sent them home,” he smiled, patting the bed, inviting Link to sit.

Link reluctantly entered the room, still holding Rhett’s phone in his hand.

“The doctor came by while you were gone,” Rhett grinned, sitting up and beckoning with his large hand. “He said I would be released in a couple of hours. It seemed silly for them to stay,” He sighed deeply. “I’m fine. I’m lucky, but I’m fine… just a concussion and some minor bruising.” He was beginning to grow frustrated by Link’s distance from him. “Come here wouldja!” he giggled. _I want to hold you._

 _Don’t prolong the agony._ “Rhett, Jessie called,” he blurted out, thrusting the phone in his hand forward.

The smile disappeared from Rhett’s face and its colour grew ashen. “Oh…” he gulped loudly. His eyes fell to his hands, he rubbed at the rut on his finger where his wedding ring used to lay.

 _This needs to happen._ Link approached the bed. “I’ll give you some privacy,” he sighed, passing Rhett the phone.

Rhett nodded, taking Link’s wrist in his hand, silently pleading _Stay._

Link pulled his hand away, hung his head and walked into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind him. It popped in the latch, not fully closing. He leaned against the wall, banging his head gently against it. His head was rushing with thoughts that he’d managed to banish since waking to the sight of Rhett’s smiling face. Thoughts of losing what he held so dear. _I can’t lose you._

Rhett opened his call log, staring at the screen. His finger hesitating. _You have to do this._ He pressed to call. He brought the phone to his ear, listening to it ring for a fraction of a second before his call was answered.

 **“Rhett!?”** Jessie’s frantic voice carried into the room.

“Jessie, it’s okay.” He wanted to end her torture quickly. He could sense the panic in her voice.

 **“Oh thank God!”** Her voice collapsed on itself, giving way to a whimpering cry.

“I’m okay, Jessie,” he soothed his panic-stricken wife with his soft voice. “It was just a stupid fender bender,” he lied. _She doesn’t need to know how bad… it could have been._

 **“I’m so sorry!”** she cried out.

“Oh, Jessie…” Rhett his eyes burning as listened to her pained voice. “You… you have nothing to apologize for,” he reasoned. _This is my fault, not yours._

Link listened to the pain that was creeping into Rhett’s tone of voice. _No._ He ran his hand through his messy locks, as he bend forward at the waist, staring at the floor.

**“Yes I do!”** she hollered. **“I shouldn’t have been so hateful!”** She sucked in a hard breath, it escaped has a jarring moan. 

Rhett heard his heart monitor respond to the racing thrumming in his chest.

**“You… you are their father.”** she managed through breathy tears. **“I should never have–”**

“It’s okay, Jessie,” Rhett tried to calm her. “I am the one who should be sorry.”

 **“Rhett… Rhett, I love you.”** Her voice was suddenly coherent and definite.

The call fell silent, Link’s stood straight, craning his head, listening.

“I love you too,” Rhett said calmly.

Link’s heart shattered inside of him. He was sure the shards of it were ripping him apart from the inside out. _That’s it._ He ripped his glasses off, holding them in one hand while he covered his face with the other. He felt his tears running between his fingers, stinging the small cuts on his knuckles. _I’ve lost you._

Link pushed from away from the wall, stumbling forward into a jog, his lungs were tight in his chest. His heart pounded against his sternum, a maddening buzz started to fill his head. He had lost everything, everything he thought he finally had a firm grasp on, for the first time in his life, in an instant. He wanted to scream, to rip the world apart with his bare hands, and fall away into nothingness. He pushed through the swinging doors, reaching in front of him as he pushed through the small crowd to reach the doors, needing desperately to breath the fresh air in hopes that it might ease the pain.

Rhett took in a lungful of air before continuing. “But, I can’t be with you,” Rhett stated plainly. “I will always care for you, but I can’t be what you deserve.” He wished that he could see her face, that he could hold her hand. He loved her, he would always love her but, his heart belonged to someone else. _I need to be with him._

Jessie sniffed loudly before speaking. **“It’s okay,”** she breathed out heavily. **“Just… I…”** She struggled to find words. **“We… we can talk… when you get back.”**

“Jessie, I– ”Rhett began.

 **“I understand, Rhett...”** she interjected, her voice clear and calm. **“The boys will want to see you when you get back… call me when you land.”**

Rhett was full of gratitude, this woman was so much more than he deserved. She had always been loving and kind. A mother his children were lucky to have. He felt immeasurable guilt for the suffering he had caused her, for making her feel like she wasn’t enough. Yet, here she was, offering him everything he could have hoped for and more when he’d poured the truth into her lap only days earlier. _You are incredible._ “I will.”

The call ended.

Rhett sat in his bed, stunned. Everything that had happened since he awoke in this room felt like a dream. The feeling of his mother’s loving embrace, his father’s tender smile, the promise of his children’s smiles and love. Link. His hand in Link’s, his lips on Link’s, their love finally vindicated, no longer a secret to hide.

He looked to the slightly ajar door. “Link,” he called, needing to be with him in this perfect moment but, his call was met with silence. “Link!” he repeated. _No!_ Rhett thought over his end of the conversation he’d just had. _He heard me._ “Link, no!” He peeled the thin blanket from his legs, swinging them over the edge of the bed. _No!_

He ripped the I.V. from his hand untangling it from his arm. He pulled the tubing from his nose; it was hooked snugly behind his ear. _Get the fuck off of me!_ He threw it aside and stood, barefoot on the cold floor. His head spun, the effects of his concussion becoming clear. He shook the haze and began to stagger toward the door, grabbing at the frame as he fell against the door, pushing into the hallway. His lose gown caught on the door handle.

“Link!?” he cried out, his voice desperate, needy. _Don’t leave me!_

Link stood as the sliding door permitted his exit, the cool early morning air washed over his damped cheeks. _Rhett, I can’t do this without you._ He walked forward, his eyes on the horizon, the sunrise filtered through the trees painting the ground with beautiful shades of pink and orange, the round edge of the sun crested a distant hill. Light flickered through tree branches, glinting off the puddles that remained from the previous night’s rain. _I can’t._ He looked up at the fading stars overhead.

Rhett pushed into the lobby, his eyes flitting over each face, searching for Link’s. His appearance drew the attention of many, but he ignored their concerned stares. The sun light coming through the window stung his eyes, it was blinding and warm. He walked toward the door.

“Sir! You can’t...” called a voice from behind him.

He ignored it, pressing forward. The doors slid open in front of him, the fresh air rushed in. He shielded his eyes with his arm. Through the blinding rays, a familiar figure came into focus. “Link.”

Link’s heart stopped at the sound of the voice behind him. _Am I dreaming?_ He turned slowly, the sun now on his back. He took in the image before him. "Rhett.”

Rhett’s hospital gown billowed in the gentle breeze, he dropped his arm from his face, not caring if the sun might blind him. “Link.” He began walking forward, the rough concrete scratching at his bare soles.

Without any conscious thought, Link was moving toward him, closing the gap between them rapidly.

Their bodies crashed together. Their hands wrapped desperately around one another, clinging to each others' weary bodies.

Link stood on the balls of his feet, burying his face into the crook of Rhett’s neck, breathing in the scent of him. _I need to be with you._

Rhett pawed at Link’s shirt, gripping it in his hands, before running them over the expanse of his back. _I will always be with you._ He pressed his mouth to the soft brown hair at his cheek. “Link, I love you!” he muttered into the tangled locks.

Link pulled away from Rhett’s neck and stared up into the loving eyes above him. “I love you too!” He placed his hands on Rhett’s cheeks, drawing his face downward and covering Rhett’s mouth with his own.

Their kiss was passionate, full of desperation brought on by years of denial, lies, and guilt. They were finally able to love openly, allowed to take what they needed from one another, without shame, for the first time. Liberated, unimpeded. They experienced their first kiss the way it always should have been, the way it should have felt. Free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slightly longer time between updates here. I had some marginally distracting conversations this week and it resulted in an inability to dive back into this world right away. I am hoping that this update has been worth your wait. I love you all and, as always, thank you for reading!
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Wolf Larson - If I Be Wrong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cchlCNlJUXw)  
> [Ben Howard - Promise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVUOTzoVeZA)  
> [Amber Run - 5AM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qge9mS3umFk)  
> [Seafret - Oceans](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqsL0QQaSP4)
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By: @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/145478450625/they-were-finally-able-to-love-openly-allowed-to)


	17. Unburdened

Link felt the sun warming his back. The light burned away the last of the mist in the air. He breathed in deeply, his forehead resting against Rhett’s, his face serene and loving.

Rhett smiled down at him. _You are… everything._ He planted a gentle kiss to Link’s forehead, smiling against his skin. He looked up at the brightening sky, it mirrored the lightness growing in his heart.

“Mr. McLaughlin!” called a small but stern voice from behind him.

Link pulled away and peered around Rhett’s large shoulder. Two women, one of them familiar to him, were jogging toward them. “Looks like you’re in trouble _‘Mr. McLaughlin’_ ,” he taunted.

Rhett turned to see that one of them was pushing a wheel chair. _Really?_ “Ladies, look, I’m fine… I don’t need that thing.” He dropped his hands from Link and turned to face them, his head suddenly woozy. He stumbled before a firm hand grasped his elbow, supporting him.

“Woah there, Rhett,” Link said, grabbing at him and lowering his body to take Rhett’s arm over his shoulder. “Maybe you should consider their offer. You’re a mess.” He reached around his back closing the gown that covered very little, if any, of Rhett’s bare rump. He grinned up at him, unable to contain what he knew was a patronizing smirk that Rhett would hate. 

Rhett sneered back, closing one eye and shaking his head subtly. “Look who’s talking!” he said, gesturing to Link’s bloodstained shirt. It was speckled and smeared in dark remnants of the night before.

Link chuckled as he turned Rhett’s body and sat him in the waiting chair. “Sorry ladies, he’s a bit bullheaded sometimes.” Link smiled at them.

“Clearly!” The unfamiliar nurse shook her head, rolling her eyes.

Link smiled at Elia, the nurse who had offered him solace when he’d needed only Rhett. He watched as she grinned back.

“Link, I had my father pick up your rental.” He gestured to the parking lot where Link’s dark SUV was parked. “The keys should be in the glove box. You left them in the ambul….” Rhett winced as the fuzzy details of the accident flashed in his mind. “They thought they were mine.”

Link’s smile faded as he recalled sirens and jarring lights of the night before.

\---------------

“Sir… you…. to… move,” a voice was muddled in a dense fog.

Link’s hand stroked Rhett’s hair, he’d removed his Henley and had it pressed to Rhett’s seeping head wound, the t-shirt beneath was not spared; it too was covered in crimson. _Rhett._ Link’s eyes poured over every detail of Rhett’s features, each crease, each line, each tiny fleck of colour. He’d watched Rhett’s eyes drift closed and feared he may have looked into them for the last time. _Don’t you dare leave me!_

He wanted to scream. He wanted to beg for Rhett to be spared but feared that if his pleas were heard, they would only condemn the man he loved. _I don’t deserve for my prayers to be answered._

“Sir!” The loud voice cut through and the world came flooding in.

Bright blue and red lights flashed through the shattered glass, casting shadows that draped themselves over the dashboard and the slumped, broken body. Sirens growing louder as they approached. A gloved hand grasped at his shoulder, pulling him away.

“No!” Link yelled out. “Get off of me!” He squirmed against the hold on him.

“We can’t help him if you don’t move.” The voice was calm but stern. Practiced.

 _I can’t leave you._ Link’s heart raced, he ground his teeth. “I won’t leave him!” he screamed whipping his head around, his brows knit. “I won’t!” He began to sob deeply, the concussive force of each one shook his lungs and prevented his breathing.

“You need to let us help him.”

Link looked into the warm eyes of the paramedic, they were understanding and kind. _You’re only hurting him._ He stopped fighting and allowed the gentle hand to pull him, his hands slipped from Rhett. _I’m right here, Rhett._ He felt his heart drop in his chest as the sensation of Rhett’s skin on his own disappeared.

He stepped away from the car, watching as frantic hands worked over Rhett’s crumpled bloody body. He watched as they tossed away the soiled shirt, the wound still actively leaking the red fluid. A second paramedic’s hands were on him, feeling over his arms and face, pressing at the cut in his eyebrow. “I’m fine.” His voice was dejected and detached. The hands continued. “I wasn’t with him, just stop!” He pushed the frantic hands away. _I should have been with him…_

A fire truck pulled to a halt. Several men clamored from it and rushed to the smoking engine, assessing the damage. The paramedics cut away Rhett’s seat belt. They carefully extracted his limp body from the car, laying it across a backboard. They were talking to each other as if in code. _‘BPM’, ‘86/55’, ‘hypovolemic’._ It was all gibberish to Link, but he knew it wasn’t good.

He felt the weight of Rhett’s phone in his pocket. _Trying to call me. You idiot!_ He brought his hands to his hair, the drying blood rubbing off in the dark strands. _No!_ He drifted into a haze once more.

A police officer approached him, a notepad in hand. “Sir? I’m sorry but, I’m going to need a statement.” The officer ducked his head trying to force eye contact.

Link’s mind was flooded with guilt, the officer’s voice not registering. _This is my fault._ His eyes darted wildly in their sockets as his breathing accelerated. _I should never have let him leave!_ Everything blurred out of focus, the only sound was the pounding of his pulse in his ears, the only image, Rhett’s wrecked limp body. _If he dies…_ A hand on his shoulder jarred him.

“Sir? Your statement.”

“I… I uh, I didn’t see what happened… I just… I just found him like-” His voice caught in his throat as loud sob finished his sentence. _Oh God, Rhett._ His chin fell to his chest as he tried to calm his breathing.“He must have hydroplaned… I don’t know.” He lifted his gaze and shook his head at the questioning officer.

“Do you know this man?” He removed his hand from Link and was hurriedly jotting notes, looking around at the scene and then back to Link.

“Uh, yes,” Link stammered. “Yes, he’s my…” _everything._ “…friend.”

“That your car there?” The officer gestured to the askew SUV, still running and blocking the lane.

“Yes,” Link murmured.

“If I could get you to pull it to the shoulder…” He raised his eyebrows in question, his voice was careful and respectful.

The sounds of walkies-talkies and loud engines filled the air, Link stepped past the policeman without verbally responding to his request. He passed the paramedics on the way to his car, they were huddled over Rhett. Link looked away, closing his eyes at the sight. _He has to be alright._

He climbed into the open door of the SUV and hastily pulled it to the curb. In his rear view mirror he watched as Rhett was wheeled to the rear of the ambulance. _I have to be with him._ He threw open the door, slamming it behind him and rushing forward as they tucked the wheels and began loading Rhett into the back.

“Wait!” he called out. “I’m going with him!” He was desperately reaching ahead, his eyes never leaving Rhett. A hand pressed into his chest.

“I’m sorry but, we don’t allow that.” A soft and gentle voice attempted to sooth.

“What? No! That’s bullshit.” He pushed his body forward but was held in place. “I’m fucking going!” he shouted.

“Liiinnk…” A quiet, mumbled voice traveled from the rear of the vehicle.

Link’s eyes blew open, his heart leapt in his chest. “Rhett!?” He shoved the large man away, suddenly fueled with the strength of ten men. He clambered forward, stumbling as he pulled himself into the ambulance; his key’s falling from his hand and clattering on the metal floor. “Rhett, I’m here!” Link pulled Rhett’s limp hand into his own, transferring blood to his long cold fingers.

Rhett’s eyes remained closed, he had fallen silent once more.

“Sir, I know this is hard but, I’m going to have to ask you to–”

“I’m not fucking leaving him!” Link snapped as he tore his eyes from Rhett to stare daggers at the source of the words that threatened to tear them apart. His eyes were wild and angry.

The startled paramedic leaned away, looking out at their counterpart standing at the rear. A small non-verbal exchange between the two, and the doors were closing.

_I’m never going to leave you._

\---------------

Link shook himself from the painful reminder that he could have lost the beautiful man that now sat smiling in front of him.

“Not sure how you managed to worm your way into the ambulance but...” _I knew you were there._ Rhett’s cheeks flushed pink.

“Your friend is pretty tenacious,” Elia said, with a teasing tone. “Not one to be easily deterred by the _rules_ ,"she winked at Link.

He grinned back, recalling her kindness.

“Let’s get you back inside.” She placed her hand on Rhett's shoulder and smiled down at him. “You might get out of here soon if you take it easy.” 

“Here’s hoping,” Rhett quipped. “Go get changed.” He nodded at Link. “You look like an ink blot test,” he giggled as his chair spun around and he was wheeled toward the door.

“Oh? And what do you see?” Link called to him.

Rhett looked over his shoulder. “An adorable dork,” He winked, his cheeks balling up.

Link shook his head, the corner of his mouth turned up as he sighed at the familiar term of endearment. _Like nothing has changed._ He looked down at the ground. _Except, everything has._

The doors slid open and Rhett disappeared behind them.

Link turned into the sun once more; it was now higher in the sky. Birds were calling out the morning as he shielded his eyes from the blinding rays. He spotted the SUV and headed toward it. The doors were unlocked. He saw Rhett’s bag sitting on the passenger seat, likely collected by Rhett’s father. He reached across the console, popping open the glove box and snatching up the keys. He looked down at them. Smears of blood adorned the metallic surfaces. He closed his hand around them, no longer wanting to be reminded of the painful events he’s just relived.

He clicked the glove box closed and slid back out of the car. He climbed in the back seat and allowed his tired body to rest against it a moment before he looked down at his bloody shirt. He felt like he might vomit. _Get off of me!_ He ripped it from his body, tossing it to the floor. He slumped back, allowing his bare skin to press into the smooth fabric. He tipped his head back taking in a long breath, exhaling though his nose. He pulled off his glasses, holding them in his still aching hand. He rubbed at his tired eyes, the left still painful to the touch. He opened his eyes and was confronted by the shining ring that decorated his finger. His brows furrowed as he dropped his left hand to lap and slid his glasses back on.

He spun the ring around his digit once before sliding it off and onto the thumb of his opposite hand, then the other. The metal dragged against his skin with each pass. He’d worn this ring every day of his life for nearly twenty years yet, no rut was visible on his finger. It had faded as he and Rhett’s relationship blossomed.

Link so frequently removed his ring, engaging in this familiar ritual, that it no longer had time to leave the characteristic impression. People had noticed his habit, had brought it to his attention, assuming it was an absent minded gesture to keep his hands busy. He knew better, it was his guilt manifest.

Whenever he let his mind drift, to focus on the complexity of his romantic relationships, the precarious nature of it all, he reached for the metal circlet, unable to allow himself to wear it. _I’m so sorry, Christy._ It comforted him to be free of the confining feeling, it eased his guilt. _I should never have kept this from you._

He held it by either side between his thumbs and forefingers, staring though the center of it. This ring had, for so long, been a reminder of his inability to be what it represented, faithful, devoted, and committed. He let it fall into the palm of his left hand. _I’m sorry._ He closed his fingers around it and tucked it into the small pocket of his jeans. _I never deserved for you to love me._

He swallowed hard and chewed at the insides of his mouth. His upper lip twitched into a small smile for just a moment as he stared down at his naked hand, finally feeling free of the culpability that the small metal token had burdened him with. _I don’t want to hide anymore._ He ran his tongue over his lip recalling the warmth of Rhett’s mouth and their loving embrace. _I don’t have to hide anymore._

He reached down under the seat and pulled out his bag. He selected a plaid button down, reds and light blues. He slid it on over his shoulders and struggled to close the buttons across his chest. He looked at his reflection in the rear view mirror and brushed his hair with his hand trying to get it to behave. He gave up when he was marginally satisfied with the results. He reached into the front seat, collecting Rhett’s small duffle.

Link slid across the seat and exited the car. As he walked toward the hospital, toward Rhett, he felt like he was walking toward the rest of his life, toward a new and bright future. _No more hiding._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing with me on the journey! I love you all!  
> <3 RTR 
> 
> **Suggested Listening:**  
> [Sia - Breath Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM)  
> [Placebo - Running Up That Hill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KEEXyRL0qE)  
> [Lifehouse - Everything](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYO1Pf-_EQw)


	18. Always

Rhett stood staring at his reflection in the small mirror. The paint around the edges was chipped, the metal frame dented and worn. The tiny bathroom was barely large enough to accommodate his large body; he had to stoop to even get a good look at himself. He grimaced at the sight before him. His eyes were tired, dark but content. His floppy hair lay over his forehead. He dragged his hand through it, in an attempt to force it into its usual upward fashion, a futile exercise. It fell back across his brow as he dropped his hand to his forehead, tracing over the small stitched wound. He shook his head. _Lucky it’s just a cut._

He felt himself stumble as another wave of dizziness washed over him. The nurses had told him to stay in bed, that he needed to rest but he could not settle, he felt like his heart was ready to take flight. He traced his tongue over his lip, closing his eyes. The image of Link, standing in the early morning sunshine wearing an affectionate smile, slowly painted itself in his mind’s eye, like a water colour painting, blotting to life. The pain killers and his concussion influenced his normally accurate visual images, causing them to appear as artistic impressions. _It’s beautiful… you’re beautiful._

He swayed in place, his cheeks balling up as he appreciated the man in his mind. He breathed deeply, allowing the air to fill his lungs to their depths. His head fell forward, his chin resting against his chest as he allowed himself to be drenched in the majesty of his minds creation. He sighed contentedly, bringing the back of his hand to the hairs on his chin lifting it before stroking slowly over stoking his cheeks, his index finger finally trailing over his chin to trace the thin line of his lips.

With his mind flooded in images of Link, he felt like he could feel, could taste, every kiss he and Link had ever shared. _You are my life…_ He chewed gingerly at the corner of his lip, a small contented sound escaped, filling the small space. He could feel the line where the seat belt had jarred against his chest, the burning sting of the cut on his forehead but, those nagging pains were rendered insignificant in the wake of the all-consuming satisfaction he was experiencing.

In the midst of his revelry, Rhett hadn’t noticed the bathroom door had swung slowly on its hinges, and that the object of his current infatuation stood only mere feet away.

Link nudged his glasses up his nose with the back of his hand, leaning his shoulder against the door frame and crossing his legs, one over the other. He watched Rhett swaying, listened to the gentle sound of his slow breaths, appreciated the sight of his round rump peaking through the slit in the back of the pale green hospital gown. _I could stare at you all day._ He dragged his front teeth over his bottom lip before moving to stand behind the oblivious man. He slipped his hands under the soft material of the gown, placed them tenderly on either side of Rhett’s rib cage. Rhett’s skin was warm and inviting beneath his fingertips.

Rhett registered the sensation, and for a moment was convinced it was a conjuring of his own mind. Sure that he was simply projecting the images in his mind into the feeling of touch. “Link,” he sighed.

Link’s forehead fell forward resting against Rhett’s back as his arms encircled his trunk, he clasped his hands together, squeezing gently. “I’m here, Rhett.”

Rhett’s eyes shot open he took in a sharp breath. He brought hand to his chest, feeling Link’s though the thin cotton. “Mmmm.” Rhett clasped his hand around Link’s, bunching the material. “I thought you were a dream.” Rhett purred, looking into the mirror and catching small glimpses of the smaller man behind him. Feeling the warmth of his touch.

Link pressed a small kiss to exposed space between Rhett’s shoulder blades before unclasping his hands, slipping them free and spinning Rhett in place. “Does this feel like a dream?” Link said, looking up into Rhett’s dazed grey-green’s, rising up on the tips of his toes capturing Rhett’s mouth in his own, kissing him deeply and lovingly.

Rhett cupped Link’s face in his hands, wanting to hold him, just like this, forever. To feel his lips surrounding the perfect cupids bow that sat atop Link’s perfect pink mouth. He smiled at the feeling of Link’s rough stubble. He’d developed a bit of a soft spot for the scuff that Link occasionally allowed to grace his face, especially between breaks in filming. He dragged his thumbs over the sand paper-textured skin before separating his lips from Link’s, just enough to breath, their lips still brushing, their noses pressed together. “Yes… a scruffy dream come true,” Rhett whispered between them.

Link huffed air through his nose, pulling back from Rhett to look up at him. “Look, say what you want about my face…” He reached up, rubbing his fingers over his chin, “I’m not the one standing here with my ass hanging out.” He reached around and gave Rhett a firm smack on his exposed cheek.

Rhett jumped in surprise, chuckling, appreciating the lightness in the air around them, in the mood. Only a few hours earlier, as his car careened headlong into a tree, he’d thought it might have been the end of it all. An end to not just the levity he’d hoped he might one day share with his best friend once more, like he was in this moment but, his life, their life together. Just as he prepared to open his mouth an offer a lippy retort, a voice sounded from the adjacent room.

“Alright, Mr. McLaugh…” A pause. “Mr. McLaughlin?” Concern and question were clear in the man’s voice.

Link took a small step back, leaning to see out of the narrow doorway, seeking the source of the intrusion that had prevented the lasting of this moment.

Rhett recognized the voice carrying through the open door of the bathroom. _The doctor._ He placed his hands on the balls of Link’s shoulders for a moment, looking into his disappointed face, his eyebrows arched, his mouth turned down into a small pout. Both of his steely irises were now in nearly full view, the swelling in his eye subsiding, being replaced by a dull aging bruise.

Rhett lifted his hand and brushed the pad of his thumb over Link’s delicate cheekbone before taking a step around him, clasping the back of his gown closed and stepping out into the room, silently answering the inquisition.

Link had sat in the small chair, where he maintained his vigil over Rhett the night before, listening to the doctor scold Rhett for disobeying his orders, watched as a nurse connected the tubes and monitors. The doctor then spoke words that reminded Link of what he was only too aware of. _‘Mr. Mclaughlin, you are incredibly lucky.’_ The unaware physician had not realized that his statement would have been more accurately directed at Link. _I am the lucky one._ Link watched as white coated man moved around Rhett, checked monitors and jotted in the flip chart he held. _Without him… I am nothing._

When they were alone in the room once more, Link watched as Rhett’s eyes fluttered shut, the pain killers doing their job and allowing him to rest. Link settled into the chair, prepared to wait as long as it would take, turning down offers for more comfortable accommodations. _I will be here when you wake. I will always be here._

The sun grew brighter, streaming through the window and glinting off the shiny metallic surfaces and glaring up from the waxed floor. Link could sense the heat in it, knowing it had the feeling of summer sun. It reminded him of each and every day he had spent frolicking beneath it, Rhett at his side, in a simpler time, a time when their affection for one another had been innocent and unencumbered. For so long he had yearned to feel that same freedom again, and in the morning light of this day, nearly a decade in the making, he had.

\---------------

Link watched as Rhett strode through the sliding doors and into the bright glow of day. The heat of the sun radiated through the air. He took a moment to appreciate the view, stopping in place a moment. Rhett looked himself, his hair stood aloft; he was no longer clad in hospital garb. The smooth curves of his shoulders were adorned with a robin’s egg blue v-neck, his perfect thighs hugged in grey denim.

Rhett noticed that Link had lost stride with him and looked over his shoulder, only to find Link staring, his eyes full of child-like wonderment, gawking, for lack of a better word. “Stop it, Link,” Rhett sniggered, shaking his head. “I’m not a piece of meat,” he winked.

Link drew in a deep breath before jogging to catch up. “Aren’t you?” He jabbed Rhett with his elbow.

The two laughed and nudged each other as they walked to Link’s rental. They settled into the front seat, Link behind the wheel.

“You sure you’re ready for this, Rhett… to drive?” Link said, his eyes circling the car. 

Rhett nodded, breathing out loudly through slightly parted lips. “Yeah, I am.”

Link turned the key in the ignition, pulling out of the parking lot and driving away from the place that had threatened to separate them forever. He watched as the hospital disappeared over the horizon in the rear view mirror.

Rhett rolled down his window, feeling the fresh air flow through the ever widening slit. He rested his elbow on the sill, grasping the roof between his fingers. He smiled out at the trees whipping past.

Link followed the familiar roads of his youth, each rotation of the tires taking them ever closer to their destination.

Rhett turned to him. “Flight’s at eight?” he queried, recalling the conversation they had shared as Rhett was finally released from the confines of his hospital bed and allowed dress in his own clothes. A conversation where they’d determined that they were booked on the same flight back to California.

Link nodded in response. He’d not been surprised by the apparent coincidence of their shared flight. Everything that had happened in the last three days had seemed designed to bring them together. Like they were oppositely charged magnets that no force was capable of separating. Certainly not American Airlines.

“Turn here,” Rhett said, gesturing at the small road to the left.

“Rhett... do you honestly think I would forget how to get here?” Link jeered.

“Just making sure,” Rhett teased.

Link pulled onto the narrow road, the canopies of the trees on either side joined overhead. Sunlight peaked through the gaps, flickering across the pavement.

Rhett watched as the light danced across Link’s smiling face, reflecting off of his glasses. _Everything._

They continued down the winding road. The car jostled as they transitioned from smooth asphalt to gravel.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Rhett finally asked as the car pulled to a halt at the end of a narrow, secluded side road.

Link recalled standing looking out the hospital room window, the sun warming his cheek, he’d decided how he wanted to spend the few hours they had left in the place that had brought them together as children, and again when things had never felt more desperate.

“Yes,” Link said, without a hint of uncertainty.

“Alright.” Rhett pulled open his door and climbing out. He stared into the trees at the glinting light that flashed through the trunks, reflections of the sun’s rays dancing across flat calm water. His heart fluttered.

Link jumped out, moving to stand in front of the car, leaning against the hood. “You ready?” He giggled, still undeterred.

Rhett pulled his shirt over his shoulders, throwing it at Link.

Link reached up, snagging it from the air, a wide grin on his face. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the expanse of Rhett’s broad chest, his perfect pecs. A faint wide bruise crossed his body outlining where the seat belt, that had likely saved his life, had dug into him. _Still perfect._

“What do you think, Brother?” Rhett flashed his eyebrows, biting the tip of his tongue between his teeth.

“Stripping, are we?” Link said, kicking off his shoes and beginning to work the buttons of his shirt.

Rhett watched as more and more of Link’s body peeked out with the release of each button. A low groan rumbled in his chest as he imagined that same skin glistening and wet.

Link shrugged off his shirt, being sure to exaggerate the roll of his shoulders, knowing it would drive Rhett crazy. He tossed the garment onto the hood of the car. His hands moved to the button of his jeans, releasing it and peeling open the zipper, revealing his dark boxer briefs. The flaps of his jeans hung loosely from his hips.

Rhett swallowed hard, his body felt deprived of oxygen and he realized he’d been holding his breath.

Link watched Rhett’s eyes wandering over his body. _Always staring._ Link’s mouth turned up into a smirk as he tipped his head, pulling his glasses down the bridge of his nose just enough to look over them at his bewildered looking lover. 

_Dang._ Rhett was beginning to pant, his heart now thrumming readily against his sternum.

Link finished removing his glasses, holding the arms between his teeth and running his hand through his hair.

“You tryin’ to tease me, Neal?” Rhett finally managed to speak.

Link plucked the glasses from his lip and closed the arms against his chin. “Not at all,” Link retorted, placing the folded lenses on his discarded shirt. _Wasn’t that obvious._ his eyes narrowed and he smiled widely.

Rhett chuckled, low and long as he reached for the fly of his own jeans. _We’ll see._ He took his time unclasping it, dragging the zipper slowly to its base, swaying his hips and cocking his head to the side.

Link’s mouth gaped open and his tongue flicked out, wetting his lower lip. _Shit!_ He watched Rhett’s body wiggle and wind. _Time to take back the helm of this ship._ He pushed his jeans down over his thighs stepping out of them. He stood in only his boxers, all the excitement and teasing had created an impressive bulge in the front. “Race ya!” He took off, barefoot down the narrow path that led to the river’s edge.

“Sneaky little…” Rhett ripped at his pants as he toed off his sneakers. He struggled to free his large feet from the narrow leg openings as he watched Link bouncing down the path, stepping over large rocks and roots. When he finally kicked free he darted toward the path, his long strides had him closing in on Link fast.

Link skidded to a halt just shy of the water lapping at the shore. The Cape Fear River sprawled out before him, winding into the distance in either direction. The mid afternoon sun was throwing beams sunshine light through the trees causing the nearly glass smooth surface of the slow moving water to gleam and glint. The sounds of chirping birds and buzzing cicadas filled the air. _I’ve missed this place._

Rhett came crashing through high grass at the end of the trail, stumbling to a halt realizing Link had yet to make his way into the, sure to be chilly, water. He stood next to Link, draping his arm over his shoulder, clasping his hand over Link’s thin, muscular arm. _I’m not sure I’d rather be anywhere else in the world than right here._

This was their favorite part of the river, it was quiet, and slow moving, a prefect escape. A place they had come regularly, but not one they shared with anyone else. This was _their_ place, like a pasture, it was sacred.

Link reached across his chest, placing his bruised hand over Rhett’s, tipping his head to brush against the warm skin of the back of his large hand. He stood a moment before stepping free of Rhett’s hold and facing him. “Swim with me?” He said, his eyes wide and loving.

Rhett looked down at Link, the sun at his back lit the edges of his hair, a halo of light surrounded his serene face. _Anything for you._ “Okay, Link.” His voice was quiet and tranquil.

Link smiled stepping backward into the water. _Jesus!_ It was almost unbearably cold, sending a shiver through his body and stinging at his skin. He couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath.

Rhett’s eyebrow shot up at the small pathetic sound. “Cold?” he asked, mockingly.

Link didn’t respond, he simply turned to face away, knowing his eyes betrayed him more than anything else. He looked out over the calm water, the sights and sounds distracted him from the dull ache around his ankles where the water lapped at his skin. He reached down and slid off his boxers, stepping out of them and tossing them onto the bank. He wanted no barrier between his skin and the water, between his skin and Rhett’s.

Rhett’s eyes drifted over the planes of Link’s slender frame, the ridges of his spine, the points of his shoulder blades, the dimples in the small of his back. _Breathtaking._ His eyes continued their journey over Link’s pleasingly round cheeks and the small creases below each one where his thin thighs met them. Without a conscious though, Rhett was removing his own boxers, pushing them aside with his foot.

Link took a few tentative steps into deeper water, it rose to his knees and he felt his body quake. Before he had time to admit to Rhett that the water was indeed frigid, a lumbering frame and lanky limbs filled his periphery. Splashes of water sprayed up, drenching his body. “Huuuahh, Huaah!” Link cried out as the cold water sucked the air from his lungs.

Rhett had made the decision before they’d even gotten out of the car, that no matter how cold the water was, he was getting in. He chose to dive in head first, and take Link with him. He stared at his handiwork. Link’s hair was streaming water over his face, his body glistened in the sunlight, his nipples completely erect, the muscles in his chest and arms trembling. Rhett laughed heartily, throwing his head back.

Link tired to blow the hanging strands out of his eyes, but didn’t have enough breath in his lungs to do more than cause them to twitch. He brought hand to his forehead pushing it aside and gathering himself. “What the hell, Rhett!” He stammered through trembling lips before reaching down and shoving his hands into the water’s surface, splashing back.

 _Big mistake._ He grinned mischievously peering through the thin slits of his narrowed eyes peeking through his now drenched and, once again droopy hair. Rhett rushed forward tackling Link and pushing him into deeper water.

Link shrieked as Rhett barreled into him, giggling as he clung to him.

The two splashed and played. Their limbs tangling as they rolled and wrestled, both of them forgetting the cold water and any other distraction from one another. This time was theirs. They relished in the sounds of one another’s lighthearted laughter and teasing, feeling like children again. 

Link jumped at Rhett to tackle him, to drag him under the water, to continue their game but, Rhett was prepared for his advance.

Rhett enveloped Link’s nearly airborne body in his arms, cradling him to his chest.

Their chests heaved together from the exertion and the cold. The water crested Link’s clavicles and broke over Rhett’s hardened nipples. Their cold skin warmed at each point of their union, those warm areas grew larger with each passing second of skin-on-skin contact. The water began feeling colder as a result.

Link lifted his arms laying them over Rhett’s shoulders, draping his wrists lazily over one another behind his neck. _Never let me go._ Link’s eyes traveled over the bruise line that ran up and over Rhett’s shoulder, he pressed his lips to it gently a few times before leaning his forehead into the dip between Rhett’s collar bones, breathing out all the air he held in his lungs.

The feeling of Link’s hot breath washing over his chilled chest had Rhett’s body responding in a very familiar manner. “Link,” he whimpered as his length twitched against Link's lower abdomen.

Link’s head fell back as he felt Rhett’s body, responding to his touch.

Rhett took advantage of the access he now had to Links slim neck and dipped his head, parting his lips and placing a wet kiss into the crook. _I want you so bad._ He pressed his tongue against Link’s pulsating artery, feeling his racing heartbeat vibrate his tongue. 

The heat of Rhett’s mouth was like fire, igniting Link’s icy skin. He felt like the heat was emanating out and covering his body, that he could warm the entire river with his desire. “God, Rhett.” _I need you._ His own growing erection pressed against Rhett’s thigh.

Rhett moaned into Link’s skin before peppering kisses over then length of his clavicles, licking and sucking at the protrusions, eventually making his way back up the sinewy tendon astride Link’s collar bone to his chin and finally taking his mouth, greedy for the flavor of him. His hands explored the expanse of Link’s back, taking moments to run fingers through the back of his soft hair.

Link’s tongue tumbled over Rhett’s, dragging over his perfect teeth on its way into Rhett’s hot mouth. His knees gave out under the weight of his passion and lust. He dropped only a few inches before Rhett’s large hands moved down his body, gripping the underside of his thighs, never unsealing their lips.

Link’s felt the weight of his body taken on by another, lifting him. His need brush against Rhett’s and he had to pull away, to breathe, to keep himself from losing consciousness. Water beaded down over his chest as the air began to dry it. He looked up to find Rhett’s usually steely-green eyes blackened with lust, hungry and passionate. _I’m nothing without you._ He wrapped his thighs around Rhett’s waist, locking his ankles, grinding into him, filled with more need than he thought he possessed.

Their bodies were connected, the heat rising in their skin in stark contrast to the icy water that surrounded them, the juxtaposition intensifying every touch, every tiny movement, every breathy gasp.

Rhett brought his hands from beneath Link’s thighs, to the sides of his face, holding it firmly, his eyes darting between Link’s corn-flower blues. “Link, I love you.” In this position, their features were in line, they were equals. Rhett was suddenly aware of an unfamiliar sensation taking hold, something underlying the passion and need, deliverance… liberation. He pressed his forehead to Link’s. “I’m finally _allowed_ to love you.” A single tear formed in the corner of his eye before spilling out and running down his nose.

Link thought his heart might explode, its rhythm becoming erratic as Rhett’s words sank in. They’d never touched each other with the kind of freedom they had now. Moments like these, and like the kiss they had shared that morning would be forever changed. _I never knew it could feel like this._ For the first time, the feeling of Rhett’s loving touch was accompanied by only feelings of pleasure, love, and honesty. “I love you, Rhett... more than you will ever know.” He laced his fingers together behind Rhett’s head.

Rhett growled, chewing at his lower lip, completely overcome by his desire for the man that clung to him. His eyes darted over Link’s shoulder to a flat grassy lea. He began taking long strides toward the bank, the water level dropping with each step.

 _Rhett, your back!_ Link opened his mouth to object but Rhett’s mouth covered his, silencing his protest. The kiss was urgent and wanton.

Rhett walked them out onto the bank. Any pain in his back could not compete with the endorphins coursing through his veins with each beat of his heart. The grass beneath his feet was soft and inviting. He brought their bodies to the earth, laying Link gently in the wide blades of green. The sun, now hanging lower in the sky, cast a deep golden glow over Link’s pink cheeks, glinting off his wet, swollen lips.

Link looked up at the beautiful man above him, ready to give him anything he might ask for. “Rhett, I’m yours.” He tried to rise to his elbows, to force their mouths to meet once more but Rhett’s hand held him to the ground.

Rhett shook his head before pressing a small kiss to Link’s soft lips. He trailed the same soft kisses down over Link’s neck and chest, over the lines of his ribs. He positioned himself between Link’s knees still delivering small pecks to Link’s torso and his navel where he paused and blew gently into the hairs just below it. Smiling in anticipation of the response he knew it would elicit.

Link’s hips bucked wildly, his hardness bumping into Rhett’ chest, leaving a wet mark where his leaking tip had made contact. “Rhett, please,” Link moaned.

Rhett hadn’t planned on making him wait, but just couldn’t resist hearing Link’s pleading at least once. He lowered himself and took Link’s length into his mouth, sealing Link inside and hollowing his cheeks.

Link’s fingers grasped desperately at the blades of grass surrounding their heaving bodies. He tossed his head, lost in the pleasurable feeling of Rhett’s mouth working him to within moments of his building orgasm. _Fuck!_ His hands shot from the grass to Rhett’s hair. “Rhett, st… stop. I’m gonna come,” Link pleaded, his words breathy and desperate.

Rhett released him with a wet pop, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. Turning Link into an incoherent mess was something that he took great pleasure in and now, now that they were free, the feeling was indescribable. “I want you to… I want to taste you.” Rhett said, moving to take him once again.

“No, Rhett.” Link pushed gently into Rhett’s shoulder and sat up. He grasped firmly to Rhett’s shoulders and pushed him backward, laying him gently into the grass as Rhett had done for him. “I need to feel you.” Link said straddling his knees. “I want you inside of me.” _I need to show you that I am yours._ He licked his lips and reciprocated Rhett’s wonderful gift, filling his mouth with Rhett’s length, coating him in thick saliva.

Rhett saw stars behind his eyelids, like they might burn through the thin flesh and blind anyone that might look upon them. “Link, I need you.” 

Link flattened his tongue dragging it along the hardened flesh in his mouth a final time before leaving it as wet as possible and pulling away, breathing heavily, nearly breathless, but ready to give himself to the man that he loved. To finally be filled and fulfilled at the same time.

Rhett reached for him, desperate to touch any part of Link that he could, wanting to meld their bodies into one. Forever.

Link slid up his body, positioning himself over Rhett’s slickened manhood. He spit into his hand and reached around to prepare himself. “I want you to take me, Rhett,” he said, his eyes rolling at the sensation of his own fingers. He could feel Rhett rutting against him impatiently. “I am giving myself to you, now and always.” He lifted his body and pressed his tight opening to Rhett’s slippery tip.

Rhett clasped Links hips tenderly between his fingers, staring deeply into his eyes as he pressed inside of him. The tightness, the heat, was almost too much to take. His eyelids fluttered, longing to fall closed, but he refused to allow himself to look away from the beauty before him. He would be with Link, in every moment of this perfect union, never letting his gaze drift or falter.

Link leaned forward, placing his palms on Rhett’s firm chest, gripping the pads of his fingers into the supple skin beneath. “Yes, Rhett,” he moaned, biting his lower lip so hard he tasted the tang of blood. “Just like that.” He rocked his body in time with Rhett’s slow thrusts.

Rhett dropped one of his hands from Link’s waist and wrapped it firmly around Link’s desperate, throbbing member. He pumped Link in time with the rhythm of his hips. “Link, you’re so perfect… so incredible.” Rhett could feel his need for release building deep in his gut, an undeniable pressure begging for release. His vision was beginning to blur, Link’s perfect features drifting from focus. 

Link’s breathing became ever more erratic with each pass of Rhett’s hand over him, he pass over just the right spot inside of him. “Rhett, I’m ready… I’m going to–”

“Me too, Link!” Rhett cried out. “Come with me!” he called, pumping Link faster, thrusting into him more deeply.

They called out each other’s names, panting, pleading, grasping at each other as their climaxes overtook them simultaneously, in perfect unison.

Rhett spilled into Link, filling him, continuing to rock his hips as he felt Link pour over his hand and onto his stomach. He was spent but his body wanted more, needed more, never wanted to let go. “I love you so much, Link,” he panted out.

Link’s exhausted body fell forward, his weight collapsing onto Rhett. “You are my everything, Rhett,” Link breathed onto his chest.

Their hearts pounded against each other, their breathing erratic but in step. Their love finally consummated, legitimate and honest. They were truly one, and would remain one. Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just need to start this by apologizing. I know that many of you devoted readers keep up with me on Tumblr and I assured you that I had several chapters left in this story. I want you to know that I didn't know it was the end until the last two sentences poured from my fingertips. I am just as shocked as you, and very emotional about the decision. Crying like a child, if you must know. However, to continue from here would be greedy and of me, and disingenuous to the story. It has reached its natural conclusion... this chapter feels like the end and it is how I have to leave it.
> 
> I love you all. I love each and every one of you SO DAMN MUCH! I never wanted this story to come to and end.
> 
> I have been truly moved each and every day by the love and support you have all offered, and the devotion you have for this fiction. I will never be able to fully express my gratitude to you and for that, I also must apologize.
> 
> Rest assured, this is not the last you will read from me.
> 
> "Forgive Us Our Trespasses" will always have a special place in my heart, as will each and every one of you. 
> 
> Signing off, 
> 
> <3 RTR
> 
> **Recommended Listening:**  
> [Our Lady Peace - Apology](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn_HXqX8Fao)  
> [Band Of Horses - Infinite Arms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H1h32vqDxE)  
> [Iron and Wine - 16 Maybe Less](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PMqzN4mn4c)  
> [The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build a Home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkP6Tf79UrM)
> 
> **Fanart for this Chapter:**  
> [By: @in-the-top-bunk](http://remembertherandler.tumblr.com/post/153391344585/in-the-top-bunk-forgive-us-our-trespasses-by)  
> [By: @valvenaut](http://valvenaut.tumblr.com/post/146203959865/rhett-moaned-into-links-skin-before-peppering)  
> [By: @rhettyandlinkipoo](http://rhettyandlinkipoo.tumblr.com/post/146182168797/i-am-finally-allowed-to-love-you-forgive-us)  
> [By: @Mythicalea](http://remembertherandler.tumblr.com/post/146376988275/mythicalea-a-story-that-is-still-with-me)


	19. Extended Author's Note

I decided to add this as a final chapter instead of as an author’s note at the end of the story because I hoped that in doing so, as many of you as possible might find these words, that I might be able to repay you all in some small way for everything that you have done. It is my wish that, at the very least, I can express my gratitude. 

I have been touched by the words of each and every one of you that has reached out to me. I cannot express to you what it means to me that you have read this story. I can only hope that I have offered something back to you that is a fraction as meaningful as what you have given me. 

I find myself in disbelief each and every time I read one of your thoughtful comments or loving messages. I am honoured to have been able to write this for you. Writing “Forgive Us Our Trespasses” was worth every single tear, every grimace, every agonizing second, not only because I knew that all that hardship would only make their final union incredibly beautiful and deserved but, that my words could have such an effect on so many of you. This story contains a piece of my soul and heart, it always will. 

To those of you who have put pencil to paper, pen to tablet, fingers to mouse, and created something in honour of this story, you will never know how much your gestures, creations, art have meant to me. I will never stop being amazed that my words inspired your creativity. I have made sure to post links to your wonderful creations on this story, so that others can discover your talents. 

I don’t know that I can ever thank you enough for what you have all done for me. This experience has actually changed my life. Writing is something that I had turned away from, thinking that I had made my choices in life. Thinking that writing was something I _used_ to do. I know now that I don’t have to make that choice, that I never did… and each of you helped me reach this realization. 

This whole story… all of these words and I am left with only two. 

Thank you. 

RTR <3 

**Suggested Listening:**

[Ok Go - Last Leaf](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkYfB1C0Zgc)  
[My Cover of Last Leaf](http://remembertherandler.tumblr.com/post/146531942225/an-extended-authors-note-chapter-19-to-forgive)


End file.
